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Boston Herald blurb...more bad news R2-D2 is.... *will spoil disgust*

#1 User is offline   Just another wretched fan Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 12:56 AM

R2-D2 is a fucking ACTION HERO?


Saw this in my local newspaper.

Boston Herald ROTS article

here's what i'm talking about:
QUOTE
MARIN COUNTY, Calif. - Anakin is a lot stronger, R2-D2 becomes an unlikely action hero and the latest - and final - ``Star Wars'' film may top its predecessors.


If that damn robot uses a lightsaber or a blaster or flies a fighter alone and gets some kills ....i'll....i'll....(help me out here...cry? i'm beyond that point now).

I like this quote:

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    ``It's for `Star Wars' fans. Otherwise,'' groused a critic, ``it's just ridiculous, with the same old light saber duels.''


and this is so true:
QUOTE
Best new creature:The flame-feathered giant reptile Obi Wan rides in battle. Look for it at your nearest toy shop

This post has been edited by Just another wretched fan: 06 May 2005 - 12:58 AM

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#2 User is offline   HK 47 Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 02:37 AM

Wouldn't get your hopes up concerning Artoo...

QUOTE
R2-D2 saves the lives of Anakin and Obi Wan (Ewan McGregor) several times as they pursue their mission to rescue a captive chancellor.


Apparently, critics were "mostly positive" about the whole deal. Since the screening was at Skywalker Ranch I can only imagine selective invitations or maybe free crack for all guests.
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#3 User is offline   Helena Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 05:07 AM

This is getting more insane every minute. R2-D2 is an astromech droid, not a combat droid. Having him help save the day in ANH was fine - he did exactly what he was supposed to, i.e. fix Luke's ship while it was under attack. But turning him into an action hero? yell.gif
QUOTE
The sandpeople had women and children. We know this because Anakin killed them how could he tell? The children might be smaller but I never saw a sandperson with breasts. Did they hike their skirts and show him some leg or something?

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Also, I can see the point of wanting to kidnap a human and use her as a slave, but they didn't. They tied her to a flimsy easel for a month. It's assumed they had to feed and give her water. What for? Was she purely ornamental? I can understand them wanting the droids, you can sell those for a lot of money, but a chick who's only skills are finding non-existand mushrooms and getting randomly pregnant, you're not going to get much.

- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
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#4 User is offline   Madam Corvax Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 07:31 AM

They are joking abou this "Baron Papanoida" stuff, right? Maybe this has been discussed before, but it's the first time I've heard about it...
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#5 User is offline   Helena Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 07:42 AM

QUOTE (Madam Corvax @ May 6 2005, 01:31 PM)
They are joking abou this "Baron Papanoida" stuff, right?  Maybe this has been discussed before, but it's the first time I've heard about it...

Nope, sorry - it's true. But can you believe some of the quotes from that article?

QUOTE
"It was beyond anything Lucas has ever done,'' said another.

"I really didn't believe the plot could get any more ludicrous, but somehow he managed it!"

QUOTE
Anakin (Hayden Christensen) is a lot tougher: He reveals in his first duel, "My powers have doubled since last we met.''

"Yes - back then I was only level 9, now I'm level 18!"
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The sandpeople had women and children. We know this because Anakin killed them how could he tell? The children might be smaller but I never saw a sandperson with breasts. Did they hike their skirts and show him some leg or something?

QUOTE
Also, I can see the point of wanting to kidnap a human and use her as a slave, but they didn't. They tied her to a flimsy easel for a month. It's assumed they had to feed and give her water. What for? Was she purely ornamental? I can understand them wanting the droids, you can sell those for a lot of money, but a chick who's only skills are finding non-existand mushrooms and getting randomly pregnant, you're not going to get much.

- J m HofMarN on the Sand People
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Posted 06 May 2005 - 07:51 AM

Helena, if you liked this article, I suggest you chech the film section of the Guardian, I posted a link in the "countdown calendar" thread. Gosh, it is a breath of fresh air to read some sound English reasoning after such gibberish.

R2D2 as an action hero can only be expected after his flying stunt in AOTC.

And my powers have doubled... yeah, that does sound like he doubled his experience poitns in a video game *giggles*

but Baron Paranoia... no this beats everything...
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#7 User is offline   Paladin Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 08:17 AM

R2D2 saves the good guys in some way at every movie. In ANH, he saves them from being crushed in the trash compactor AND he's actually one of the most vital characters in the whole movie... he was carrying the plans for the Death Star and he's the one who actually went to look for Obi-Wan after he managed to trick Luke into removing his restraining bolt.

In ESB, he unlocks several doors for Leia, Lando and Chewie to get through the cloud city and manages to fix the Hyperdrive in the end.

In ROTJ, he carries Luke's lightsaber and, towards the end of the movie, at least partially attempts to help out by hotwiring the door to the bunker... before he gets damaged by a blaster shot and is tomperorarly knocked out, (but he survives, thankfully).

