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Tidings of Comfort and FUN! Friday, January 7, 2005

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Posted 07 January 2005 - 01:07 PM

My Christmas Presents (2004)
Tidings of Comfort and FUN!

Christmas came and went. The new year is a week old and I'm just now getting around to posting all the goodies I got for Christmas! If timeliness were a sport I wouldn't even be eligible to compete in the Opposite Olympics. I'm just that bad!

Here's what I got!
  • A T-shirt that says "Bellevue Ave" - Jen got me this one. It's the street I used to live on, you see.
  • Coconut Lime Shave Cream - Apparently Jen is unimpressed by my lack of coconut smell. This should fix all of that.
  • Rubbed Sage - Because I'm tired of rubbing my own sage.
  • Extra Fancy Spanish Thyme - Nobody does it fancy like the Spanish.
  • Fleur de Sel - French Sea Salt. For when American Land Lubbin' Salt just won't do.
  • Creamy Butternut Squash Soup - For a lunch that is sufficiently more satisfying than some Ramen.
  • Skor Bar - Jen knows that chocolate treats are a good way of getting me to perform household tasks such as laundry, dishes and bringing out the garbage. Keeping a basket of candy in reserve is my payment.
  • Justice League Stickers - Jen has a habit of getting me stickers featuring characters such as Qui-Gon Jinn or The Green Lantern. The joke is on her because now it's also her apartment that be subsequently covered with them.
  • Dunkin Donuts Bucks - To spend when I am visiting Dunkin Donuts Land. Once my passport is updated, I plan to take a special trip.
  • Comfortsoft waistband underwear (3) - Like every man I refuse to purchase my own underwear. This is handy though, considering my need for new pairs could have been classified as desperate.
  • Trail Mix - At first I was worried that I had to go hiking to have some of this. After Jen explained to me that it's just a name I relaxed a little. I would like to refer to it as: "Sitting on My Ass Mix".
  • Anchovy Paste - I plan on making anchovy ice cream some day.
  • Maple Sugar Candies - My favorite kind of candy on the planet. Is it a coincidence that I fell for a girl from Canada where such things are plentiful? I'll let you be the judge.
  • Chocolove 70% Dark Chocolate Bar - A chocolate bar that is quite dark indeed.
  • Chocolate Bar 72% Dark Chocolate Bar - This chocolate bar was included to smugly "one up" the other one. Jen was insulted by the bar's smugness so much that she quickly turned it into a cake. That'll teach it.
  • Hot Buttered Rum Mix - You know, to make hot buttered rum. Once I tried to make it without a mix. It didn't come out as delicious as it sounded. Next time things will be different. Next time I'll be ready.
  • Red Dwarf Season One DVD - This is truly exciting. Now I have a solid foundation to rebuild my complete VHS collection of seasons 1-7.
  • Red Dwarf Season Two DVD - My parents got me both of these. Now Jen will be subjected to periodic viewings whether she likes it or not!
  • Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters - A great book by everyone's second favorite host of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. That is in no way intended to disrespect Mr. Nelson. I personally love him and all he stands for.
  • Shai "Blackface" - An R&B band from the early 90's that I inexplicably love.
  • Love & Death - One of my favorite Woody Allen pictures. How can you go wrong with Woody Allen as a Russian soldier during the Napoleonic invasion? Also, it features James Tolkan (Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future as Napoleon Bonaparte. That alone is worth the price of admission.
  • Sleeper - My father's favorite Woody Allen movie. This is the first Woody Allen film I ever saw as a kid with my dad. He is always talking about the scene where they clone the president's nose. Brilliant.
  • Take the Money and Run - One of Woody Allen's first films. It features Janet Margolin who, interestingly enough, used to baby sit a guy I worked with.
  • A Sweater - Normally I am not a strong advocate of the sweater as a piece of clothing. However, this sweater has the understated elegance of something that Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable would wear on Sunday for church. In short, I like it.
  • The Daily Show's America the Book - Jen's sister Lisa -- or, as she sometimes likes to call herself, Skullhunt the Dissector -- got me this one. It's the world's best coffee table book.
  • Ketel One Vodka - My favorite vodka. This gift furthers the assertion made in this photo that I am some sort of boozer. I swear I was just making a dumb face to ruin the photo!
  • Marshall Fields Peanut Butter Cups - When Jen's grandmother is not busy being the fittest woman of her age in North America, she takes time to buy me the best peanut butter cups I've ever had.
  • Tea Kettle - Jen got me this excellent tea kettle. I can't tell if I like it so much because it's truly awesome or just because it ends the four month misery I've been suffering from making my tea each morning with a pot of water and ladle. A tea kettle is an invaluable tool in not spilling boiling water all over the place.
  • John Ash Cooking One on One Book - Jen's parents got me this great book that explains a lot of the history and science behind cooking, rather than presenting you with regular recipes. Who doesn't like a good history and science lesson? Oh. Well, I do.
  • Silpat Sheet - Jen got me a second Silpat sheet after my first one lost an unfortunate encounter with a knife. Now I can bake cookies once again without the hassle of having to wash a pan. Ah, modern technology.
  • Iron Chef Coasters - Jen's parents also got me some nice Iron Chef coasters. I was tired of putting my drinks down and not thinking of Chairman Kaga.
  • Will Ferrel Best of Saturday Night Live DVD - Jen indulges my guilty pleasures with great relish.
  • A Wacky Chef Hanger! - It's a hanger that features a sculpted silly chef brandishing a fork that he is apparently about to impale a lobster with.
  • 2 Sauce Pans - Jen and I received this joint present from her parents to triple our measly pot collection. These pots also do a good job of making our other scratched, dented, stained pot look even crappier than it is.
  • 2 Quart Food Processor - Jen's parents also sent us this food processor to replace Jen's tiny 4 tablespoon food processor. Now we will be able to make foods that will be enough for more than an infant or a cat!
  • Service for 8 53 Piece Silverware Set - At last we have enough silverware so that if we want to make a sandwich we don't have to do the dishes again before our next meal so that our one knife is clean again.
Not a bad haul. Thanks to everyone who gave me such great presents!
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Posted 07 January 2005 - 03:08 PM

