[Chefelf]

Yesterday, as I entered the subway station, I noticed a man behind the gates sort of staggering around. This is not anything so remarkable as to necessarily draw my attention on its own. However, what this gentleman did next was truly amazing.

I swiped my MetroCard and entered the station and observed the man stumble over to the wall. This wall was covered in a giant advertisement for Mayor Bloomberg who, on Tuesday, won the mayoral election by a landslide. This being said, the victory celebration for Bloomberg was about to end a little early.

The man approached the face of Bloomberg and I saw his hands go from his sides to the front of his pants in the unmistakable formation of a man about to take a leak. Still, nothing out of the ordinary.

What this man did next was what got me. As he commenced to pee on the face of New York City's recently re-elected mayor he decided that he wasn't going to be satisfied with just that. He then said, in a slow, deliberate and loud voice:

"Bloombeeeerg!" (pause) "Where's my Money?"

I'm not sure what that means exactly but what I am sure of is that that display was sensational.

Bravo, peeing man in the subway station. Bravo.

[Blackwolf]

Well, well! A man peeing in the subway, wanting money out of our Mayor, eh? That, dear Chefelf, is nothing compared against the similar incident I had to deal with a few days ago.

An obviously drunk homeless person, and the woman he was with, stumbled into the subway car I was riding in --- and literally begged the assumbled commuters for (are ye sitting down?) a $20 bill! At that point, I completely lost it! A $20 bill, at 8:30 in the morning?! HOW DARE YOU! Who the hell do you think we are --- an ATM?!?! What planet be ye from, you sanctimonious scootlesnoot? Honestly, this was the kind of thing about our subways that your humble Dragonmaster could take no more, dear Chefelf --- some people, you see, tend to be weirder than others. Needless to say, the fool left the car when he heard my explosive rant.

On the opposite spectrum, there are good things your Dragonmaster can celebrate about the subway. Falling in love with a Faerie is one of them.

She was turquoise, I believe, and as winged and as wise as any denizen of Milord Oberon's Faerie Court. The pea-brain'd commuters knew not (but I did!) that she was, in truth, a "Living Statue," so named because she would move only if you inserted a coin of the realm in her medium-siz'd box. Though I did not do so, I can honestly say I immediately fell in love! I hope to seek her out again this afternoon (I'll let ye know).

More tales soon.

Master Blackwolf

[Otal Nimrodi]

*sniff* The horrors of living in New York. Well, the city part at least. I may have visited there once, and gotten a headache. Or I could just be imagining it. Right now, it could go either way.

[Jeff]

Was it this man?



-Jeff

[Otal Nimrodi]

Duff-Man! Ooh-yeah!

[Chefelf]

Blackwolf,

I read that tale of the $20 on your blog. Amazing what some will request. Last night a guy came up to me holding out a hat. I dug into my pocket to get some change and while I did that he started doing a little boogie dance as I searched for change.

Jeff,

I think that might've been the guy.

[Jordan]

HOly crap is that the real blackwolf? Must be! I didn't know you posted here!

This post has been edited by Jordan: 11 November 2005 - 08:33 PM

[J m HofMarN]

Reminds me of that scene in your review of "The Sword and the Sorcerer"

I'd love to have seen Talon yell "CROOOMWEEEELLLLL!" and then whip it out and pee on the guy.

[SimeSublime]

Hang on, a guy peeing on a wall on the subway is normal? Bloody hell.

[Otal Nimrodi]

It would be humorous if Bloomberg had been around there at the time. And either

A: Given the guy money

Or

B: Said "In your back pocket"

[Blackwolf]

HOly crap is that the real blackwolf? Must be! I didn't know you posted here!

Yes, dear Jordan. It is indeed the geniune article. And I have been a little busy, and yes, I again located the faerie maiden I spoke of hither yesterday. Anywho, if you doubt that there are still dreamers left in the Multiverse, pray, remember the name
Baxter Owen Graham. This young rooster, from faraway Whitefish, Montana, along with his parents and his art teacher, are all partners in a company called Drumstick Media --- and together, they have published Baxter's first children's story, Old King Stinky Toes, now available in bookstores as well as through Amazon.com and Barnes&Noble.com.

He's called Old King Stinky Toes because --- duh! --- his toes stink! Yet they come in handy when a bumbling dragon lays waste to the King's lands. When no one else will battle the beastie, it's up to Old King Stinky Toes to save the day! (And yes, I have advised young Baxter to get the King some Odor-Eaters!)

More soon!

Master Blackwolf

This post has been edited by Blackwolf: 12 November 2005 - 12:36 PM

[Jordan]

Ya, I won't be reading that any time soon, considering I'm 24!

This post has been edited by Jordan: 12 November 2005 - 01:54 PM

[Otal Nimrodi]

Now now, be nice to the good wizard.

[Jordan]

Don't you find it weird that he just plugged a kids book?

[Otal Nimrodi]

Well, frankly, he plugs a lot. Now, just bask in his celebrity-ness.