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Star Wars jokes.... Post your jokes!

#1 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 26 June 2005 - 10:36 PM

Okay, I got ideas for some Star Wars jokes.

Is it Han Solo's fault?

Greedo: You dropped Jabba's cargo!
Han: It's not my fault! Chewie dropped it!
Jabba: Solo, you stepped on my tail!
Han: It's not my fault! Blame those ILM bastards!
Leia: You're going to be frozen in carbonite!
Han: It's not my fault! That Lando fucker is a traitor!
Leia: I love you.
Han: IT'S NOT MY FUCKIN' FAULT!

Point of view of the Force.

Luke: What's the freakin' force Obi-Wan?
Obi-Wan: It's a field that surrounds and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.
Luke: The Force penetrates us? I heard in Biology class that it was determined by midi-chlorians.
Obi-Wan: *waving his hand* Midi-chlorians don't exist!
Luke: I'm not weak minded!
Obi-Wan: And if I give you a cookie will you forget midi-chlorians?
Luke: A cookie? YIPEE!
Obi-Wan: You are almost identical to your father....

If you have some jokes, feel free to post.
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#2 User is offline   EwokHunter Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 12:14 AM

LOL! biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif
That was great! Continue with the good work! thumbsup.gif
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#3 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 12:27 AM

Thanks. Here's another one thinking about your name EwokHunter:

That freakin' armor!

Obi-Wan: Chancellor Palpatine. Can you pay me attention?
Palpatine: No! I'm playing the ''Ewok Hunter'' game! Yes I got the powerup! UNLIMITED POWAH!
Obi-Wan: Please pay attention....
Palpatine: The Ewoks ambushed me! Damn it, those ewoks are going to be the death of me!
Obi-Wan: Chancellor! This is about the frekin armor for the Clonetroopers! It bulletproof, fireproof and metalproof. It's unbeatable!
Palpatine: Is it rock proof?
Obi-Wan: Erm...... no.
Palpatine: DAMN THOSE EWOKS!

Please post your opinions!

This post has been edited by SithAvenger: 27 June 2005 - 12:28 AM

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#4 User is offline   EwokHunter Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 03:02 AM

HILARIOUS! biggrin.gif
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#5 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 03:07 AM

Thanks, EwokHunter! You deserve a pirate.gif !

Here's another one taken directly from other topic:

The bathroom situation.

Captain Needa: I must inform Lord Vader that the emperor is calling him. Where is he?
Random Stormtrooper: He's in the half men/half machine bathroom. That's next to the half girl/half machine bathroom.
*Needa enters the bathroom*
Needa: Lord Vader, the Emperor wants you to...
Vader: What are you doing here looking at me taking a shit! You're going to die!
Needa: No, sorry Lord Vader! Please accept my apologies!
*Vader force pushes Needa into a toilet and making him drown*
Vader: Apology accepted, Captain Needa.

Please post you opinions and/or more jokes!

This post has been edited by SithAvenger: 27 June 2005 - 03:07 AM

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#6 User is offline   Tpolg Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 08:43 AM

Luke: I am Luke Skywalker, I am here to rescue you.
Leia: Your who?
Luke: I am here to rescue you, I got you R2 unite, I am here with Bin Kenobi .
Leia: Who is Bin Kenobi? Is he related to Obi-Wan?
Owen Lars: That wizard is just a crazy old man.
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#7 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 06:13 PM

QUOTE (Tpolg @ Jun 27 2005, 09:43 AM)
Luke: I am Luke Skywalker, I am here to rescue you.
Leia: Your who?
Luke: I am here to rescue you, I got you R2 unite, I am here with Bin Kenobi .
Leia: Who is Bin Kenobi? Is he related to Obi-Wan?
Owen Lars: That wizard is just a crazy old man.


biggrin.gif
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#8 User is offline   diligent_d Icon

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Posted 27 June 2005 - 11:30 PM

"And the Oscar goes to...Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith."
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#9 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 28 June 2005 - 02:32 AM

Now that's really impossible... unles they make a FAKEST CGI award.
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#10 User is offline   Gord Icon

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Posted 29 June 2005 - 07:56 AM

QUOTE (SithAvenger @ Jun 28 2005, 04:32 PM)
Now that's really impossible... unles they make a FAKEST CGI award.


haahhahaha
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#11 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 29 June 2005 - 04:52 PM

QUOTE (diligent_d @ Jun 27 2005, 11:30 PM)
"And the Oscar goes to...Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith."


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#12 User is offline   SithAvenger Icon

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Posted 29 June 2005 - 04:57 PM

Announcer: And the award goes to.... George Lucas.
GL: GREAT! I want to thank the SW crew for never questioning my vision. I want to thank Ahmed Best for giving the greatest perfomance I've ever seen as Jar Jar Binks. And I want to thank Jonathan Hale for never questioning the dialogue in AOTC.
Anouncer: George, this is Razzie awards for the worst of the worst , not the Oscar awards.
GL: GAWD DAMN IT!

This post has been edited by SithAvenger: 29 June 2005 - 04:57 PM

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#13 User is offline   WalkingCarpet Icon

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Posted 30 June 2005 - 06:19 AM

How many Jedi's does it take to change a light bulb?



There is no need to change the light bulb, for the light bulb requires not to be changed. Simply change the world around the light bulb, for if you change your perspective of the light bulb, then you will realize that light is not a product of the bulb, merely a reflection of your own dependence on materialism. Much fear of the dark you still have, if on light bulbs, your mind is occupied.
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#14 User is offline   Hari Seldon Icon

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Posted 30 June 2005 - 10:07 AM

QUOTE (WalkingCarpet @ Jun 30 2005, 11:19 AM)
How many Jedi's does it take to change a light bulb?
There is no need to change the light bulb, for the light bulb requires not to be changed. Simply change the world around the light bulb, for if you change your perspective of the light bulb, then you will realize that light is not a product of the bulb, merely a reflection of your own dependence on materialism.  Much fear of the dark you still have, if on light bulbs, your mind is occupied.


That's so very matrix-the-spoon-isn't-bending-but-you-are. smile.gif
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#15 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 30 June 2005 - 12:26 PM

Why did the chicken cross the road?


Because he was headed for Dagobah.
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