The Rubbed Sage was hilarious!

You really scored in a big way, chef. I noticed you recieved a few DVDs. They are probably the number one gift nowadays. People buy them like hot cakes. We sold a DVD for every 5th rental at my store during the break. The only problem is people buy DVDs for people that have never seen them. "I hope my boyfrend ilkes this movie" "I hope they like this movie, because I do" I heard that all the time from my customers, I was blown away. It should be a rule, only buy DVDs that the person has seen and loves, not random shit!

I had no idea you liked early 90's RnB. It's one of my guilty pleasures. I tell every one I hate RnB. And I do, anything from 1996 till present is lame, but Soul For Real, Shai, Jodeci, Boys II Men, etc.. have some great tracks.
Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum
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Posted 07 January 2005 - 08:33 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Jan 7 2005, 01:07 PM)
My Christmas Presents (2004)
Tidings of Comfort and FUN!

Christmas came and went.  The new year is a week old and I'm just now getting around to posting all the goodies I got for Christmas!  If timeliness were a sport I wouldn't even be eligible to compete in the Opposite Olympics.  I'm just that bad!

Here's what I got!
  • A T-shirt that says "Bellevue Ave" - Jen got me this one.  It's the street I used to live on, you see.
  • Coconut Lime Shave Cream - Apparently Jen is unimpressed by my lack of coconut smell.  This should fix all of that.
  • Rubbed Sage - Because I'm tired of rubbing my own sage.
  • Extra Fancy Spanish Thyme - Nobody does it fancy like the Spanish.
  • Fleur de Sel - French Sea Salt.  For when American Land Lubbin' Salt just won't do.
  • Creamy Butternut Squash Soup - For a lunch that is sufficiently more satisfying than some Ramen.
  • Skor Bar - Jen knows that chocolate treats are a good way of getting me to
  • Justice League Stickers - Jen has a habit of getting me stickers featuring characters such as Qui-Gon Jinn or The Green Lantern.  The joke is on her because now it's also her apartment that be subsequently covered with them.
  • Dunkin Donuts Bucks - To spend when I am visiting Dunkin Donuts Land.  Once my passport is updated, I plan to take a special trip.
  • Comfortsoft waistband underwear (3) - Like every man I refuse to purchase my own underwear.  This is handy though, considering my need for new pairs could have been classified as desperate.
  • Trail Mix - At first I was worried that I had to go hiking to have some of this.  After Jen explained to me that it's just a name I relaxed a little.  I would like to refer to it as: "Sitting on My Ass Mix".
  • Anchovy Paste - I plan on making anchovy ice cream some day.
  • Maple Sugar Candies - My favorite kind of candy on the planet.  Is it a coincidence that I fell for a girl from Canada where such things are plentiful?  I'll let you be the judge.
  • Chocolove 70% Dark Chocolate Bar - A chocolate bar that is quite dark indeed.
  • Chocolate Bar 72% Dark Chocolate Bar - This chocolate bar was included  to smugly "one up" the other one.  Jen was insulted by the bar's smugness so much that she quickly turned it into a cake.  That'll teach it.
  • Hot Buttered Rum Mix - You know, to make hot buttered rum.  Once I tried to make it without a mix.  It didn't come out as delicious as it sounded.  Next time things will be different.  Next time I'll be ready.
  • Red Dwarf Season One DVD - This is truly exciting.  Now I have a solid foundation to rebuild my complete VHS collection of seasons 1-7.
