Pope gets email address Saturday, April 23, 2005
#16
Posted 28 April 2005 - 02:39 AM
That must make any girlfriends feel strange, Barend.
Meh - give the boy time. Besides, he doesn't concern me.
I'm a religious atheist with an intimate knowledge of theology and science, so I get the best of both worlds.
As for his emails - someone must make an email with the name "Baby Jebus" and issue commandments 11-20.
"Thou Shalt Lighten Up"
"Thou shalt get over thyself"
"Thou shalt not allow STI's a sporting chance"
"Thou shalt not force rape victims to bear babies"
"Thou shalt not interfere in the affairs of homosexuals"
"Thou shalt by Mnesymone a 1964 Porsche 911"
"Thou shalt shave with new Gilette Mach 3 Turbo Champion"
"Thou shalt ordain women and repeal monastic celibacy since they aren't obeying it anyway."
"Thou shalt not do the dirty deed with thine altar boys"
"Thou shalt ban spam"
Meh - give the boy time. Besides, he doesn't concern me.
I'm a religious atheist with an intimate knowledge of theology and science, so I get the best of both worlds.
As for his emails - someone must make an email with the name "Baby Jebus" and issue commandments 11-20.
"Thou Shalt Lighten Up"
"Thou shalt get over thyself"
"Thou shalt not allow STI's a sporting chance"
"Thou shalt not force rape victims to bear babies"
"Thou shalt not interfere in the affairs of homosexuals"
"Thou shalt by Mnesymone a 1964 Porsche 911"
"Thou shalt shave with new Gilette Mach 3 Turbo Champion"
"Thou shalt ordain women and repeal monastic celibacy since they aren't obeying it anyway."
"Thou shalt not do the dirty deed with thine altar boys"
"Thou shalt ban spam"
#17
Posted 28 April 2005 - 07:54 AM
Dare we? Dare we delve into the hated realm of e-mail forwards, make up a sensible set of Commandments and send them to the world? It might be fun...
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
#19
Posted 29 April 2005 - 11:11 AM
And that someone... is YOU! (Whoever you are.)
And as the rightfully appointed Pope, I have taken your commandments, gone back in time, and written them on the back of the first ten. Of course, nobody bothered to look at the back of the tablet...
And I had to omit the stuff that didn't exist yet and that was just blatent commercialism and greed.
This has been Pope Sladedict the First, working for you, fresh from God's brain to your mouth!
And as the rightfully appointed Pope, I have taken your commandments, gone back in time, and written them on the back of the first ten. Of course, nobody bothered to look at the back of the tablet...
And I had to omit the stuff that didn't exist yet and that was just blatent commercialism and greed.
This has been Pope Sladedict the First, working for you, fresh from God's brain to your mouth!
This space for rent. Inquire within.
#21
Posted 29 April 2005 - 06:07 PM
I hence propose we make up a "real" story saying that someone found these inscribed on a tablet somewhere, perhaps replace the Porshe one for mass familiarity, and send it to everyone. It'll be great! We can both annoy AND amuse people! It rocks! Whadda we say?
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
#22
Posted 29 April 2005 - 07:00 PM
Sadly I think our mass mailing might hit a snag at commandment 20, but we should definitely replace number 16 before mnesymone ends up with about a billion Porsches.
#23
Posted 29 April 2005 - 10:43 PM
Well, if we send it out as spam, then number 20 becomes self-mocking, making it funny on more levels.
This post has been edited by SimeSublime: 29 April 2005 - 10:43 PM
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#24
Posted 30 April 2005 - 05:37 AM
Why do you want to change number 16? Sure I'm sure a better use could be found for it than getting me a Porsche - but... well.
As for the razor, it is a dig at Gillette, who release new razors with ever more penis-compensatory names every month or so but with little or no genuine technical improvement.
But if you must:
16) Thou shalt maintain good hygiene.
17) Thou shalt not eat people because they did not give you a hot dog.
As for the razor, it is a dig at Gillette, who release new razors with ever more penis-compensatory names every month or so but with little or no genuine technical improvement.
But if you must:
16) Thou shalt maintain good hygiene.
17) Thou shalt not eat people because they did not give you a hot dog.
#28
Posted 30 April 2005 - 07:39 PM
Lets draft it up tomorrow, when I'm soberer...
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish