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Stormtrooper Armor: the next best thing to cotton shirt!

#1 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 18 January 2005 - 07:44 AM

with Chefelfs reasons to hate ROTJ:SE...

a breif point is made about the storm trooper armor...

i'd like to discuss this in detail as it has been an ache on my mind for many years...

according to the official SW RPG, ST armor is valued at 8,000 IC. and you have to have rather rediculous stats to be eligable to receive one... there are many parts to it as it covers the whole body (ie. helmet, sleves, leggings, shoulderpads, boots, gloves, vest, cuffs, and black under layer.), which makes it hard to decearn your regular elite trained loyal troops from a smuggler and rebel wannabe farm boy just wearing the uniforms of dead troops to infiltrate your base and kill you to save a princess...

that, and if you're actually a troop... it takes a bloody long time to put on, and severs peripheral vision, while the black absorbs alot of heat as it clings to the skin offering no breathing room.

now this rather interesting product of Composite Ceramics Technology is shapped like armor, is multi layered and would not be comfortable, thereby restricing movement and being an impediment to maximum combat efficiency...

now taking this into consideration combined with the fact that it is easier to penetrate than a drugged, drunk, paid prostitute on prom night... it begs one to ponder the reason into the empire issuing them to it's soldiers/police.

lets look at the field testing shall we...
laser proof? no.
trip proof? no.
jedi mind trick resistant? no.
light sabre proof? no.
explosion proof? no.
impact proof? no.
blunt force trauma proof? no.
somesort of inner helmet targetting system to improove aim? apparantly not!!!

worst of all...
lets look at the ewok bow and arrow. a common bane of the storm trooper armor as outlined by chefelf and shown in ROTJ.
given the height of an ewok... some 3-4 feet high. it can only be logically assumed that the longest bow available for use could be no longer than 2 feet (and that's being generous). given the arm length of the average adult member of the species, and that none of these bows are composit bows, it gives us a combined strength:pull ratio that would, at best, allow one to only just penetrate a cork board at 15 feet.
and yet, this galactacley unrenowned weapon is sufficient to perforate a soldier in Galactic Empire Issue Storm Trooper armor.

how exactly is one expected to honestly believe the empire was able to concor so many bloody planets (planets with ample supplies of rocks to throw, and species with stronger pitching arms than ewoks) in it's supprisingly succesfull run, in its estblishing years...?

tell me...

This post has been edited by barend: 18 January 2005 - 07:47 AM

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#2 User is offline   Helena Icon

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Posted 18 January 2005 - 09:06 AM

Well, I don't have much to say except that you're absolutely right. I particularly like your list of all the things it doesn't protect against...
QUOTE
The sandpeople had women and children. We know this because Anakin killed them how could he tell? The children might be smaller but I never saw a sandperson with breasts. Did they hike their skirts and show him some leg or something?

QUOTE
Also, I can see the point of wanting to kidnap a human and use her as a slave, but they didn't. They tied her to a flimsy easel for a month. It's assumed they had to feed and give her water. What for? Was she purely ornamental? I can understand them wanting the droids, you can sell those for a lot of money, but a chick who's only skills are finding non-existand mushrooms and getting randomly pregnant, you're not going to get much.

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#3 User is offline   Paladin Icon

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Posted 18 January 2005 - 11:03 AM

In real life, I believe that storm trooper like armor will exist someday -- but there's one thing you can count on... it WON'T be THAT weak!!!!! yell.gif
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#4 User is offline   Just your average movie goer Icon

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Posted 18 January 2005 - 11:21 AM

QUOTE
Well, I don't have much to say except that you're absolutely right.


See? SEE, you prequel gushers? THIS is how normal people handle valid criticisms of films they like. No made-up excuses, no elaborate efforts to cover it up - just nod.

For example, when someone says about The Empire Strikes Back, "How did Luke survive that enormous fall from the Imperial Walker onto the hard snow?"...

I don't make up some lenghty explanation about how Luke used the force. I just say "Yeah, that is a bit dodgy, isn't it?" And leave it at that.

I hope you can see where I'm coming from.


