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Sub plot for ep3 Ooooh look an obscure character

#1 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 02 September 2004 - 06:56 PM

Remember that guy who told Darth Vader that they were working double shifts on the death star in RoTJ? Well in keeping with Lucas' tradition of injecting utterly pointless characters into main rolls in the PT here's some scenes from the third movie.

Enter Obi Wan Kenobi, lightsaber blazing as he murders henchman of the evil darth Sidious.

Obi Wan: I wonder why all of Chancelor Palpatine's aides are so well armed. Dosn't make a bit of sense to me...

Sniveling Henchman: Ah, so, it is you. Well it looks like we shall have to duel.

Obi Wan: Indeed it does, clearly this battle cannot be decided by me braining you with my lightsaber, but by a game of patty cake. But tell me, my nemesis, why did you bring your son?

Sniveling Henchman's son: I wanted to go to the fair, don't ask me!

Sniveling Henchman: I wanted him to see me doing battle with the Jedi so that he could remember this day, and one day act as the sniveling henchman in command of the building of a weapon that will help Darth Sidious to rule the galaxy!

Obi Wan: Darth who now?

Sniveling Henchman: Never you mind! Patty cake patty cake baker's bread!

Obi Wan: (the battle growing heated now) Bake me a loaf as fast as you can!

Sniveling Henchman: GAAAARGH! I am slain. Son, follow in my footsteps... avenge... me...

Sniveling Henchman's son: -Picks up his fathers uniform-

Enter Palpatine

Palpatine: You, boy, go get my ship ready to depart

Sniveling Henchman's son: Yes m'lord, but it will take a long time

Palpatine: I hope not, for your sake.

Obi Wan: Oh, hello Mr. Chancelor, fancy meeting you here.

Palpatine: Sure is, buh-bye.

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#2 User is offline   Just your average movie goer Icon

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Posted 02 September 2004 - 07:09 PM

J M, this could turn out to be true! Cool post by the way. I suppose they will also beef up Hammerhead's role in the great changes that sweep the galaxy too.

And no doubt, we will learn what an integral part Nien Numb played in all of this as well. dry.gif
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#3 User is offline   barend Icon

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Posted 02 September 2004 - 08:39 PM

they should make the DS plans a relay race:

announcer (horse race commintator voice):"and it's off, doku passes it to a young moti who refuses to believe he just met a sith lord, but in turn passes it to baby snaggletooth, who ducks into the moseisly cantina construction site, where he passes it to the forman, a young guy named hammerhead, ooh, he's got a deep voice that one, and now it's in the hands bossk, oh no wait that's bossks dad, and he's running along but wait, he's snagged his wookie pelt on something, it's an animal rights protester, named han solo, and he's on a skate bord, the fastest skatbord in the galaxy, it made tony hawk run in less than 12 city blocks, oh but wait, a young lietenant Neida has snatched it off the kid, and delivered it to Bib fortuna, etc. etc."
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#4 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 09:12 AM

The best thing about the Prequel trilogy is that no matter how over the top or outrageously dumb a scenario you create, you can be reasonably certain that there's at least a 50% chance it could actually happen. I would have never imagine Bobba Fett or Greedo would appear in the prequels.... but it happened.
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#5 User is offline   Helena Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 09:17 AM

I'd still say there's a good chance of a young Han Solo appearing in Episode 3. Probably his parents will be murdered by stormtroopers or something, giving a 'brilliant motivation' for his decision to join the Rebellion... :yuck:
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The sandpeople had women and children. We know this because Anakin killed them how could he tell? The children might be smaller but I never saw a sandperson with breasts. Did they hike their skirts and show him some leg or something?

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Also, I can see the point of wanting to kidnap a human and use her as a slave, but they didn't. They tied her to a flimsy easel for a month. It's assumed they had to feed and give her water. What for? Was she purely ornamental? I can understand them wanting the droids, you can sell those for a lot of money, but a chick who's only skills are finding non-existand mushrooms and getting randomly pregnant, you're not going to get much.

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#6 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 09:45 AM

QUOTE (Helena @ Sep 3 2004, 10:17 AM)
I'd still say there's a good chance of a young Han Solo appearing in Episode 3. Probably his parents will be murdered by stormtroopers or something, giving a 'brilliant motivation' for his decision to join the Rebellion... :yuck:

Probably an 85% chance in my estimation.
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#7 User is offline   Paladin Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 09:50 AM

Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3. I know because I read it in the news about a year back or so. I don't think that any young version of Han is going to be there, but I'm not going to be surprised if they are.

