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91 Reasons to Hate Episode III Revenge of the Sith Articles Have Begun!

#1 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 11:41 AM

Okay, it's started. Reasons 1-10 are up of my new articles:

91 Reasons to Hate: Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

First article was up June 6, 2005. More articles to follow on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, depending on how fast I can get it all wrapped up. Everything is still a work in progress at this point, I just put them up as early as possible to stop the floods of emails and requests. wink.gif

Post all comments here. smile.gif
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#2 User is offline   Karig Icon

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Post icon  Posted 06 June 2005 - 12:45 PM

Reason #10: R2-fu. blink.gif Suddenly R2-D2 is The Street Fighter. wacko.gif

That sounds even worse than R2's suddenly figuring out how to fly in the droid factory in AOTC.
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#3 User is offline   Michel Orla Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 01:38 PM

Who exactly are the heroes on the other side? Count Dooku? Nute Gunray? Presumably the other side's hero was that battle droid that said "Roger, roger!"

laugh.gif My thoughts exactly. It wouldn't be Lucas if inane and stupid things were'nt said. And to start the crawl with War! is pretty stupid considering the title of the damn movie is Star WARS. Im surprised he didnt insert the Jedi's are heros of the Jedi order...

There were only a few types of ships and the viewer was more than capable of knowing, at any point, who was who Yep.....it was one big blur....Lucas seems to forget the reason we liked the space battles in the PT was because we knew who was on which side

The space battle that opens Revenge of the Sith is impressive but meaningless. It's like watching a swarm of bumblebees simultaneously masturbate while singing "We Are The Champions" - impressive, but nonsensical. Summed up very nicely

Bascially I agreed and laughed my ass off with everything you said (despite liking the movie)...the hard part now will be waiting for more...Please hurry!

This post has been edited by Michel Orla: 06 June 2005 - 01:39 PM

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#4 User is offline   Vwing Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 01:56 PM

So far it's great. My favorite line was "In regards to R2-D2 flying, the only thing that seems to make sense is this: Maybe R2 could fly because he believed in himself. But after the rise of the Empire, he lost his faith that magical things are possible." That was classic.

I'll probably have the most fun with these after the first 30 minutes, because despite really liking the rest of the movie, I really did not like the first 30 minutes. But I'm sure it'll all be great, as usual, though it's unfortunate that liking it so will probably make them just a bit less enjoyable for me. Ah well. Give and take. I enjoy the movie, I won't enjoy the reasons as much. It's the nature of the universe.
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#5 User is offline   Private Zod Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 02:30 PM

Glad to see them up. I liked how you stated in the prologue that these are really more of "Observations" than things "You Hate."


The first paragraph of the scroll really did make no sense. The only explanation to the Grievous cough was in the final Clone Wars cartoon Mace injured his chest.

Bummer that we will have to wait 2 months before it is done!

Agreed big time with VWing. Since I enjoyed this film far more than the first two, I won't agree so much with the Reasons like I did. Does not mean I won't enjoy them!

This post has been edited by Private Zod: 06 June 2005 - 02:33 PM

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:20 PM

Because you practically requested it...


QUOTE (Theodor Herzl)
If you will it, it is no dream.
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#7 User is offline   KurganX Icon

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Post icon  Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:40 PM

ChefElf, hi there, long time viewer, first time poster! Had problems with registering because my email viewer of choice (Eudora) didn't display the full instructions for validation (half the words are missing!), but I finally just did it in webmail in my browser and I figured it out.

Anyway, I found an error on your 1-10 list of for ROTS ("Reasons to Hate"). This isn't a "nitpick of a nitpick" but rather a correction.

QUOTE
In Revenge of the Sith, R2 shoots out a jagged drill that punctures the "heart" of one of the battle droids, spewing forth what appears to be crude oil in a gory scene of horror. Both droids begin slipping in the "blood" and R2 ignites his mystery jets which starts a blaze that broils the two droids alive. This, of course, met with thunderous applause in the theater, which was apparently populated almost entirely with simpletons. It is interesting to note that at no other point in the movie does a droid bleed oil. Presumably, the lightsabers must cauterize droid wounds as well as human wounds.


I've seen the film twice now, but I can tell you this isn't what happens at all. He doesn't drill into either of the Super Battle Droids, rather the "oil" comes shooting out of a spout on R2 himself. This is clear when you watch the scene (the oil isn't spraying out of the BD, but out of R2). The scene isn't mentioned in the novel at all, and in the screenplay (from what I've seen) puts it thusly:

QUOTE
(35)
ARTOO activates his oil hose and sprays the SUPER BATTLE DROIDS. The SUPER BATTLE DROIDS slip on the oil.
....
(37)
ARTOO ignites his arm rockets and shoots out of their grip, spraying them both with oil and setting them on fire. The SUPER BATTLE DROIDS slip and slide until they fall, smoldering. ARTOO rolls away.


