Chefelf.com Night Life: Paris Hilton - Chefelf.com Night Life

Jump to content

  • (4 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4

Paris Hilton Cradle of Filth's "Gilded Cunt"

#16 User is offline   Little princess Icon

  • Mini Boss
  • PipPip
  • Group: Junior Members
  • Posts: 176
  • Joined: 17-April 04

Posted 16 November 2004 - 08:56 PM

She just needs to be infected with some disease (there must be one) that makes her grotesquely fat,
make her skin break out in hideous sores,
makes her hair fall out,
and causes her to give off a smell like rotting fish.

Speaking as a female, I think that'd fix her.

Oh, and makes her teeth fall out.
0

#17 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

  • Knows All The Girls Named Lola
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,234
  • Joined: 24-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rural Pahrump Nevada
  • Interests:Tyranny
  • Country:United States

Posted 16 November 2004 - 09:37 PM

Bugger all these wildf theories lets all actually get behind something that's possible. Let's be proactive! Let's talk Yahtzee into challenging the wench to a duel!

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#18 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

  • Monkey Proof
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Moderators
  • Posts: 6,619
  • Joined: 06-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Perth, Western Australia
  • Country:Australia

Posted 17 November 2004 - 01:59 AM

QUOTE (Jane Sherwood @ Nov 17 2004, 01:50 AM)
But calling us nerdy little posers? I'd like to see you put your money where your mouth is...

Come on Jane, I guess I can't really talk for everybody, but that sums up my contribution to this conversation quite well.

And I am all for the duel thing. Think about it Yahtzee. You've been doing great work for years, but got nowhere near the fame that she has by doing nothing. Perhaps by doing something as irrelevant as challenging her to a duel will net you some income?
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
0

#19 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

  • Knows All The Girls Named Lola
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,234
  • Joined: 24-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rural Pahrump Nevada
  • Interests:Tyranny
  • Country:United States

Posted 17 November 2004 - 05:04 PM

A massive internet campaign to get Paris Hilton to duel with Yahtzee is just what the world needs and at the very least it'll be a great publicity stunt and at the most it'll cause a reenactment of the final act of Hamlet.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#20 User is offline   Chyld Icon

  • Ancient Monstrosity
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Crappy News Team
  • Posts: 5,770
  • Joined: 04-March 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Not Alaska
  • Country:United Kingdom

Posted 17 November 2004 - 07:49 PM

Sounds like a plan to me. And it must take place on a mountain, and it must be done to music.
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
0

#21 User is offline   Helmacron Icon

  • New Cop
  • Group: Junior Members
  • Posts: 2
  • Joined: 10-July 04

Posted 17 November 2004 - 07:51 PM

I hope she beats the shit out of him.
0

#22 User is offline   Chyld Icon

  • Ancient Monstrosity
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Crappy News Team
  • Posts: 5,770
  • Joined: 04-March 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Not Alaska
  • Country:United Kingdom

Posted 17 November 2004 - 08:03 PM

Hmm, a voter for the Opposition. We can now officialy start placing bets!
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
0

#23 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

  • Knows All The Girls Named Lola
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,234
  • Joined: 24-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rural Pahrump Nevada
  • Interests:Tyranny
  • Country:United States

Posted 17 November 2004 - 10:05 PM

This will be the fight of the century, soon as Yahtzee puts forth the challenge i'm going off to find me some Paris Hilton message boards. If I come back with my sanity intact things should get pretty interesting after a time.

As for the actual fight I'm not entirely sure. Now Yahtzee is British and fighting something that, I'm sure we all agree, is an unholy evil. Therefore he should have squads of elite commandos and tons of neat gadgets and a big breasted female with a suggestory name. However Yahtzee is evil so the best he can get on his side are blind henchmen, a cat and some assassin-whores.

So, first round I predict the blind henchmen will shoot the cat and assassin-whores leaving Paris the undeniable winner. Then it'll just be one on one.

Paris has her horrible ability to annoy and disgust any sensible person who sees her.

Yahtzee has seemingly limitless cynicism.

Paris is trained in, well, being a dumfuck.