As for the main topic, I'm afraid that I didn't get it. huh.gif
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#8 User is offline   Chefelf Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 09:57 AM

QUOTE (Paladin @ Sep 3 2004, 10:50 AM)
Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3. I know because I read it in the news about a year back or so. I don't think that any young version of Han is going to be there, but I'm not going to be surprised if they are.

the thing is that the Chewbacca thing was impossible to hide since Peter Mayhew had to sign the whole Lucasfilm Contract of Silence so he wouldn't be killed for leaking information. Therefore we know that Chewbacca will appear. Since Harrison Ford won't be playing young Han (though it would be hilarious if he did) we won't know for sure until it's released.
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#9 User is offline   Mike Mac from NYU Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 12:53 PM

QUOTE
Chewbacca is going to be in Episode 3. I know because I read it in the news about a year back or so. I don't think that any young version of Han is going to be there, but I'm not going to be surprised if they are. 


the thing is that the Chewbacca thing was impossible to hide since Peter Mayhew had to sign the whole Lucasfilm Contract of Silence so he wouldn't be killed for leaking information. Therefore we know that Chewbacca will appear. Since Harrison Ford won't be playing young Han (though it would be hilarious if he did) we won't know for sure until it's released.


I gotta agree with you on that, elf. smile.gif

A young Han Solo appearing in the PT films would be hilarious. laugh.gif

I would watch Ep. III just to see that. :yuck:

Maybe, have a scene in which Padme runs acoss this cocky little kid who keeps calling her sweetheart or something...
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#10 User is offline   Jordan Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 12:58 PM

At this point I don't think even the die hard fans care about cameos. They just want answers. Many Fans use "wait for episode 3 to wrap up the story then you can complain" as defense when I attack TPM and AOTC.

They think this one movie will make the previous two better. They also think it will tie up the PT and leave no loose ends.
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#11 User is offline   Commoner Icon

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Posted 03 September 2004 - 01:25 PM

The funny thing is, they said the exact same thing about Episode II.
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Posted 04 September 2004 - 12:17 AM

QUOTE
At this point I don't think even the die hard fans care about cameos. They just want answers. Many Fans use "wait for episode 3 to wrap up the story then you can complain" as defense when I attack TPM and AOTC.

They think this one movie will make the previous two better. They also think it will tie up the PT and leave no loose ends.


That is so damn true, isn't it? How many times does Jariten fall back on that one? That's why I think we'll all need to be kind to Jariten after the third movie comes out. Here's a guy who has been sticking with George Lucas the whole way, like a battered wife staying in a relationship with an abusive husband.

WE can't get hurt any more by these films. Because we don't have any expectations for the third one except a great list of hilarious reasons to hate it (I'm expecting over 100 this time around). But alas, poor Jariten... he's going to get hurt, guys. So we'll all have to pitch in and help him through it.
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#13 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 04 September 2004 - 12:25 AM

QUOTE
As for the main topic, I'm afraid that I didn't get it.


This was a satyre on the inclusion of Jango and Boba Fett in episode two. Boba had as many lines as the guy on the death star and yet he gets like two movies for his backstory. I think the guy from the death star should too. As a matter of fact since Lucas won't yield to good fan requests (like eat shit and kill yourself) maybe he'll go for a bad one. Howabout it folks let's have a campaign to have the death star guy included in ep three.

all together now! WE WANT DEATH STAR GUY, WE WANT DEATH STAR GUY!

As for the young Han Solo I think he'd be approximately ten or twenty at this time so we can expect to see dialogue like this.

"Fuck off Chewie, you've held me back long enough. I'm going to fly the kessel run faster than anyone before me! I will be the greatest of all smugglers!"

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Posted 04 September 2004 - 12:35 AM

"But careful of Imperial patrols. If you have to dump your shipment of spice, Jabba will be furious."

"Jabba? Hah - small time loser. He doesn't scare ME."
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#15 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 04 September 2004 - 12:53 AM

AHAHAHAHAHA that's so good because Han really DOES drop a shipment of spice and Jabba gets mad at him. HOHOHOHOHO Oh I can't stop laughing, I only just got that one.
















Is EXACTLY what I'd say if I was an idiot.

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I don't know about you but I have never advocated that homosexuals, for any reason, be cut out of their mother's womb and thrown into a bin.
- Deucaon toes a hard line on gay fetus rights.
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