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LOTR Pants if you dont get it its not funny

#1 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 14 November 2004 - 06:33 AM

This is the place on the forums where those of us with lots of time and good recollection of LOTR dialogue can switch random nouns with the word "pants" with hillarious results. Seriously, no word misxed into LOTR dialogue better than pants. Here's my examples.

"and into his pants he poured his malice, his hatred, and his will to dominate all life on Middle Earth"

"Are you wearing pants?" "Yes." "Not nearly enough." -Aragorn and Frodo

"Yes, but he turned from his pants long ago. He has chosen exhibitionism." -Elrond

"He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn... you owe him your pants." -Legolas

"Gimli! Lower your pants!" -Legolas

"Pants are of no more use here!" -Gandalf

"I'll have no panty-wearer outscoring me!" -Gimli

"may it be that your pants, shall fall on your way, may it be you journey on to light the day" -From "May it be" by Enya for the LOTR soundtrack

"How long since Saruman bought you? what was the promised price Grima? when all the men are dead you will take off their pants? -Eowyn passes by- Too long have you watched my sister! Too long have you haunted her pants!" -Eomer

"The pants of Helm Hammerhand shall be worn in the deep one last time." -Theoden

"Within our pants we shall outlast them." -Theoden

"I passed out of pants and time. Darkness took me. But it was not the end. I've been sent back, until my pants are back on" - Gandalf

"Go on Sam, ask Rosie for her pants." -Frodo

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#2 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 14 November 2004 - 07:05 PM

NERD!
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#3 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 14 November 2004 - 07:55 PM

Hehe the irony of that statement kills me.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#4 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 14 November 2004 - 08:05 PM

I stand by my hypocritical accusation!




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#5 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 09:21 PM

All hail the pants game!
Check out my crappy drawings!

Chyld is an ignorant slut.

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- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#6 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 10:07 PM

Hey come on people dont be lazy, post some of your own. Being the only one to do this I feel like an uber-nerd when I just want to be a regular nerd, or maybe nerd first class.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#7 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 10:14 PM

One ring for the elven kings under the sky
seven for the dwarf lords who have all they want
nine rings for mortal men doomed to die
one for the dark lord in his dark pants

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#8 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 15 November 2004 - 10:29 PM

My excuse: I don't have the DVDs and I left my books at home.

Yes, I can be an idiot like that some times.
Check out my crappy drawings!

Chyld is an ignorant slut.

QUOTE
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- Campbell Bean (David Tennant), Takin' Over the Asylum, 1994
XD
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#9 User is offline   SimeSublime Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 01:36 AM

I mentioned it in the other thread, but read the Harry Potter books using 'wang' instead of 'wand'. Hilarity ensues.
The Green Knight, SimeSublime the Puffinesque, liker of chips and hunter of gnomes.
JM's official press secretary, scientific advisor, diplomat and apparent antagonist?
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#10 User is offline   Madam Corvax Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 02:39 AM

JM – I responded to your plea and I was honestly racking my brains this morning for some funny „pants”. I conclude that this type of humour must have something to do with Anglo-Saxon culture, because the ones I was able to come up with are so bad, that I decided to post them anyway – they are so unfunny, that they are almost hilarious, I think.

So, here is my very bad selection:

Sam to Galadriel “You don’t have any more of those nice shiny pants” [you gave to Merry and Pippin].

Galadriel to Frodo “And to Ringbearer – the pants of Earendil”.

Gimli to Legolas “I asked for one of her golden pants. She gave me three”.

Arwen to Aragorn “ I choose mortal pants”

Eowyn to Aragorn “Women of this country learnt long ago. Those without pants can still die upon them”.

U-uugh, the last one is simply disgusting. I think this is sufficient sample of how bad my jokes are. Really, this must be cultural.
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#11 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 06:00 AM

Madam- On the contrary, those are all quite good, but especially the last one, I should have thought of that, great work!

Here's a new one from me, Gollum to... Gollum

"We wait til he's asleep and then we take off his pants, then we be the master!"

and one from Gandalf...

"From the highest peak to the lowest dungeon I fought the Balrog of Morgoth until at last I threw down my pants and smote his ruin upon the mountain!"

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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#12 User is offline   Vwing Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 07:03 PM

Yeah did this for Star Wars a little too, so I guess I am officially a geek. I mean, I have spent a year in a forum discussing SW...but still smile.gif

Alright, from my foggy recollection of the LOTR dialogue I'll try my hand at these.

"Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants."

"Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her pants."

"You know the laws of our land, the laws of your father. If you let them go your pants are forfeit."
"Then they are forfeit."

"You have no pants here, Gandalf the Gray."

"And Frodo begins to realize the quest will take his pants."

"I told you to take the wizard's pants!"

"Do I not still have your pants?"
"You have my pants, father."

"Our pants now lie with 2 little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness."

That's all I got for now.
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#13 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 07:26 PM

"From the ashes a fire shall be woken
a light from the shadows shall spring
renewed shall be blade that was broken
the pantsless again shall be king"

Gandalf's letter to Frodo and the party.

"Field mice climb up in my pants and they tickle me something awful" - Treebeard

Quote

I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
0

#14 User is offline   NinevriseAV Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 07:36 PM

At the request of my brother...

Legolas:You would die before your pants fell!

Aragorn: Are you wearing pants?

Elrond: Frodo bring forth the pants.

Rider of Rohan: The king does not recognize allies, not even his own pants.

Eomer: May these pants fare you better than their former masters.

Legolas: I have not the pants to tell you, for me the grief is still too near

Frodo: Bilbo found it... in Gollum's pants.

Frodo: Underpants. My name is Underpants.

Gandalf: Its Saruman!
Aragorn: He’s trying to bring down the pants!

Aragorn: Not idly do the pants of Lorien fall.

Eomer: Too long have you watched my sister. Too long have you haunted her pants.

Gandalf: Your hands would remember their old strength better if they were to grasp your pants.

Theoden: I want every man and strong lad able to bear pants.

Legolas: Your pants are with you, Aragorn.

Gollum: Stupid fat hobbit! Ruin nice pants!
Hammer/Publick 2012! WHITEHOUSE GO!
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#15 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 16 November 2004 - 07:51 PM

Finally, the sister typed entity shows why she is truely the lord of the lord of the pants.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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