[Mnesymone]

Part of my bludgeoning insistence that the comments be in this thread was expressly for that purpose (i.e. that it'd be easy to reread like it was a book, or to read multiple chapters in a row if you missed a few)...

If something seems unfamiliar or undeveloped, why not have a reread and see if it falls into place. If it doesn't, have a complaint, and I'll either assure you that all will be revealed or take your suggestion onboard and patch it in if it seems reasonable.

I'll put a new chapter up in... say 8 or 9 hours.

[Mnesymone]

new chapter up

[StarWarsIsUs]

In my story, I have Anakin and Owen where they are pretty much brothers, too. Good job.

[Paladin]

I've just started reading it, and so far so good!

[Mnesymone]

Cool... nice to have a new reader - especially one of such long-term standing here.

[Just your average movie goer]

Love the new chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one. Things are developing very well and everything so far melds perfectly with the past that was presented to us through Obi Wan's conversation with Luke in the original Star Wars. Keep up the great work!

[Mnesymone]

Thanks for that... I'll try and put another chapter up in a few hours... if not then, 24 hours from now (there or thereabouts.)

[Mnesymone]

new chapter up.

[Just your average movie goer]

It gets better and better. I think seeing Obi Wan talk to Anakin about the history of the Sith is a nice counter to the scene where he talks to Luke about the force, the Jedi and the fall of the Old Republic.

I also noticed, and am very grateful for, the distinctive lack of midichlorians.

And on a note about style, I loved the closing line for the chapter...

"And after serenely upturning their world, Obi-Wan calmly left."

I'm a big fan of well crafted eloquent writing. And that's exactly what you do. This is wonderful.

[SimeSublime]

I agree with the last line. And it's good to see the history being put up. That never got developed in the crappy triology.

[Mnesymone]

Glad you liked it.
I was looking forward to making that chapter.

[StarWarsIsUs]

Interesting. Now we see just how Luke was just like his father in many ways.

[Mnesymone]

New Chapter up.

And SWIU - that's the idea

[Just your average movie goer]

Wonderful work yet again. I really like Anataj. He is a very chilling villain - and the thought that he has a master out there, someone older and more dangerous, is even scarier still.

Also, that was a very good concept of yours having Anataj use himself to create the clones. That's so much better than Lucas' idea of clone masters hiring some random bounty hunter with a dubious medical history to do the job. I also really liked it how Anataj thought of the clones as himself.

Overall a very interesting chapter - and a great new locale in that desolate planet as well. Although, I guess it's not so desolate now...


I look forward to the next one.

[StarWarsIsUs]

Hmm. Yeah. Great concept of the clonemaster using himself. I'm about to read the next chapter. Need a little time, though.