Tidings of Comfort and FUN!
Christmas came and went. The new year is a week old and I'm just now getting around to posting all the goodies I got for Christmas! If timeliness were a sport I wouldn't even be eligible to compete in the Opposite Olympics. I'm just that bad!
Here's what I got!
- A T-shirt that says "Bellevue Ave" - Jen got me this one. It's the street I used to live on, you see.
- Coconut Lime Shave Cream - Apparently Jen is unimpressed by my lack of coconut smell. This should fix all of that.
- Rubbed Sage - Because I'm tired of rubbing my own sage.
- Extra Fancy Spanish Thyme - Nobody does it fancy like the Spanish.
- Fleur de Sel - French Sea Salt. For when American Land Lubbin' Salt just won't do.
- Creamy Butternut Squash Soup - For a lunch that is sufficiently more satisfying than some Ramen.
- Skor Bar - Jen knows that chocolate treats are a good way of getting me to perform household tasks such as laundry, dishes and bringing out the garbage. Keeping a basket of candy in reserve is my payment.
- Justice League Stickers - Jen has a habit of getting me stickers featuring characters such as Qui-Gon Jinn or The Green Lantern. The joke is on her because now it's also her apartment that be subsequently covered with them.
- Dunkin Donuts Bucks - To spend when I am visiting Dunkin Donuts Land. Once my passport is updated, I plan to take a special trip.
- Comfortsoft waistband underwear (3) - Like every man I refuse to purchase my own underwear. This is handy though, considering my need for new pairs could have been classified as desperate.
- Trail Mix - At first I was worried that I had to go hiking to have some of this. After Jen explained to me that it's just a name I relaxed a little. I would like to refer to it as: "Sitting on My Ass Mix".
- Anchovy Paste - I plan on making anchovy ice cream some day.
- Maple Sugar Candies - My favorite kind of candy on the planet. Is it a coincidence that I fell for a girl from Canada where such things are plentiful? I'll let you be the judge.
- Chocolove 70% Dark Chocolate Bar - A chocolate bar that is quite dark indeed.
- Chocolate Bar 72% Dark Chocolate Bar - This chocolate bar was included to smugly "one up" the other one. Jen was insulted by the bar's smugness so much that she quickly turned it into a cake. That'll teach it.
- Hot Buttered Rum Mix - You know, to make hot buttered rum. Once I tried to make it without a mix. It didn't come out as delicious as it sounded. Next time things will be different. Next time I'll be ready.
- Red Dwarf Season One DVD - This is truly exciting. Now I have a solid foundation to rebuild my complete VHS collection of seasons 1-7.
- Red Dwarf Season Two DVD - My parents got me both of these. Now Jen will be subjected to periodic viewings whether she likes it or not!
- Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters - A great book by everyone's second favorite host of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. That is in no way intended to disrespect Mr. Nelson. I personally love him and all he stands for.
- Shai "Blackface" - An R&B band from the early 90's that I inexplicably love.
- Love & Death - One of my favorite Woody Allen pictures. How can you go wrong with Woody Allen as a Russian soldier during the Napoleonic invasion? Also, it features James Tolkan (Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future as Napoleon Bonaparte. That alone is worth the price of admission.
- Sleeper - My father's favorite Woody Allen movie. This is the first Woody Allen film I ever saw as a kid with my dad. He is always talking about the scene where they clone the president's nose. Brilliant.
- Take the Money and Run - One of Woody Allen's first films. It features Janet Margolin who, interestingly enough, used to baby sit a guy I worked with.
- A Sweater - Normally I am not a strong advocate of the sweater as a piece of clothing. However, this sweater has the understated elegance of something that Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable would wear on Sunday for church. In short, I like it.
- The Daily Show's America the Book - Jen's sister Lisa -- or, as she sometimes likes to call herself, Skullhunt the Dissector -- got me this one. It's the world's best coffee table book.
- Ketel One Vodka - My favorite vodka. This gift furthers the assertion made in this photo that I am some sort of boozer. I swear I was just making a dumb face to ruin the photo!
- Marshall Fields Peanut Butter Cups - When Jen's grandmother is not busy being the fittest woman of her age in North America, she takes time to buy me the best peanut butter cups I've ever had.
- Tea Kettle - Jen got me this excellent tea kettle. I can't tell if I like it so much because it's truly awesome or just because it ends the four month misery I've been suffering from making my tea each morning with a pot of water and ladle. A tea kettle is an invaluable tool in not spilling boiling water all over the place.
- John Ash Cooking One on One Book - Jen's parents got me this great book that explains a lot of the history and science behind cooking, rather than presenting you with regular recipes. Who doesn't like a good history and science lesson? Oh. Well, I do.
- Silpat Sheet - Jen got me a second Silpat sheet after my first one lost an unfortunate encounter with a knife. Now I can bake cookies once again without the hassle of having to wash a pan. Ah, modern technology.
- Iron Chef Coasters - Jen's parents also got me some nice Iron Chef coasters. I was tired of putting my drinks down and not thinking of Chairman Kaga.
- Will Ferrel Best of Saturday Night Live DVD - Jen indulges my guilty pleasures with great relish.
- A Wacky Chef Hanger! - It's a hanger that features a sculpted silly chef brandishing a fork that he is apparently about to impale a lobster with.
- 2 Sauce Pans - Jen and I received this joint present from her parents to triple our measly pot collection. These pots also do a good job of making our other scratched, dented, stained pot look even crappier than it is.
- 2 Quart Food Processor - Jen's parents also sent us this food processor to replace Jen's tiny 4 tablespoon food processor. Now we will be able to make foods that will be enough for more than an infant or a cat!
- Service for 8 53 Piece Silverware Set - At last we have enough silverware so that if we want to make a sandwich we don't have to do the dishes again before our next meal so that our one knife is clean again.