[Mnesymone]

Thank you, for my part.
I enjoyed that one.

[Cyclonian]

Yeh I know it was a joke thread, but I posted it anyway to see your reaction . Kindly do not patronise me.

[Mnesymone]

If he remade it from scratch, I would burn down Skywalker ranch.
Sorry if you found that patronising.

[Michel Orla]

Heck funny... and you still have the greatest avatar of all.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks.......And Despondant is right. This is one hell of a funny thread and everyone does a brilliant job of knowing exactly the kind of changes Lucas would do

[Mnesymone]

I didn't get to do Return of the Jedi!

The Rancor is faster, more agile, and comes out with two other monsters. The Jawas who egg on the rancor say "Ootini". Jabba is computer-generated, as are all the various monsters of the palace, including Sebulba and Boss Nass. Jabba says to Luke "why you remind me of a young pod racer called Anakin." The sail barge fight is fought between fifteen skiffs, which look like gunships and leia's fight with Jabba is actually a fifteen minute piece in which Leia, who as before is Natalie Portman, wears her dominatrix outfit from Episode II and whips Jabba to death, but when a clawed gangster scratches her he screams and the dress falls away to reveal the metal bikini. Artoo and Salacious crumb duel over the fallen threepio, who then climbs up the side of the sail barge (smooth and shiny of course) before he falls from the top. Rather than blindly stabbing Boba Fetts rocket pack, Han actually has a five minute blind fight with Boba (smooth and shiny like Jango) and culminates in him leaping between two skiffs to knock Boba Fett off course into the sarlacc. Towards the end of the fight the Sarlacc rises out of the desert and Leia throws her thermal detonator down its gullet and it goes off like the chaos god out of Hellboy. When the guy shoots luke's hand, after killing him, Luke says to Leia "since my hand got shot, I'm in agony." before they swing off to a giant gunship and fly out of there. Exiting, Leia falls from the ship and Luke has to kill Sandpeople to get her back. Yoda dies in a garbled homage to Shmi Skywalker dying and Obi-Wan tells the story of the prequels to Luke. The Rebel fleet, made of smooth and shiny ships, goes up against the Imperial fleet and the death star - the lightshow is so blinding that it'll give you an epileptic fit. The death star transforms into a robot like the giant robot out of the Transformers movie, and the Executor plunges through the robots heart.
The Ewoks fight with the shields and energy balls the gungans use, and there actually is a gungan army there as well. Chewbacca actually wrestles with the AT-ST, and when Leia is shot Han says "I won't let you die! I won't let you die!". When the shield generator goes off, there is a really big ring in the explosion. When Luke is brought before the Emperor, Luke force pushes the guards out of the way as he walks in. After having his spiel, Luke and Darth have a fight and thirteen grand war droids join in. Luke brings down Vader and then Palpatine launches a super grover attack on him with lightsaber and lightning and Vader then goes fisticuffs with him and hurls him down the lift shaft - he himself falls and they battle in the reactor core, and Vader escapes only when Lando in the Falcon torpedoes Palpatine. Vader climbs all the way up to the very edge but has trouble at the very top, and Luke delivers an impassioned "You were the chosen one! You brought the force into balance!" from the top of the shaft before Vader is devoured by the singeing flames of the reactor.
As the death star burns, Han and Leia make out with a rainbow behind them.

[Despondent]

[Mnesymone]

Genius.
Pure and simple.
(Custom Rank is within my grasp!)

[Despondent]

thanks.

Laughed good at your Jedi post, Symone.

[Michel Orla]

I didn't get to do Return of the Jedi!