Also - GREAT POST, Barend. thumbsup.gif Thoroughly entertaining and I agree wholeheartedly.
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#5 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 08:45 AM

79 views, and only 3 replies...

what's that about...?

i will take this to mean that i have won the war on this...
either that or the 'but they look cool argument' is not deemed a powerfull enough defense...
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#6 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 09:29 AM

I like the way stormtrooper armor attracts blaster fire like a magnet. That, and the bright white color which is oh-so-subtle, in the desert or in the woods.
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#7 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 09:29 AM

If anything else it seems like the stormtrooper armore AMPLIFIES blunt force and laser blasts.

Watch ROTJ and see an Ewok lightly tapping a stormtrooper on the head with a twig and that stormtrooper drops like a sack of potatoes. Is it possible there is an internal force (not "the Force") amplification built into the armor that makes laser/concussions more powerful?

Seems like a bad idea but what other reasons could there be?
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#8 User is offline   Lord Aquaman Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 09:53 AM

Good points made by all.

I always assumed they made the Stormtrooper armor white for budget reasons. If not white, then what color should it have been?

Whatever happened to the Mad Rabbit with the Usagi Yojimbo avatar?
I am the Fisher King.

I'd like a qui-gon jinn please with an obi-wan to go.
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#9 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 01:46 PM

Maybe they realized that the more casualties they suffered the fewer people they had to pay? Also if we're going to accept the PT (which is a stretch) then this armor was made by cloners, which is kind of like a modern man asking a geneaologist to make him a bullet proof vest. Although in ep2 the clonetroopers seem to be on a level exceeding even the combat skill of the ewoks so I dunno...

This post has been edited by J m HofMarN: 21 January 2005 - 01:48 PM

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#10 User is offline   Despondent Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 02:54 PM

QUOTE (Lord Aquaman @ Jan 21 2005, 09:53 AM)
Good points made by all.

I always assumed they made the Stormtrooper armor white for budget reasons. If not white, then what color should it have been?



Well, if the color was deep red and they never did anything, They'd be the coolest characters in the star wasr galaxy, I'm guessing? wink.gif
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Posted 21 January 2005 - 04:07 PM

QUOTE
I always assumed they made the Stormtrooper armor white for budget reasons. If not white, then what color should it have been?


Anything that isn't colorful. Ash grey maybe. Check out the new Troopers featured in the new Star Wars Republic Commando game for some really sophisticated color schemes. Splattered blood being one. Let me show you our spring collection.

This game sort of pisses all over the idea that the clone troopers are actually clones since the members of the unit featured in the game are individuals, with individual voices. Morrison does the leaders voice. And they try even harder to make clone troopers cool. And these guys kick ass in a way Stormtroopers and AotC clonetroopers don't even get close too. Another contradiction? Surprise me, this does not... rolleyes.gif
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#12 User is offline   Vwing Icon

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Posted 21 January 2005 - 04:11 PM

Hey listen, I'm not gonna defend this. I'll try, but I won't be successful. I love ROTJ, but yeah, there's basically no getting around that. I'd say I have 2 possible defenses of it.

1. None of the Stormtroopers actually died, they just got knocked out for a couple minutes. After all, the Ewoks job was not to defeat the troops, just to delay them long enough for the rebels to turn the tide and set the bomb. After Chewie commandeers the AT-ST, that's really when the troopers start getting screwed. Before that it was basically just the surprise of the Ewoks, coupled with the constant rocks and arrows, that threw the Imperials off, but I believe the movie makes it clear that the Ewoks would have lost had it not been for Chewie getting the AT-ST.

2. It makes for some great lighter fare to act as a counterpoint to the dark scenes in Emperor's Throne Room.

Both kind of stretches, but hey, I tried.
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Posted 21 January 2005 - 04:18 PM

Well hey, the helmet at least protects against bumping one's head against a metal door. Maybe that was indeed just a fluke...

-Ben
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#14 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 24 January 2005 - 06:19 PM

maybe they should just wear fatigues and a t-shirt...

a swat team gear...

basically... stormtroopers are just some dude with a gun... what happens if they loose their gun? then they're just some dude who can't see what he's doing...
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#15 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 13 June 2006 - 02:02 AM

bumping this, because it came up recently and just stumbled upon it while looking for something else....

(PS... anyone remember where those medieval tapesty things are on these boards that we did?)
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