  • Red Dwarf Season Two DVD - My parents got me both of these.  Now Jen will be subjected to periodic viewings whether she likes it or not!
  • Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters - A great book by everyone's second favorite host of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  That is in no way intended to disrespect Mr. Nelson.  I personally love him and all he stands for.
  • Shai "Blackface" - An R&B band from the early 90's that I inexplicably love. 
  • Love & Death - One of my favorite Woody Allen pictures.  How can you go wrong with Woody Allen as a Russian soldier during the Napoleonic invasion?  Also, it features James Tolkan (Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future as Napoleon Bonaparte.  That alone is worth the price of admission.
  • Sleeper - My father's favorite Woody Allen movie.  This is the first Woody Allen film I ever saw as a kid with my dad.  He is always talking about the scene where they clone the president's nose.  Brilliant.
  • Take the Money and Run - One of Woody Allen's first films.  It features Janet Margolin who, interestingly enough, used to baby sit a guy I worked with.
  • A Sweater - Normally I am not a strong advocate of the sweater as a piece of clothing.  However, this sweater has the understated elegance of something that Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable would wear on Sunday for church.  In short, I like it.
  • The Daily Show's America the Book - Jen's sister Lisa -- or, as she sometimes likes to call herself, Skullhunt the Dissector -- got me this one.  It's the world's best coffee table book.
  • Ketel One Vodka - My favorite vodka.  This gift furthers the assertion made in this photo that I am some sort of boozer.  I swear I was just making a dumb face to ruin the photo!
  • Marshall Fields Peanut Butter Cups - When Jen's grandmother is not busy being the fittest woman of her age in North America, she takes time to buy me the best peanut butter cups I've ever had.
  • Tea Kettle - Jen got me this excellent tea kettle.  I can't tell if I like it so much because it's truly awesome or just because it ends the four month misery I've been suffering from making my tea each morning with a pot of water and ladle.  A tea kettle is an invaluable tool in not spilling boiling water all over the place.
  • John Ash Cooking One on One Book - Jen's parents got me this great book that explains a lot of the history and science behind cooking, rather than presenting you with regular recipes.  Who doesn't like a good history and science lesson?  Oh.  Well, I do.
  • Silpat Sheet - Jen got me a second Silpat sheet after my first one lost an unfortunate encounter with a knife.  Now I can bake cookies once again without the hassle of having to wash a pan.  Ah, modern technology.
  • Iron Chef Coasters - Jen's parents also got me some nice Iron Chef coasters.  I was tired of putting my drinks down and not thinking of Chairman Kaga.
  • Will Ferrel Best of Saturday Night Live DVD - Jen indulges my guilty pleasures with great relish.
  • A Wacky Chef Hanger! - It's a hanger that features a sculpted silly chef brandishing a fork that he is apparently about to impale a lobster with.
  • 2 Sauce Pans - Jen and I received this joint present from her parents to
  • 2 Quart Food Processor - Jen's parents also sent us this food processor to replace Jen's tiny 4 tablespoon food processor.  Now we will be able to make foods that will be enough for more than an infant or a cat!
  • Service for 8 53 Piece Silverware Set - At last we have enough silverware so that if we want to make a sandwich we don't have to do the dishes again before our next meal so that our one knife is clean again.