In the movie he only sprays one with oil, and then jets away, with both getting caught up in the flames (and bursting!).

The only time we ever see "droid blood" is in the Republic Commando video game. It's purple, btw. wink.gif

I noticed ROTS has perhaps the longest instance of Yoda "speaking correctly" of any of the movies. I could be wrong though (might be tied with TPM).


Just by the sheer number of nitpicks, some people could come to the conclusion that you actually thought TPM was the best of the prequels (and you hated AOTC more and ROTS the most) but you say these are really more like "observations" rather than "reasons to hate" so I'm not assuming that. Good luck! wink.gif



PS: This is old, but on your TPM page, I think you're confusing "Wald," the fat little Rodian (greedo type alien) that is Anakin's friend on Tatooine, with young Greedo.
In the TPM feature film, Greedo never appears, however...

On the TPM DVD we DO see that deleted scene where little Annie fights young Greedo, and Greedo is clearly tall and skinny compared to short fat Wald (they're even in the same scene together so clearly not the same person). However, I get the joke, and I like the "three of Chewbacca himself" in the Senate one. wink.gif

PPS: A spell/grammar might be in order on that page too (ROTS). No offense, I know you're still working on it!

This post has been edited by KurganX: 06 June 2005 - 03:48 PM

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:48 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Jun 6 2005, 11:41 AM)
Okay, it's started.  Reasons 1-10 are up of my new articles:

91 Reasons to Hate: Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

First article was up June 6, 2005.  More articles to follow on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, depending on how fast I can get it all wrapped up.  Everything is still a work in progress at this point, I just put them up as early as possible to stop the floods of emails and requests.  wink.gif

Post all comments here.  smile.gif


"War! What Is It Good For"

- I actually liked the beginning exclamation, but that's definitely just me. "Heroes on both sides" is pretty silly, but wouldn't be so silly if the war itself were between more than a bunch of mostly-nameless disposable clones and droids.

"R2 Leaps Out of Ship"

- I cringed when I saw this too - both times. The only explanation I have is that his droid cradle has an ejection mechanism for situations in which astromechs cannot be unloaded, but that is still stupid, because it involves throwing a 300 lb droid with no damage expected. I'd like to see someone throw their computer and see how well it works afterwards. While we're talking about astromechs and how they fit in ships, is it just me, or does it seem like the ship that Anakin flies to see Padme after attacking the Jedi HQ should not be able to hold a droid? Maybe it's an optical illusion, but when they show the ship docked on the balcony (when R2 is telling 3PO that Anakin is acting strange, and 3PO is making more excuses for him like a PT/George Lucas apologist), you see the top of R2, but it seems like his bottom should be sticking out of the bottom of the wing side carriage because it is so thin. Let me know if you agree or disagree with this.

"It is also worthy of noting how bizarre it is that Grievous coughs as much as he does, considering he doesn't appear to have any lungs."

- When Kenobi had his final fight with Grievous, didn't he reveal some organs in Grievous' chest cavity? They looked like lungs to me.

"In Revenge of the Sith, R2 shoots out a jagged drill that punctures the "heart" of one of the battle droids, spewing forth what appears to be crude oil in a gory scene of horror. Both droids begin slipping in the "blood" and R2 ignites his mystery jets which starts a blaze that broils the two droids alive. This, of course, met with thunderous applause in the theater, which was apparently populated almost entirely with simpletons. It is interesting to note that at no other point in the movie does a droid bleed oil. Presumably, the lightsabers must cauterize droid wounds as well as human wounds."

- Does R2 really drill one of the battle droids? Maybe I saw it wrong, but it looked to me like he was jizzing his own private supply of oil at them. He has been shown that he can squirt in the past (the mud on Degobah), so maybe I was just connecting those two events in my mind, but I swear he used a little spray nozzle to shoot oil, not a drill to pop an oil tank. I'd like to know what other people saw. Also, I'll probably be going to see the movie again later this week, so I'll keep an eye out. BTW - the scene is still over the top, especially when the jets come in, so I guess I am just being really nitpicky.


So yeah, those are my thoughts. I love your first ten reasons, other than my comments here, and can't wait to see the next batch.
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#9 User is offline   andy_k_250 Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:50 PM

QUOTE (KurganX @ Jun 6 2005, 03:40 PM)
ChefElf, hi there, long time viewer, first time poster! Had problems with registering because my email viewer of choice (Eudora) didn't display the full instructions for validation (half the words are missing!), but I finally just did it in webmail in my browser and I figured it out.

