[Xombie]

1) All Jar Jar's scenes removed from TPM, replaced by a 22 minutes of lesbian sex between Natalie Portman and Keira Knightley.

2) Digitally replace Hayden Christensen in AOTC with Gilbert Gottfried. Give him exactly the same lines.

3) Replace Palpatine's voice in all the films with Mr. Burns from the Simpsons.

4)Digitally add a Fonzie jacket to Boba Fett. Give him a catch phrase to say every time he's on screen like "Dy-No-Mite" or "What'ch you talkin' about, Vader?"

5) Digitally replace the muppet who sits next to Lando in the Millenium Falcon with the Pets.com sock puppet.

6) When the Emperor suggests bringing Luke over to the dark side in RotJ, Vader now exclaims "Yipppeeee!"

7) Digitally replace the cackliing muppet in Jabba's lair with Triumph the Insult Dog Comic.

8) Natalie Portman and Kiera Knightley now have a...wait....I've covered that one.


9)Digitally replace Jabba's muppet band with The Banna Splits.

[Just your average movie goer]

1. After seeing Something Awful's little Star Wars images, I think I have another suggestion for you...

Replace Threepio and R2-D2 with Tom Servo and Crow from Mystery Science Theater.

2. Put those expanding explosion rings around every explosion, including that droid blowing its motivator outside the Lars homestead in A New Hope.

3. Every time a rebel pilot's ship blows up, replace "I'm hit.", "It came from behind." or whatever with "Ah, crap!"

4. Replace Jabba the Hutt with Jack Nicholson. When Han says to him, "Look, I'll pay you triple. You're throwing away a fortune, don't be a fool!", have Jack Nicholson turn to one of his guards and say "Would you mind getting him out of the way, son? He's using up my oxygen."

5. Rather than feeding dancing girls to the rancor, have him throw down gungans, Salacious Crumb look-alikes, Ree-Yees (that ridiculous three eye goat dude with the baseball-glove hands) and sometimes, just have him throw down tennis balls.

6. Have someone drop a grenade down the Sarlaac's gullet.

7. Put a billiard table on the Mellenium Falcon.

8. Show Chewbacca actually tearing people's arms out of their sockets.

9. When Darth Vader tells Luke that he is his father, instead of going "No. No. That's not true... (etc) ", just have him simply cry out "Oh, the humanity!"

10. Find room for the characters to go back to the Mos Eisley cantina for a few drinks in The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, even if it makes absolutely no sense and destroys the credibility of each film.

[barend]

Xombie, gold.

esp 1 & 2.

This post has been edited by barend: 17 September 2004 - 08:21 PM

[Despondent]

F'kin A, bubba.

[jariten]

2. Put those expanding explosion rings around every explosion, including that droid blowing its motivator outside the Lars homestead in A New Hope.

4. Replace Jabba the Hutt with Jack Nicholson. When Han says to him, "Look, I'll pay you triple. You're throwing away a fortune, don't be a fool!", have Jack Nicholson turn to one of his guards and say "Would you mind getting him out of the way, son? He's using up my oxygen."

[Paladin]

6. Have someone drop a grenade down the Sarlaac's gullet.

I've had that idea ever since I first saw the darn scene all those years ago!

[J m HofMarN]

Also, every planet that's not Tatooine will now be replaced with, you guessed it, Naboo.