[BiggSpiffy]

very true, very true

[Jane Sherwood]

1. What is your name?
I am known by many names on many different websites, but mostly people call me...Sarah.

2. Where do you live?
Lake Charles, Louisiana during the summer and winter holidays, and Natchitoches, Louisiana during the school year.

3. What are your hobbies/interests?
Far, far too many to list here. Let's just say I'm a raving loony fangirl of many, many things/characters/people and leave it at that.

4. Do you have a girlfriend?
I could never have a girlfriend. Women are insane.

5. Do you have a boyfriend?
Er...let's just say I don't have the time or social skills to aquire one...

6. What is your social security number?
123-45-6789

7. What is your credit card number?
I don't even have a job. How could I handle a credit card?

8. Are you aware that your computer will run ten times as fast if you turn off all anti-virus software and deactivate all firewalls?
Yes, but I also know from experience that my computer will die a slow and painful death if I turn them off.

9. Do you know it has become socially acceptable to purchase an inflatable sheep?
No, but that also begs the question of "where" they buy said inflatible barnyard animals.

10. Would you like to purchase an inflatable sheep?
Sure! I can paint it black and give it evil eyes and tell people it's my Demon Attack Sheep!

11. Are you aware that you could be the 1000th person to answer this questionaire and could win one million dollars?
Piss off, or I'll stab you.

Power to the geeks, nerds, freaks, weirdos, utter loonies, etc.!

[BiggSpiffy]

so any new questions for biggy?

im just kiddin...i guess im a little anxious for something to talk about

This post has been edited by BiggSpiffy: 21 May 2005 - 08:40 AM

[Voodoo Dog]

Dear Mr. Chafulf members

We are delighted to hear of your interest in our products. The following questionaire is directed towards all members of Chafulf so we can do our very best to satisfy the needs of YOU, the consumer. Please feel free to answer at your leisure.

1. What are your sexual fetishes?
2. Have you ever had the slightest sexual thought about someone your own gender?
3. If you answered yes to the above and you are a woman, would you be interested in starring in various film projects we are planning?
4. Are you aware that starring in an erotic movie is GUARANTEED to be followed by a lucrative mainstream acting career in Hollywood?
5. Are you aware that we will prosecute any persons who react to the above two questions by throwing big fuckoff knives at us?
6. How frequently do you masturbate? Is it:

A. Often
B. Frequently
C. Extremely frequently

7. Are you aware that masturbation can lead to blindness?
8. Are you aware that you can prevent this unfortunate side-effect with the VD corporations patented GeniLube (TM all rights reserved)?
9. Are you aware that a 3 month supply of the above can be purchased from us for the low low price of $59.99?
10. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for pornographic pictures that your parents/guardians may have found on your hard drive?
11. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for illegal pornographic pictures that your local authorities may have found on your hard drive?
12. Are you concerned that 99% of Anti-virus software/firewall programs are created by microsoft enslaved blind Vietnamese orphans who work for a bowl of rice a day?

We look forward to a long and mutally rewarding relationship with the members of Chafulf.

And congratulations Mr. BoggSpaffy! You were the 1000th person to answer our original questionaire and your name has been entered into our monthly draw. If you win, you will be GUARANTEED to receive one of the following from us:

A. A check for $1,000,000
B. A fabulous all expenses paid vacation in Hawaii
C. An exquisite set of wooden spoons

Thank you. Have a nice day.

[BiggSpiffy]

Dear Mr. Chafulf members

We are delighted to hear of your interest in our products. The following questionaire is directed towards all members of Chafulf so we can do our very best to satisfy the needs of YOU, the consumer. Please feel free to answer at your leisure.

1. What are your sexual fetishes? dont got none...
2. Have you ever had the slightest sexual thought about someone your own gender?...thats just wrong
3. If you answered yes to the above and you are a woman, would you be interested in starring in various film projects we are planning? thats actually funny
4. Are you aware that starring in an erotic movie is GUARANTEED to be followed by a lucrative mainstream acting career in Hollywood?...not by males
5. Are you aware that we will prosecute any persons who react to the above two questions by throwing big fuckoff knives at us? yes 
6. How frequently do you masturbate? Is it: more like D. i dont feel like answering that

A. Often
B. Frequently
C. Extremely frequently

7. Are you aware that masturbation can lead to blindness? ...what is with all the sex questions?
8. Are you aware that you can prevent this unfortunate side-effect with the VD corporations patented GeniLube (TM all rights reserved)? ...you make your own products?
9. Are you aware that a 3 month supply of the above can be purchased from us for the low low price of $59.99? !RIP OFF!
10. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for pornographic pictures that your parents/guardians may have found on your hard drive? yes
11. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for illegal pornographic pictures that your local authorities may have found on your hard drive? yes
12. Are you concerned that 99% of Anti-virus software/firewall programs are created by microsoft enslaved blind Vietnamese orphans who work for a bowl of rice a day? yup

And congratulations Mr. BoggSpaffy! You were the 1000th person to answer our original questionaire and your name has been entered into our monthly draw. If you win, you will be GUARANTEED to receive one of the following from us:

A. A check for $1,000,000
B. A fabulous all expenses paid vacation in Hawaii
C. An exquisite set of wooden spoons

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

OH MY GOSH I WANT THE SPOONS!