Not a bad haul.  Thanks to everyone who gave me such great presents!

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Posted 07 January 2005 - 08:34 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Jan 7 2005, 01:07 PM)
My Christmas Presents (2004)
Tidings of Comfort and FUN!

Christmas came and went.  The new year is a week old and I'm just now getting around to posting all the goodies I got for Christmas!  If timeliness were a sport I wouldn't even be eligible to compete in the Opposite Olympics.  I'm just that bad!

Here's what I got!
  • A T-shirt that says "Bellevue Ave" - Jen got me this one.  It's the street I used to live on, you see.
  • Coconut Lime Shave Cream - Apparently Jen is unimpressed by my lack of coconut smell.  This should fix all of that.
  • Rubbed Sage - Because I'm tired of rubbing my own sage.
  • Extra Fancy Spanish Thyme - Nobody does it fancy like the Spanish.
  • Fleur de Sel - French Sea Salt.  For when American Land Lubbin' Salt just won't do.
  • Creamy Butternut Squash Soup - For a lunch that is sufficiently more satisfying than some Ramen.
  • Skor Bar - Jen knows that chocolate treats are a good way of getting me to
  • Justice League Stickers - Jen has a habit of getting me stickers featuring characters such as Qui-Gon Jinn or The Green Lantern.  The joke is on her because now it's also her apartment that be subsequently covered with them.
  • Dunkin Donuts Bucks - To spend when I am visiting Dunkin Donuts Land.  Once my passport is updated, I plan to take a special trip.
  • Comfortsoft waistband underwear (3) - Like every man I refuse to purchase my own underwear.  This is handy though, considering my need for new pairs could have been classified as desperate.
  • Trail Mix - At first I was worried that I had to go hiking to have some of this.  After Jen explained to me that it's just a name I relaxed a little.  I would like to refer to it as: "Sitting on My Ass Mix".
  • Anchovy Paste - I plan on making anchovy ice cream some day.
  • Maple Sugar Candies - My favorite kind of candy on the planet.  Is it a coincidence that I fell for a girl from Canada where such things are plentiful?  I'll let you be the judge.
  • Chocolove 70% Dark Chocolate Bar - A chocolate bar that is quite dark indeed.
  • Chocolate Bar 72% Dark Chocolate Bar - This chocolate bar was included  to smugly "one up" the other one.  Jen was insulted by the bar's smugness so much that she quickly turned it into a cake.  That'll teach it.
  • Hot Buttered Rum Mix - You know, to make hot buttered rum.  Once I tried to make it without a mix.  It didn't come out as delicious as it sounded.  Next time things will be different.  Next time I'll be ready.
  • Red Dwarf Season One DVD - This is truly exciting.  Now I have a solid foundation to rebuild my complete VHS collection of seasons 1-7.
  • Red Dwarf Season Two DVD - My parents got me both of these.  Now Jen will be subjected to periodic viewings whether she likes it or not!
  • Mike Nelson's Mind Over Matters - A great book by everyone's second favorite host of Mystery Science Theatre 3000.  That is in no way intended to disrespect Mr. Nelson.  I personally love him and all he stands for.
  • Shai "Blackface" - An R&B band from the early 90's that I inexplicably love. 
  • Love & Death - One of my favorite Woody Allen pictures.  How can you go wrong with Woody Allen as a Russian soldier during the Napoleonic invasion?  Also, it features James Tolkan (Mr. Strickland from Back to the Future as Napoleon Bonaparte.  That alone is worth the price of admission.
