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My Thoughts on the Reasons, Pt. 2 I like big rebutts and I cannot lie.

#1 User is offline   Doctor X Icon

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Posted 14 June 2005 - 03:56 AM

In case you missed part 1, I was having trouble logging in that day, so posted it under another name here: http://www.chefelf.c...?showtopic=3477

Reason #11
Count Dooku
It is an unusual choice to put a climactic lightsaber battle at the very beginning of a Star Wars movie, however, there it is.

True. However, we DO have to wrap up the Count Dooku plot thread pretty quickly here. Plus, it's Christopher Lee, man. Gotta take him out quick or his very presence will upstage Surfer Dude Christiansen for the rest of the film and the audience would be going "Why does Putz Boy get to be Vader? Keep Christopher Lee around!"

Apparently 100% of the cutting remarks used in the lightsaber battle were taken directly from the back cover of The Beginner's Dictionary of Cliché Cutting Remarks For Sword Fighters, First Printing.

Which was written by...Christopher Lee! I've heard that it's in Ahnold's contract that he gets a million dollars for every one-liner he uses in a film, because they never know what might become the next "I'll be back" or "Hasta La Vista, Baby." Knowing that, I won't begrudge Christopher Lee's making a few bucks off lines that he probably owns the copyright on anyway. (I believe he gets 10 bucks every time someone in a film says "You'll never get away with this.")

Reason #12
Obi-Wan's Lack of Injury

His midichlorians grew him new ones. That's why he apparently ages 50 years between now and Episode IV.

Ok, ya got me on this one. He should have at least had to spend a few hours in a bacta tank huffing ether.

Reason #13
"I shouldn't have done that..."

Another good place for that "Wah-Wah-Wah-WAAAAHHH!!!" sound from Sesame Street. The one they play when Cookie Monster finally goes nuts and gobbles the cookies up.

Reason #14
Gravity? Which Way Is Down In Space?
I think it's pretty commonly accepted knowledge that space is without gravity. However, when General Grievous's ship has "stabilizer problems," it suddenly goes into a nose dive above Coruscant.

Yeah, but there's precedent for this, like when the Executor nose-dived into the Death Star at the Battle of Endor. Not saying it's not bad science, just that it's consistent with the setting.

This raises an interesting question: how was the artificial gravity being created on this ship in the first place?

With Industrial Light and Magic.

Reason #15
Vacuum of Space?
Not only does Grievous destroy the ship's quarter inch thick portal window by simply tossing a stick at it -- a portal that is designed to sustain the ship against the cold vacuum of space, mind you -- but the common myth of science fiction is perpetuated. After knocking out a window in space, it just gets really windy and there is only what can best be described as "a light sucking."

The science aside, why would the droid army even need a pressurized bridge on a ship with an all-droid crew? The only reason for even having a viewscreen would BE so that if the bridge takes a hit, the crew gets sucked out by the big Science Fiction Vacuum.

Reason #16
"Another Happy Landing."
I wonder if the few thousand people in that command tower you just demolished would appreciate the humor in that. Yes, most of them are probably dead, but maybe that joke could get a chuckle out of some of the mangled survivors.

Maybe his midichlorians told him that there was an as-yet undetected reactor leak in that tower and that everyone was doomed to die a slow death by radiation poisoning already. Or that they were just CGI people. Or...maybe I got nothing here.

Reason #17
The Millennium Falcon

Ok, no arguement here, so let me go off on a tangent. A friend who's even a bigger Star Wars nut than me was searching online some time before Episode I came out for technical specs on the Falcon, and one phrase he read to me (Wish I knew where the site was to link it.) just struck me:

"Pete has always been fascinated by the mandibles."

I kept picturing Pete holding one of the little Micro Machines Falcons and gazing in awe and wonder. This became a thing with me for a while, and I could oft be heard saying things like "Harvey Winthorpe of Pocatello, Idaho waxes poetical and sings songs and stories of the landing gear" or "Jeffrey Lewis of Federal Way, Washington beats his fists bloody and shouts at God in his unfair heaven over the gangplank."

Reason #18
Anakin and Obi-Wan's Chummy Antics

It feels forced (pardon the pun) because it is. I'm sure that as they began filming, Lucas came out of his dazed memories of the 50s and went "Shit! Rapport, people! We need rapport somewhere in this film!"

Reason #19
Anakin and Padme in the Shadows
Then she explains to the audience, once again, why it's bad that they are married so that you can be reminded of all that Jedi nonsense about not falling in love that they made up in Attack of the Clones.

I won't defend bad expository dialogue. C'mon, George! All through the last two films, you've operated on the assumption that everyone has seen the first trilogy. If we're in this deep, we know how we got here by now!

Padme then tells Anakin that she is pregnant. Anakin does a half-assed job of pretending that he's happy about this and then, after realizing he's done such a poor job, tries to make himself sound better by lying and saying, "This is the happiest moment of my life."

I'm just going to chalk this up to the acting abilities of Hayden S. Christensen, Esquire.

Reason #20
I've always been distracted by the way there doesn't seem to be a set pronunciation for specific characters' names. Sure, people could mispronounce others' names in real life, but once you knew someone and were friends with them for several years, wouldn't you learn the correct way to pronounce their name and have some respect for it?

As someone whose real first and last name are tricky to spell and/or pronounce, I'm going to have to say "No." My last name is only six letters, there's one vowel, and it repeats, but people still seem to need to add an extra syllable or two. (I also have a friend whose last name is Bolte, and the "e" IS supposed to be pronounced, but I slip up once in a while, too.)

#2 User is offline   Hari Seldon Icon

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Posted 15 June 2005 - 07:26 PM

QUOTE (Doctor X @ Jun 14 2005, 08:56 AM)
This raises an interesting question: how was the artificial gravity being created on this ship in the first place?

With Industrial Light and Magic.

Hahahahaha! biggrin.gif
"I prefer rationalism to atheism. The question of God and other objects-of-faith are outside reason and play no part in rationalism, thus you don't have to waste your time in either attacking or defending."

Isaac Asimov

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