The Rancor is faster, more agile, and comes out with two other monsters. The Jawas who egg on the rancor say "Ootini". Jabba is computer-generated, as are all the various monsters of the palace, including Sebulba and Boss Nass. Jabba says to Luke "why you remind me of a young pod racer called Anakin." The sail barge fight is fought between fifteen skiffs, which look like gunships and leia's fight with Jabba is actually a fifteen minute piece in which Leia, who as before is Natalie Portman, wears her dominatrix outfit from Episode II and whips Jabba to death, but when a clawed gangster scratches her he screams and the dress falls away to reveal the metal bikini. Artoo and Salacious crumb duel over the fallen threepio, who then climbs up the side of the sail barge (smooth and shiny of course) before he falls from the top. Rather than blindly stabbing Boba Fetts rocket pack, Han actually has a five minute blind fight with Boba (smooth and shiny like Jango) and culminates in him leaping between two skiffs to knock Boba Fett off course into the sarlacc. Towards the end of the fight the Sarlacc rises out of the desert and Leia throws her thermal detonator down its gullet and it goes off like the chaos god out of Hellboy. When the guy shoots luke's hand, after killing him, Luke says to Leia "since my hand got shot, I'm in agony." before they swing off to a giant gunship and fly out of there. Exiting, Leia falls from the ship and Luke has to kill Sandpeople to get her back. Yoda dies in a garbled homage to Shmi Skywalker dying and Obi-Wan tells the story of the prequels to Luke. The Rebel fleet, made of smooth and shiny ships, goes up against the Imperial fleet and the death star - the lightshow is so blinding that it'll give you an epileptic fit. The death star transforms into a robot like the giant robot out of the Transformers movie, and the Executor plunges through the robots heart.
The Ewoks fight with the shields and energy balls the gungans use, and there actually is a gungan army there as well. Chewbacca actually wrestles with the AT-ST, and when Leia is shot Han says "I won't let you die! I won't let you die!". When the shield generator goes off, there is a really big ring in the explosion. When Luke is brought before the Emperor, Luke force pushes the guards out of the way as he walks in. After having his spiel, Luke and Darth have a fight and thirteen grand war droids join in. Luke brings down Vader and then Palpatine launches a super grover attack on him with lightsaber and lightning and Vader then goes fisticuffs with him and hurls him down the lift shaft - he himself falls and they battle in the reactor core, and Vader escapes only when Lando in the Falcon torpedoes Palpatine. Vader climbs all the way up to the very edge but has trouble at the very top, and Luke delivers an impassioned "You were the chosen one! You brought the force into balance!" from the top of the shaft before Vader is devoured by the singeing flames of the reactor.
As the death star burns, Han and Leia make out with a rainbow behind them.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh man, that's excellent.

Sad thing is it might even be up to par with the original ROTJ.

The only thing I'd add is Han fondles Leia's breasts durng the kissing scene so Lucas can have the excuse to make it PG-13

And thats one hell of a funny picture Despondant

This post has been edited by Michel Orla: 26 May 2005 - 11:05 PM

[Bohrok Awakener]

The only OT-era Star Wars related thing that might actually be better if given the PT treatment is the Holiday Special. I don't think it could get any worse than it already is. Even basing the story around Jar Jar's family would have been better (because there would have been 10 minutes of characters speaking ENGLISH rather than Shryywook).

Anyway, THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: PT EDITION

1. When the probot crash-lands on Hoth, we see scenes of Nute Gunray (now working for the Empire) ordering Veers to "Activate the droids!". We are then treated to an agonisingly long CGI scene of the probot climbing out of it's space capsule, and we even get to see a far-away shot of Luke in "Probovision".

2. There are now thee times as many Star Destroyers, and each scene is cluttered with thousands of TIE fighters passing in front of the camera. CGI Imperial officers (really the ILM crew) have been added to the windows of the ship.

3. During the evacuation of Hoth, the X-wings and Rebel transports engage in a huge space battle with the Star Destroyers. Red 4, Captain Sleazebaggano, lands in the hanger bay of the Executor and leads a suicide mission to defeat Vader. We even get to see R4-P17 (Obi-Wan's droid from AOTC) take out some Stormtroopers (now called clone troopers).

4. General Grievous, reconstructed from his remains on Utapau, is now a real droid. He leads the attack on Hoth in his wheel bike. As he is about to run over Luke (who has just escaped from the 20-foot tall, CGI Wampa), Obi-Wan's spirit jumps in the way. Cue cheesy lines. Obi-Wan: "Hello there!". Grievous: "Jedi POODOO! I'm a real droid now!" *Cough cough*.

5. The AT-ATs are about twice as big as usual, armed with several Echo Base-edition ion cannons. The classic Imperial pilots are replaced with familiar senators from the PT, including everyone's favourite Easter Egg, E.T.

[Despondent]

I propose a new twist at the end of Sith!

"This one shall be a princess. Her name is 'Leia.'"

"and the boy, he shall be named 'Han Solo.'"