  • Sleeper - My father's favorite Woody Allen movie.  This is the first Woody Allen film I ever saw as a kid with my dad.  He is always talking about the scene where they clone the president's nose.  Brilliant.
  • Take the Money and Run - One of Woody Allen's first films.  It features Janet Margolin who, interestingly enough, used to baby sit a guy I worked with.
  • A Sweater - Normally I am not a strong advocate of the sweater as a piece of clothing.  However, this sweater has the understated elegance of something that Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable would wear on Sunday for church.  In short, I like it.
  • The Daily Show's America the Book - Jen's sister Lisa -- or, as she sometimes likes to call herself, Skullhunt the Dissector -- got me this one.  It's the world's best coffee table book.
  • Ketel One Vodka - My favorite vodka.  This gift furthers the assertion made in this photo that I am some sort of boozer.  I swear I was just making a dumb face to ruin the photo!
  • Marshall Fields Peanut Butter Cups - When Jen's grandmother is not busy being the fittest woman of her age in North America, she takes time to buy me the best peanut butter cups I've ever had.
  • Tea Kettle - Jen got me this excellent tea kettle.  I can't tell if I like it so much because it's truly awesome or just because it ends the four month misery I've been suffering from making my tea each morning with a pot of water and ladle.  A tea kettle is an invaluable tool in not spilling boiling water all over the place.
  • John Ash Cooking One on One Book - Jen's parents got me this great book that explains a lot of the history and science behind cooking, rather than presenting you with regular recipes.  Who doesn't like a good history and science lesson?  Oh.  Well, I do.
  • Silpat Sheet - Jen got me a second Silpat sheet after my first one lost an unfortunate encounter with a knife.  Now I can bake cookies once again without the hassle of having to wash a pan.  Ah, modern technology.
  • Iron Chef Coasters - Jen's parents also got me some nice Iron Chef coasters.  I was tired of putting my drinks down and not thinking of Chairman Kaga.
  • Will Ferrel Best of Saturday Night Live DVD - Jen indulges my guilty pleasures with great relish.
  • A Wacky Chef Hanger! - It's a hanger that features a sculpted silly chef brandishing a fork that he is apparently about to impale a lobster with.
  • 2 Sauce Pans - Jen and I received this joint present from her parents to
  • 2 Quart Food Processor - Jen's parents also sent us this food processor to replace Jen's tiny 4 tablespoon food processor.  Now we will be able to make foods that will be enough for more than an infant or a cat!
  • Service for 8 53 Piece Silverware Set - At last we have enough silverware so that if we want to make a sandwich we don't have to do the dishes again before our next meal so that our one knife is clean again.

Not a bad haul.  Thanks to everyone who gave me such great presents!

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Posted 07 January 2005 - 08:39 PM

Sorry, I really screwed up. It looks like I copied your story as a reply, not once, but twice. I'm old and soon you will driving me to the home but telling me we are going out for ice cream. All I wanted to say is that you shouldn't forget that sleeper also has the scene where Woody discovers the old VW in the cave and it starts up first shot.

