[J m HofMarN]

I'm a fan of Anne Rice's vampire novels. That is to say I WAS a fan of Anne Rice's vampire novels before she WENT FUGGING INSANE! Regardless, it kind of interested me to find that our English expatriate compatriot Croshaw had reviewed some of her other madness

I've never read her word-porn, and now I know why. Apparently the plot of these books is contrived soley for the purpose of giving people excuses to shove things into holes or spank asses. I noticed that Rice enjoyed weird, weird stuff (Lestat's nunfucking, the senior citizen homosexual bang, the vampire spanking/ass licking,) but I never quite put together how weird she was until I read Yahtzee's article.

Bravo mate.

[Rhubarb]

I would just like to clarify that those books, the Roquelaure 'Beauty' trilogy, are actually mine. I've owned them for years. And yes, they are truly... special. I swear to god that I always thought they were intentionally humorous. There was no fucking way, I reasoned, that someone could write this stuff and not laugh while they were doing it. The same reasoning I applied to her incest-packed 'Lasher the sexy demon' trilogy. Convinced as I was that Anne Rice was a grossly misunderstood subtle comic genius, I was honestly flabbergasted the day I discovered she took herself 100% seriously. It was like discovering that Tolkien was actually just making fun of D&D nerds. Something inside me died that day.

And speaking of insanity, have you read the infamous Amazon exchange? Check the reader reviews. Yes, that is Anne Rice herself. And yes, she's ranting at readers who criticised her work, leaving no detail unchallenged, however small, and spitting personal attacks left and right. I thought I could rant. I thought I was hardcore. People, I am nothing.

However there is something compelling about Amazon's willingness to publish just about anything, and the sheer outrageous stupidity of many things you've said here that actually touches my proletarian and Democratic soul.

And you have strained my Dickensean principles to the max. I'm justifiably proud of being read by intellectual giants and waitresses in trailer parks,in fact, I love it, but who in the world are you?

your stupid arrogant assumptions about me and what I am doing are slander…you have used this site as if it were a public urinal to publish falsehoods and lies.

There are readers out there and plenty of them who cherish the individuality of each of the chronicles which you so flippantly condemn. They can and do talk circles around you. And I am warmed by their response. Their letters, the papers they write in school, our face to face exchanges on the road -- these things sustain me when I read the utter trash that you post.

Fucking beautiful. Brings a tear to my eye.

This post has been edited by Rhubarb: 30 April 2005 - 03:24 AM

[J m HofMarN]

She mentions Lestat talking to the pope. THE FUGGING POPE. He was raping nuns a few books ago and now hes talking to the pope. That dosnt make him holy or anything, its not symbolic to me, but Lestat dont talk to no pope. I dont care what Rice says. I think Lestat could talk to the pope if he ever wanted to, since hes like a living god and all, but... blarg its just wrong! I am so glad I stopped at Blackwood Farm!

[Rhubarb]

I am so glad I remember so very little about the first in the series, the only Vampire novel I ever read. What little I do remember still nibbles away at me inside, like a cancer.

[MacGyver's Mullet]

I'm so glad I um... never read any Anne Rice book ever? Yeah, that'll do.

In fact the only thing I've ever read by her was that Amazon rant. Well, fair fucks to her for at least taking on her anonymous critics. Provided a few minutes entertainment for me anyway.

[Laughlyn]

In part Annes rant was justified. Some people confessed that they'd published bad reviews without ever even having read the book in question.

[Rhubarb]

Some people confessed that they'd published bad reviews without ever even having read the book in question.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...and loads of people still said their complaints were spot on. :D

It's Anne Rice. She's predictable as fuck. I could make up a whole list of problems with her new book without ever having touched it, and I'd be right.

And yeah, I'm being a hypocrite, but it's fucking Anne Rice.

[Jane Sherwood]

I don't think I've ever given enough of a damn to do anything beyond watching Interview With A Vampire, and that was mainly only because my mother didn't want me to watch the theater scene when I was thirteen.

[Laughlyn]

If it were an author I like might object, however I did smile when I first heard the news. Further proof of Anne's stupidity can be found in the fact that she actually liked queen of the damned.

Or her eyes justlit up with dollar signs when she thought of all the pale skinned goth wannabes queuing at the cimena.

[Slade]

Maybe she has stock in Hot Topic?

[J m HofMarN]

Oh dont even mention QotD it was the best of the vampire chronicles and they managed to boil it down to shit. Akasha's feminist plan to take over the world and kill the male population is now replaced by the traditional bloody stupid world domination scheme. The story of the twins (central to the plot) is utterly ignored. The backstories of ALL characters are ignored. Lestat's HAIR COLOR CHANGES. And they make Marius his maker.

And Anne Rice claims she liked this? If someone had done that to my book I'd have had them and their families drug off to a castle and raped and spanked for the length of three novels. Just like in The Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice...

As for Rhubarbs comments about predictability, you couldn't really predict her work when it was good, but when people write poor novels you can easily imagine the next one will be bad as well. I mean having read Blackwood Farm I didnt want to subject myself to a novel that got worse reviews then it, and included the pope.

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 30 April 2005 - 11:55 PM

[civilian_number_two]

I read the opening pages of Interview with the Vampire, and that's as far as I could get. I felt like I was grading some creative writing project for the eighth grade. There was this man about to interview this Vampire, see, only we don't get to know his name. Fine, but when you do that, you introduce the guy in some way, so his non-identity is significant. As I recall, there wasn't even a description, just loads of this portentous "The man" (or was it "the boy?") shit. It was really weak; she was actually working hard to make sure even really dumb people clued in that we weren't going to get this guy's name or any information about him. I didn't hang on long enough to find out why this was important to her; I threw the book across the room.

I thought the Neal Jordan film was well-done, despite my reservations reagrding Tom Cruise. I was amused by Anne Rice's antics at that time: insisting first that a much-older actor should have been used and that the film was ruined, then later saying she loved Tom Cruise; writing a narrative that was defined by sexual attraction and then publicly decrying the overt sexuality of the film. Anyway, even though I found it to be well done, and full of some great ideas and images, I thought it was a pretty dull story.

[Rhubarb]

The Anne Rice Novel Hurling By Disgusted Reader Event should totally be an Olympic sport.

[SimeSublime]

I thought it was. Dammit, and I had a ticket for the 2008 games. Looks like I'm going to have to make some complaints.

[Brick McRunfast]

There's still hope, Sime. Keep practicing with that weighted copy of Blackwood Farm, and someday your dreams may come true.