Anyway, I found an error on your 1-10 list of for ROTS ("Reasons to Hate"). This isn't a "nitpick of a nitpick" but rather a correction.
I've seen the film twice now, but I can tell you this isn't what happens at all. He doesn't drill into either of the Super Battle Droids, rather the "oil" comes shooting out of a spout on R2 himself. This is clear when you watch the scene (the oil isn't spraying out of the BD, but out of R2). The scene isn't mentioned in the novel at all, and in the screenplay (from what I've seen) puts it thusly:
In the movie he only sprays one with oil, and then jets away, with both getting caught up in the flames (and bursting!).

The only time we ever see "droid blood" is in the Republic Commando video game. It's purple, btw. wink.gif

I noticed ROTS has perhaps the longest instance of Yoda "speaking correctly" of any of the movies. I could be wrong though (might be tied with TPM).
Just by the sheer number of nitpicks, some people could come to the conclusion that you actually thought TPM was the best of the prequels (and you hated AOTC more and ROTS the most) but you say these are really more like "observations" rather than "reasons to hate" so I'm not assuming that. Good luck! wink.gif
PS: This is old, but on your TPM page, I think you're confusing "Wald," the fat little Rodian (greedo type alien) that is Anakin's friend on Tatooine, with young Greedo.
In the TPM feature film, Greedo never appears, however...

On the TPM DVD we DO see that deleted scene where little Annie fights young Greedo, and Greedo is clearly tall and skinny compared to short fat Wald (they're even in the same scene together so clearly not the same person). However, I get the joke, and I like the "three of Chewbacca himself" in the Senate one. wink.gif

PPS: A spell/grammar might be in order on that page too (ROTS). No offense, I know you're still working on it!


You beat me to the oil spraying!
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#10 User is offline   Storm Shadow Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:50 PM

Geez this is really forced Chef. You make a few points but with the AOTC review I was nodding in agreement with almost every point....you have freakin 3/4's of the 1st 10 complaints about R2!! Come on. You could have condensed all that into one long "I wish it was 1980 again so R2 couldnt fly or do anything besides roll along like a good midget in a tin can" reason to hate.

i agree about the "heroes on both sides thing"....the fuck is that about, Lucas?
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#11 User is offline   andy_k_250 Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Jun 6 2005, 11:41 AM)
Okay, it's started.  Reasons 1-10 are up of my new articles:

91 Reasons to Hate: Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

First article was up June 6, 2005.  More articles to follow on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, depending on how fast I can get it all wrapped up.  Everything is still a work in progress at this point, I just put them up as early as possible to stop the floods of emails and requests.  wink.gif

Post all comments here.  smile.gif


By the way, I forgot to mention that I love the introduction that you wrote for the ROTS Reasons To Hate entry page. Really puts everything into perspective, acknowledges the end the SW saga, etc... Nice.
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#12 User is offline   KurganX Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:52 PM

Whoa man, you caught me having the same thought!

The "drill" idea would certainly have been darker, but there you go. He's just spraying, not drilling. So no droid blood.

Perhaps it's rocket fuel? And he used up the last of it when he jetted to the ground afterwards.

And after the Battle of Yavin he was all bashed up and totalled, he probably lost most of his gadgets and memory then and got rebuilt as just your basic Astromech with some memory loss. Yeah, that would explain a lot....! wink.gif

Hehe

Edit: to aide in the speed of proofreading, here's the specific correction that I had in mind from the ROTS reasons 1-10 (so far the only one we can view):

QUOTE
Reason #2
Opening Battle
Revenge of the Sith breaks form by being bt not start underneath a starship of some sort.


Did you mean "Revenge of the Sith breaks form by not starting out underneath a starship of some sort" ? To nitpick even further, AOTC is the only one of the SW films to scroll UP instead of down after the scroll ends.

Also, I miss the asterisks in the other articles, as in things you actually liked (only TPM seems to have them). The various categories of stuff in the SE nitpicks pages were great. Rather than bashing everything or not ranking them like some people did, you made it a lot more interesting to read (and fun).

This post has been edited by KurganX: 06 June 2005 - 03:56 PM

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#13 User is offline   Private Zod Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 04:07 PM

QUOTE (KurganX @ Jun 6 2005, 03:40 PM)
Just by the sheer number of nitpicks, some people could come to the conclusion that you actually thought TPM was the best of the prequels (and you hated AOTC more and ROTS the most) but you say these are really more like "observations" rather than "reasons to hate" so I'm not assuming that. Good luck! wink.gif



I think Chefelf described the amount in ROTS as that there were just so much more going on as opposed to the other films, there are more things to critique. I find it hard to believe that anyone thinks that ROTS was the worse of the prequels.
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#14 User is offline   diligent_d Icon

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Posted 06 June 2005 - 04:14 PM

Nice work. Looking forward to the next batch.
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Posted 06 June 2005 - 05:33 PM

Good work, Chefelf. Your Reason to Hate articles were the things that brought be here in the first place, so I'm pleased to see ROTS finally making an appearence. I can't wait for the rest.
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