God how I miss my VW's.
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Posted 07 January 2005 - 11:33 PM

QUOTE (Cemetery guy @ Jan 7 2005, 08:39 PM)
God how I miss my VW's


Anytime you want a cure for your fever come see Dr. Jeff, I'll let you drive both of mine!!

-Jeff
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Posted 08 January 2005 - 02:46 AM

Hey Nate, you might be interested in this book too:
(I've been meaning to pick it up myself...)

What Einstein Told His Cook: Kitchen Science Explained
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Posted 08 January 2005 - 01:46 PM

Mind over Matters is great. Lefty has it, and I've read it several times, sometimes in rapid succession. Favorite entries: the first one, about staying in a hotel room; the imitation 18th century novel chapter (hilarious!) All of them are really brilliant. It's the book that made me love Mike Nelson as much as Joel. (Incidentally, "A Year at the Movies," by Kevin Murphy, made me kind of think Kevin Murphy is snob. But it also has its moments.)

Chocolate that dark is also really awesome.

If you ever want your Red Dwarf VHS back, I have them all in Providence.
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Posted 09 January 2005 - 01:27 PM

QUOTE (Cemetery guy @ Jan 7 2005, 08:39 PM)
Sorry, I really screwed up. It looks like I copied your story as a reply, not once, but twice.


I saw your error and was going to delete the posts but then your humorous reply made me change my mind. I'll leave them as be for comedic value. smile.gif

QUOTE (srmoore @ Jan 8 2005, 02:46 AM)
Hey Nate, you might be interested in this book too:
(I've been meaning to pick it up myself...)

What Einstein Told His Cook: Kitchen Science Explained


Looks pretty interested. If more people realized that learning the WHY and HOW of cooking, the Food Network would have a lot better shows and people would actually learn things from them.


QUOTE (Laura @ Jan 8 2005, 01:46 PM)
Mind over Matters is great. Lefty has it, and I've read it several times, sometimes in rapid succession. Favorite entries: the first one, about staying in a hotel room; the imitation 18th century novel chapter (hilarious!)


That book is great. They're mostly just really short rants that go off on tangents. I rather enjoyed both the Radio Shack and Home Depot rants. Top quality stuff. Also, the cell phone rant and the one about getting stung by wasps are amazing. I spent a lot of time on the subway trying to stifle my laughs while reading this book.

QUOTE (Laura @ Jan 8 2005, 01:46 PM)
If you ever want your Red Dwarf VHS back, I have them all in Providence.


Consider them a gift from me to you. I plan on replacing them all with DVDs. However, since Paul has a 50% ownership of the collection I guess I can only give you my 50% share. So, for what that's worth... it's yours!
See Chefelf in a Movie! -> The People vs. George Lucas

Buy the New LittleHorse CD, Strangers in the Valley!
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Posted 09 January 2005 - 01:34 PM

QUOTE (Chefelf @ Jan 7 2005, 06:07 PM)
Anchovy Paste - I plan on making anchovy ice cream some day.


In the meantime, you can hold your anchovy arts and crafts together.

This post has been edited by Ninja Duck: 09 January 2005 - 01:38 PM

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Posted 12 January 2005 - 07:49 PM

QUOTE (Jeff @ Jan 7 2005, 11:33 PM)
Anytime you want a cure for your fever come see Dr. Jeff, I'll let you drive both of mine!!

-Jeff



What makes you think I haven't been sneaking over in the dark of night and already getting my VW fix.
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Posted 01 February 2005 - 05:42 PM

I think I can honestly say 'Mind Over Matters' is one of my favorite books, right alongside Bruce Campbell's autobiography. I also reccomend Mike's other essay book, "Movie Megacheese", though I still don't have my own copy. He wrote a novel for young adults too, but I haven't read that yet.
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Oh God, I had no idea! How can they keep it going? You mean, Return of the Children of the Corn etc? Children of the Corn 2? Children of the Corn and the Prisoner of Azkaban? I Know What You Did With The Children Of the Corn???? Yes, it's horrible!!!!
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