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He watch channel zero! I don't think I can handle...

#1 User is offline   rangwe Icon

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 10:54 AM

<mockery alt="it's all about the funny">

Wank! The franchise is crumbling under blunders by the ruthless Film Lord, Baron Crapanoida. There are rubes on both sides. Merchandise is everywhere.

In a slapstick move, the hilarious droid rip-off, Governator Beavis, has swept into the Skywalker Ranch and hijacked Joseph Campbell, scholar of the Credible Story.

As the Prequel Trilogy Bashers attempt to flee the collapsing franchise with their sanity intact , two Stoner Bums lead a desperate mission to rescue the White Castle Burgers...

***

"Jam-Master Hannibal: Years ago, you spanked my mom in the Porn Wars; now she begs you to help her in her struggle against the Franchise. I regret that I am unable to present my mom's request to you in person; but my bong has fallen under the coffee table and I'm afraid my mission to White Castle has failed. I've placed hot Padme jpgs vital to the daily workout of the fan-boys into the CD burner of this Colecovision. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this filth safely delivered to him on ebay. This is our most fascist hour. Mock me, Fresh-Fly Hannibal; I'm only a dope."

***

YOUR TYPICAL PREQUEL TRILOGY FARE:

Anakin: Are you an angel?
Queen Amidala: What?
Anakin: An angel. I've heard the deep space pilots talk about them. They live on the moons of Iego, I think. They're the most beautiful creatures in the universe.
Queen Amidala: You're a funny little boy. How do you know so much?
Anakin: I listen to all the traders and star pilots who come through here. I'm a pilot, you know, and someday I'm going to fly away from this place.

NOW SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I PUT THESE SUNGLASSES ON:

Anakin: Will you Marry me and Reproduce?
Queen Amidala: Marry and Reproduce?
Anakin: Marry and Reproduce. I've heard George Lucas talk about it. He lives at the Skywalker Ranch, I think. He's the most beautiful creature in the universe.
Queen Amidala: You're still too young to Marry and Reproduce. How about when you are a horny teenage stalker?
Anakin: I would be happy to Marry and Reproduce with you at that time. I'm am eager to Marry and Reproduce, you know, and someday I'm going to Marry and Reproduce.

THEY LIVE!

</mockery>

You may now stop reading forever.

- rangwe
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#2 User is offline   StarWarsIsUs Icon

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 05:59 PM

Right on, right on.*claps* smile.gif
SecretShadow (SuperShadow's main adversary)

Endor Holocaust
FIND OUT THE TRUTH
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#3 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 28 April 2005 - 06:41 PM

Rangwe- that last one was excellent. Have you seen my prequel scripts? They're somewhere deep in the screening room, I think you'd like them. They feature Hannibal in the role of all the unecessary villains.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#4 User is offline   rangwe Icon

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 09:31 AM

<preen>&exclamation;</preen>

Glad you liked it, JM! While you're at it, could you give me the title? There's an awful lot of stuff by you in that section, with whacky titles.

Unfortunately, I've shot my proton torpedoes of inspiration, and will now resume inferior operations of mockery. The Dark Side of the Force requires a lot of Hate to pay the bills, and my Midichlorines are on strike. I need a Despiser injection of that illearth stuff so I can get back to cold-bloodedly flogging my reflection!

Free Midichlorine secret decoder rings for all!

- rangwe
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#5 User is offline   Just another wretched fan Icon

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 09:34 AM

that dude's a nut but i'm glad he's on our side


(i mean nut in the nicest possible fashion)
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#6 User is offline   rangwe Icon

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 12:00 PM

Justanotherwretchedfan, so let it be written, so let it be done!

- rangwe
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#7 User is offline   Just another wretched fan Icon

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 02:50 PM

biggrin.gif
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#8 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 29 April 2005 - 11:03 PM

http://www.chefelf.c...?showtopic=2119 http://www.chefelf.c...?showtopic=1886

One of those is the prequels, and one is a comic wherein I compare Yoda and Mace to Beavis and Butt Head. Enjoy!

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#9 User is offline   Paladin Icon

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Posted 30 April 2005 - 09:29 AM

That was hilarlious!!! biggrin.gif
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