...ok i have a quick question...if i made a picture out of wordarts in microsoft word, how do i make it into a picture file

This post has been edited by BiggSpiffy: 21 May 2005 - 11:46 AM

[Voodoo Dog]

Actually, it would already be a picture file, but I'll assume you meant how would you post it on Chefelf. You would have to go to imageshack or some place like that. I don't know much about it, but I have a nasty feeling you have to pay for the privilege. You can however, post any images that you find on the internet simply by sourcing the URL. If you have any further questions, the lobby probably aint the place to ask them. You should try the Tech Depot. If a thread isn't there already that is suitable for your question, feel free to start a new one. It's that kinda place. And you won't have to rely on idiots like me to answer your questions.

Has this thread beaten the record for the longest "new member introduces themselves" thread on Chefelf? If it hasn't yet, I'm pretty sure it will soon. Although I have no desire to blow my own cucumber, I'm pretty sure it was mainly me that has kept it alive so long. *smug*

[floppydisk]

How long did Kirby's last? I don't think it was this long.

[Kirby]

Oh you mean this one?

Yes you did beat me (barely), but that was just because you posted your's in the lobby while I posted mine in FR forums. If I posted it here then it would be somewhere in the mid 20s. So HA (kinda)

Oh and as a level 11 paladin I deal with necromancy with extreme prejeduce.

[floppydisk]

My paladin on Diablo II is lvl. 23. I'm on act III, and the cutscene for it was awesome!

[Chyld]

Fuck it, its not as if I don't need practise at answering inane quiz questions...

1. What are your sexual fetishes?
It entirely depends where you draw the line between "fetishes" and "turn ons..."

2. Have you ever had the slightest sexual thought about someone your own gender?
I've occasionly thought "wouldn't it be so much easier to be gay?", but that's more frustration at women than desire to impregnate men...

3. If you answered yes to the above and you are a woman, would you be interested in starring in various film projects we are planning?
Tactfully done there...

4. Are you aware that starring in an erotic movie is GUARANTEED to be followed by a lucrative mainstream acting career in Hollywood?
Really? Just a shame there's very little demand for male porn stars these days...
5. Are you aware that we will prosecute any persons who react to the above two questions by throwing big fuckoff knives at us?
That reminds me, where is my big fuckoff knife?

6. How frequently do you masturbate? Is it:
A. Often
B. Frequently
C. Extremely frequently

Well, my best "get out of this question" tactic is the grounds of vagueness. One mans frequent is another mans rarely.

7. Are you aware that masturbation can lead to blindness?
Old wives, my lad, old wives.

8. Are you aware that you can prevent this unfortunate side-effect with the VD corporations patented GeniLube (TM all rights reserved)?
...I refuse to comment.

9. Are you aware that a 3 month supply of the above can be purchased from us for the low low price of $59.99?
OR if I ever needed lube, I see if my staff discount in the pharmacy still counts...

10. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for pornographic pictures that your parents/guardians may have found on your hard drive?
This is why I ran away to university, they can't check for it...

11. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for illegal pornographic pictures that your local authorities may have found on your hard drive?
Perhaps, but my tastes don't stray into the illegal...

12. Are you concerned that 99% of Anti-virus software/firewall programs are created by microsoft enslaved blind Vietnamese orphans who work for a bowl of rice a day?
Wouldn't suprise me in the least...

[Slade]

What? Blind programmers? That wouldn't work out well at all. You'd waste all of the money spent not paying them on having people who could see debug the stuff. Unless you just released it and said the hell with it.

[Jane Sherwood]

1. What are your sexual fetishes?
What is this thing you hu-mans call "fetishes"?

2. Have you ever had the slightest sexual thought about someone your own gender?
A full resounding "Nope" to that question.

3. If you answered yes to the above and you are a woman, would you be interested in starring in various film projects we are planning?
Repeat.

4. Are you aware that starring in an erotic movie is GUARANTEED to be followed by a lucrative mainstream acting career in Hollywood?
No, and I'm not interested either way.

5. Are you aware that we will prosecute any persons who react to the above two questions by throwing big fuckoff knives at us?
Hmmmm...that's a good point. It's a good thing I have a shovel, a tazer, and a specially designed light saber as back-up weapons of choice.

6. How frequently do you masturbate? Is it:

A. Often
B. Frequently
C. Extremely frequently
D. None of the above.

7. Are you aware that masturbation can lead to blindness?
That's a myth. I'm nearly blind and it's sure as hell not from masturbation.

8. Are you aware that you can prevent this unfortunate side-effect with the VD corporations patented GeniLube (TM all rights reserved)?
I'll tell you what you can do with that lube of yours, laddie...

9. Are you aware that a 3 month supply of the above can be purchased from us for the low low price of $59.99?
Do you know what else I could spend that on? Three, count them, three DVDs!

10. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for pornographic pictures that your parents/guardians may have found on your hard drive?
And why would they be looking on my computer in the first place?

11. Do you know that spyware is extremely useful as an excuse for illegal pornographic pictures that your local authorities may have found on your hard drive?
Repeat.

12. Are you concerned that 99% of Anti-virus software/firewall programs are created by microsoft enslaved blind Vietnamese orphans who work for a bowl of rice a day?
I'm going to hurt you.

[Kirby]

9. Are you aware that a 3 month supply of the above can be purchased from us for the low low price of $59.99?
Do you know what else I could spend that on? Three, count them, three DVDs!

Where ever you're going to get DVD's you are getting cheated. Jesus, look in a dollar store you can get quality (B)movies for the price of a buck apeice. I thought kids in college were good at budgeting.

[Slade]

I'll budget you right in the face!

Not really, I just felt like saying that.

[Mnesymone]

Voodoo Dog... your questionnaires are verging on the dangerous side of deviant.