In the TPM, he fixes the shield generator on the ship... but that really doesn't count, since it was his job completely to do it and was not 'above and beyond' the call of duty that would normally earn respect from others.

That being said, R2D2 is my favorite Star Wars character and I'd really hate to see him turned into something like that.
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#8 User is offline   HK 47 Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 12:21 PM

OT Artoo:
Gets the message to Obi-Wan
Shuts down the trash compactor
Repairs Lukes X-Wing
Messes with Yoda thumbsup.gif
Fixes the Falcons hyperdrive
Smuggles Lukes saber
Electrifies Jabbas cackling bastard pet
Fails to open the bunker on Endor

PT Artoo:
Repairs the Queens ship, and is given a half-ass award ceremony!
Is introduced to C-3PO in a way that makes retards blush
HE FUCKING FLIES! yell.gif
Drags C-3P0s head off the battlefield
Blasts droids off Anakins ship
and probably more to come...

I sense a pattern here...
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#9 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 12:26 PM

If Artoo uses a lightsaber I will forgive Lucas for all his wrongs and just accept the blatant absurdity of it all. I will re-christen him as a genius and follow him to the ends ot the Earth.*

He friggin' flew in AOTC... anything is possible.






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#10 User is offline   Primetime Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 12:28 PM

This is just a rumor, so it could be wrong . . . but I heard that R2 takes on Palpatine in a battle to end all battles!
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Posted 06 May 2005 - 02:12 PM

And as things seem thier worst, Kenny Baker jumps out of R2-D2 and kicks Palpatine in the nuts, thus ending his reign of terror, saving the galaxy, and causing a time paradox.

Meanwhile, George Lucas rolls around on piles of cash while wacking off to Jar-Jar hentai.

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#12 User is offline   ernesttomlinson Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 02:29 PM

Man, Lucas is really desperate. He knows how to do one thing, put in more computer-generated actions, more, yet more, piling them on. He's already made Yoda into an action hero (albeit a ridiculous one.) We know he has Grievous lined up and the obligatory lightsabre fights. But - I can imagine Lucas sweating as he spends a sleepless night trying desperately to think of something he can do to put asses in movie theatres' seats - it's not enough. He needs more action, more! He already tried turning Threepio into an action star and that didn't work. Who's left? Only Artoo.

Incidentally am I the only one who thinks that the scene where the Nubian ship is trying to run the blockade and all the astromech droids are perching there on the ship's hull is one of the most idiotic scenes in Star Trek? You've got all these bulky, clumsy droids sitting there on the hull, obvious targets, and one by one they get picked off, screaming piteously as they do. "We're losing droids fast!" Argh.
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#13 User is offline   Just another wretched fan Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 04:30 PM

QUOTE (ernesttomlinson @ May 6 2005, 02:29 PM)
Incidentally am I the only one who thinks that the scene where the Nubian ship is trying to run the blockade and all the astromech droids are perching there on the ship's hull is one of the most idiotic scenes in Star Trek?  You've got all these bulky, clumsy droids sitting there on the hull, obvious targets, and one by one they get picked off, screaming piteously as they do.  "We're losing droids fast!"  Argh.


I think the concept was a good idea. Astromechs need a point. What are they, a mobile computer core? Why isn't astromech programming built into the respective fighters? I think it makes a lot of sense to have a robot go out into the vacuum to preform repairs, especially a swiss army knife droid. Hell, they're planning on designing them for the International Space Station sometime in the future. You're asolutely right about the scene though. Something is wrong.

Brilliant idea, poor execution.

Edit: If R2-D2 had neutron thrusters in space, no one would care. It would make sense and be physically possible. As an aeronautical engineering student and a pilot, seeing R2-D2 fly makes my teeth hurt b/c that physically and aerodynamically cannot happen. Period. He would just fall forward and lie on the groud with the thrusters flaming. They're not even under his center of gravity or even powerful enough to lift his weight. He's heavy right? ITS NOT POSSIBLE. yell.gif

This post has been edited by Just another wretched fan: 06 May 2005 - 04:33 PM

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#14 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 06 May 2005 - 07:23 PM

QUOTE
Incidentally am I the only one who thinks that the scene where the Nubian ship is trying to run the blockade and all the astromech droids are perching there on the ship's hull is one of the most idiotic scenes in Star Trek?  You've got all these bulky, clumsy droids sitting there on the hull, obvious targets, and one by one they get picked off, screaming piteously as they do.  "We're losing droids fast!"


It did seem like a race against time. I was just impressed they could hang on.

Curious how we see three or four generations of fighter craft, all designed for an (at least twenty year old) astromech droid that denies revision.

ok, fine. The red one had a different head.
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#15 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 07 May 2005 - 12:51 AM

Well we've already come to find that despite ALL FUCKING LOGIC TO THE CONTRARY, Yoda, 3P0 and Palpatine can be highly mobile and fight, why not R2 as well. Hell, the only people who havnt done things that are completely absurd are Padme's kids but I imagine they will. Luke and Leia can reenact that scene from Allie McBeal. And then Obi Wan says "I can see the force is strong with them"

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