Paris Hilton Cradle of Filth's "Gilded Cunt"
#16
Posted 16 November 2004 - 08:56 PM
make her skin break out in hideous sores,
makes her hair fall out,
and causes her to give off a smell like rotting fish.
Speaking as a female, I think that'd fix her.
Oh, and makes her teeth fall out.
#17
Posted 16 November 2004 - 09:37 PM
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#18
Posted 17 November 2004 - 01:59 AM
Come on Jane, I guess I can't really talk for everybody, but that sums up my contribution to this conversation quite well.
And I am all for the duel thing. Think about it Yahtzee. You've been doing great work for years, but got nowhere near the fame that she has by doing nothing. Perhaps by doing something as irrelevant as challenging her to a duel will net you some income?
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
#19
Posted 17 November 2004 - 05:04 PM
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#20
Posted 17 November 2004 - 07:49 PM
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
#22
Posted 17 November 2004 - 08:03 PM
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
#23
Posted 17 November 2004 - 10:05 PM
As for the actual fight I'm not entirely sure. Now Yahtzee is British and fighting something that, I'm sure we all agree, is an unholy evil. Therefore he should have squads of elite commandos and tons of neat gadgets and a big breasted female with a suggestory name. However Yahtzee is evil so the best he can get on his side are blind henchmen, a cat and some assassin-whores.
So, first round I predict the blind henchmen will shoot the cat and assassin-whores leaving Paris the undeniable winner. Then it'll just be one on one.
Paris has her horrible ability to annoy and disgust any sensible person who sees her.
Yahtzee has seemingly limitless cynicism.
Paris is trained in, well, being a dumfuck.
Yahtzee, through various video games, is likely trained in the use of several weapons.
Paris has clothing that is likely worth more than a small country.
Yahtzee has the hat.
As Yahtzee is the challenger he gets to name what weapons are to be used and the conditions for the duel. Paris gets to name the location.
Analysing the will-be contestants I'm going to say that Yahtzee will choose ball pin hammers as the weapon and first to get their face bludgeoned into meat-loaf loses as the conditions. Paris will likely want the fight to occur in a network tv studio, likely infront of a live studio audience.
I think that this will work especially to Yahtzee's disadvantage, being as every time the audience claps or does something stupid he'll have to turn and address them as "tossers", which will give Paris an opening.
So Paris will likely assail Yahtzee from behind but will certainly have to stop when she gets blood on her clothes. While she asks for some club soda to wash it out Yahtzee is pumelling her mercilessly with a hammer.
Now each contestant will be severely battered by this time but I think that Paris' whining about her clothes will allow her to retake the advantage. However just as she's about to make the deathblow she'll realize that Yahtzee really dosn't give a damn. His apathy will soon infect her and she'll realize how pointless her life has been and bludgeon herself to death.
Winner: Yahtzee!
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#24
Posted 19 November 2004 - 07:08 AM
Methinx she'll spend the entire match asking Daddy to buy her a ball hammer that goes with her Ethiopian-child-hide shoes, whining that the cracked bones clask with her dress, and falling over as her opponent actually, y'know, uses his weapon...
Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
#25
Posted 20 November 2004 - 05:55 PM
Chyld is an ignorant slut.
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
#26
Posted 21 November 2004 - 12:28 AM
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