Yahtzee, through various video games, is likely trained in the use of several weapons.

Paris has clothing that is likely worth more than a small country.

Yahtzee has the hat.

As Yahtzee is the challenger he gets to name what weapons are to be used and the conditions for the duel. Paris gets to name the location.

Analysing the will-be contestants I'm going to say that Yahtzee will choose ball pin hammers as the weapon and first to get their face bludgeoned into meat-loaf loses as the conditions. Paris will likely want the fight to occur in a network tv studio, likely infront of a live studio audience.

I think that this will work especially to Yahtzee's disadvantage, being as every time the audience claps or does something stupid he'll have to turn and address them as "tossers", which will give Paris an opening.

So Paris will likely assail Yahtzee from behind but will certainly have to stop when she gets blood on her clothes. While she asks for some club soda to wash it out Yahtzee is pumelling her mercilessly with a hammer.

Now each contestant will be severely battered by this time but I think that Paris' whining about her clothes will allow her to retake the advantage. However just as she's about to make the deathblow she'll realize that Yahtzee really dosn't give a damn. His apathy will soon infect her and she'll realize how pointless her life has been and bludgeon herself to death.

Winner: Yahtzee!

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#24 User is offline   Chyld Icon

  • Ancient Monstrosity
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Crappy News Team
  • Posts: 5,770
  • Joined: 04-March 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Not Alaska
  • Country:United Kingdom

Posted 19 November 2004 - 07:08 AM

This is, assuming she can work out how to use a ball hammer.

Methinx she'll spend the entire match asking Daddy to buy her a ball hammer that goes with her Ethiopian-child-hide shoes, whining that the cracked bones clask with her dress, and falling over as her opponent actually, y'know, uses his weapon...
When you lose your calm, you feed your anger.

Less Is More v4
Now resigned to a readership of me, my cat and some fish
0

#25 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

  • Hello Master
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 5,605
  • Joined: 05-March 04
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Lake Charles, Louisiana
  • Interests:Far too many to list in this tiny space...
  • Country:United States

Posted 20 November 2004 - 05:55 PM

Is anyone else suddenly being strongly reminded of Celebrity Deathmatch?
Check out my crappy drawings!

Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
0

#26 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

  • Knows All The Girls Named Lola
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 7,234
  • Joined: 24-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Rural Pahrump Nevada
  • Interests:Tyranny
  • Country:United States

Posted 21 November 2004 - 12:28 AM

The problem is that while people celebrate Yahtzee for his various whitty articles and his cynical touch they tend to mourn the existence of Paris Hilton, so it cant actually be called a celebrity death match.

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#27 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

  • Monkey Proof
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Moderators
  • Posts: 6,619
  • Joined: 06-May 04
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Perth, Western Australia
  • Country:Australia

Posted 21 November 2004 - 12:43 AM

As long as it's still a death match though, it's all good.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
0

#28 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

  • Hello Master
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 5,605
  • Joined: 05-March 04
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Lake Charles, Louisiana
  • Interests:Far too many to list in this tiny space...
  • Country:United States

Posted 21 November 2004 - 01:14 AM

Still, does anyone know how to do claymation?
Check out my crappy drawings!

Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
"I don't have to conform to the vagaries of time and space; I'm a loony, for God's sake!"
- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
0

#29 User is offline   Icey Icon

  • n00b
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 2,889
  • Joined: 06-April 04
  • Location:Not-Spain
  • Interests:Being infested by parasites. Fighting members of the Kennedy family, kidnapping the President's daughter. Moaning.<br />
  • Country:United States

Posted 21 November 2004 - 04:57 AM

Claymation is easy, all you need is a camera, clay, tripod and tons and tons of patience.
0

#30 User is offline   Dark Comet Icon

  • Mini Boss
  • PipPip
  • Group: Junior Members
  • Posts: 186
  • Joined: 22-August 04

Posted 21 November 2004 - 06:25 AM

Hrm... are you pondering what I'm pondering?
0

  • (4 Pages)
  • +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4


Fast Reply

  • Decrease editor size
  • Increase editor size