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Salacious Crumb: We never really knew you

#1 User is offline   Ham Salad Icon

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Posted 12 July 2005 - 12:25 PM

So what is the backstory on Salacious Crumb, the fraggle on crack, that is so stoned out and enamored by Jaba's tail?
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#2 User is offline   georgelucas4greedo Icon

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Posted 12 July 2005 - 02:08 PM

He and Wald became leaders of the Tatooine Democracy Movement after the Clone Wars. Ultimatly, he was so disenfranchised by Wald that he did a lot of drugs. He doesnt even remember meeting Jabba and barely felt his fiery death.
It seems like everyone is over the nitpicking. Too bad.
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Posted 12 July 2005 - 02:46 PM

Well, here's the datbank entry for him:

Salacious Crumb

In the profile, they say he's a Kowakian monkey-lizard. Man, he doesn't look like a monkey-lizard to me.
Sorry, you won't be seeing a smartass sig here. Try with the next poster.
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#4 User is offline   Ham Salad Icon

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Posted 12 July 2005 - 06:59 PM

Goddamnned death sticks, even a Kowakian monkey lizard can't escape their addicting grasp!
Why can't GL explore the characters more, give us some background, let us get to know them? There was so much potential with Crumb.
I think he wrote comic books and had a hard-on for fat chicks. No wait that's his brother Roger.
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Posted 13 July 2005 - 04:10 AM

Salacious B. Crumb was once a wise and powerful Jedi. Over 1100 years old, his first act as Jedi Master was to take on and train a mysterious young padawan named Yoda.

However, one fateful afternoon, on an ambassadorial mission to Naboo, Crumb was the victim of an ambush by the insular and xenophobic race, the Gungans. An up-and-coming Gungan senator called Boss Nass ordered for Crumb to be executed for some reason.

But help was at hand. A young Jar-Jar Binks, who had just finished building a protoype astromech droid which he called R2-D2, aided Crumb in escaping from his cell through the planet core.

Crumb fled to Tatooine where he lived in exile from the Jedi order, unable to face the shame of returning to Coruscant with such a god-awful creature as Binks. Crumb lived a hermit's life in a cave near Mos Espa, where he learned the secrets of immortality, and also jestering, from a deceased Kowakian Monkey-Lizard by the name of Crappy T. Merchandise.

One day, while demonstrating his newly-acquired force-juggling skills to a young Tatooinian couple, Derek Plageuis and Shmi Skywalker, he was kidnapped by vile gangster Jabba the Hutt and taken back to his sail barge, where he was forced to entertain Jabba's mob and torture prisoners with his force-squeal.

Sensing a disturbance in the force, Jar-Jar flew to Tatooine to attempt a daring rescue, aided by Chewbacca, Lando Calrissian, Bossk, Ensign Ozzel and a foetal Anakin Skywalker, but Crumb decided he was happier where he was.
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#6 User is offline   Ham Salad Icon

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Posted 13 July 2005 - 05:30 AM

QUOTE (WalkingCarpet @ Jul 13 2005, 04:10 AM)
Crumb fled to Tatooine where he lived in exile from the Jedi order, unable to face the shame of returning to Coruscant with such a god-awful creature as Binks.  Crumb lived a hermit's life in a cave near Mos Espa, where he learned the secrets of immortality, and also jestering, from a deceased Kowakian Monkey-Lizard by the name of Crappy T. Merchandise.



Finally, a subplot from Star Wars that I can believe. Crappy T Merchandise is definitely a name lifted from GL's Star Wars Crappy Creatures Name Book, but Kenner rejected it and all the scenes with Salacious and Crappy landed on the editing room floor. Expect them in one of the 40 or more planned DVD re-releases.
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#7 User is offline   xenduck Icon

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Posted 13 July 2005 - 12:49 PM

QUOTE (WalkingCarpet @ Jul 13 2005, 04:10 AM)
Salacious B. Crumb was once a wise and powerful Jedi.  Over 1100 years old, his first act as Jedi Master was to take on and train a mysterious young padawan named Yoda.

However, one fateful afternoon, on an ambassadorial mission to Naboo, Crumb was the victim of an ambush by the insular and xenophobic race, the Gungans.  An up-and-coming Gungan senator called Boss Nass ordered for Crumb to be executed for some reason. 

But help was at hand.  A young Jar-Jar Binks, who had just finished building a protoype astromech droid which he called R2-D2, aided Crumb in escaping from his cell through the planet core. 

Crumb fled to Tatooine where he lived in exile from the Jedi order, unable to face the shame of returning to Coruscant with such a god-awful creature as Binks.  Crumb lived a hermit's life in a cave near Mos Espa, where he learned the secrets of immortality, and also jestering, from a deceased Kowakian Monkey-Lizard by the name of Crappy T. Merchandise.

One day, while demonstrating his newly-acquired force-juggling skills to a young Tatooinian couple, Derek Plageuis and Shmi Skywalker, he was kidnapped by vile gangster Jabba the Hutt and taken back to his sail barge, where he was forced to entertain Jabba's mob and torture prisoners with his force-squeal.

Sensing a disturbance in the force, Jar-Jar flew to Tatooine to attempt a daring rescue, aided by Chewbacca, Lando Calrissian, Bossk, Ensign Ozzel and a foetal Anakin Skywalker, but Crumb decided he was happier where he was.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA-HHAHAHHAHAHA *rolls around crying* HAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHAH oh stop, it hurts! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
Officer! officer! quick! all my money was stolen by a man in flannel!
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#8 User is offline   diligent_d Icon

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Posted 13 July 2005 - 12:53 PM

That was great! biggrin.gif
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Posted 13 July 2005 - 03:54 PM

did you guy's read the official SW character profile...

it may as well have said: "watch the movie!"
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Posted 13 July 2005 - 04:27 PM

Crumb was more of a setpiece than a character in the movie...which is why it is up to us to create a proper backstory for him! I think he is the dwarfed love child of Sebulba and Obi-Wan's lizard-steed!
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