[Just your average movie goer]

Star Wars became terminally ill in 1997 with some very troubling symptoms including a CGI Jabba the Hutt and Greedo-shooting-first syndrome. We thought perhaps with the new DVD release in September, these symptons may have disappeared... but Star Wars' troubles only got worse. With Temeura Morrison dubbing the voices of all the stormtroopers, Star Wars passed away.

Goodbye Star Wars. You were a breathtaking cinema escapade that awoke the spirit of fun and adventure in all of us. We will miss you.




The Empire Strikes Back began to show terrible ailments in 1997 with Luke screaming as he fell down the giant exhaust tunnel in Cloud City and Darth Vader arriving on his Star Destroyer in the middle of another scene, cutting it in two. While these seemed to be fairly mild, the movie has detoriorated rapidly and now, with the new DVD release coming, The Empire Strikes Back is now deceased, due to terrible new dialogue from Ian McDiarmind and an awful dubbing job, once again due to Temeura Morrison.

Goodbye The Empire Strikes Back. You were the greatest sequel ever made and one of the most incredible movies of all-time. You transcended your genre. We will miss you too.




Return of the Jedi has suffered the worst, having the dreaded Hayden Christiansen inserted into its final sequence. Obviously, this wound was fatal but we can be thankful that death came quickly to Return of the Jedi and was not slow and lingering.

Goodbye Return of the Jedi. True you had ewoks, many wasted opportunities, retreaded old ground, you were dull and uninspiring and really let your predecessors down... but you had a incredibly well choreographed space battle and an amazing climactic showdown between Luke and Darth Vader so we will miss you too.

[Paladin]

Farewell, old friend.

[Jordan]

Shut up JAYMG. It's not true, I refuse to belive that Jango Fett is the voice of all the storm troopers. AND THERE IS NO WAY HAYDEN"S FACE IS IN ROTJ.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashit.

[Helena]

The next title from LucasArts:

[HK 47]

The next title from LucasArts:

LOL! Nice one Helena. The somethingawful guys have done a lot of this before. They're disgruntled Star Wars fans too.

Quote Something Awful:
"Some people think that the Special Editions are the modern day equivalent of Leonardo da Vinci adding a mustache to the Mona Lisa, while others disagree and say it's more like Vincent Van Gogh painting gigantic cocks into the foreground of Starry Night. Either way, I was given the task of digging up as much information on the monumental dvd release as possible."

See the entire article here:
http://www.something...cles.php?a=1986

[Just your average movie goer]

Fantastic poster and article, guys! Thanks for the link. Can't get enough of seeing that picture of George Lucas grinning alongside the "Fuck your childhood!" slogan. Fantastic work.

Oh, and Jordan - search your feelings. You know it to be true.

This post has been edited by Just your average movie goer: 31 July 2004 - 08:58 AM

[CowboyCurtis]

Hilarious because it's so true!!

I'm not ready to say goodbye to Star Wars yet. I'm not "planning" on seeing Ep. III until and only if it gets good word-of-mouth.

[Just your average movie goer]

You might never see it with such impossible standards.

[civilian_number_two]

Great thread, jyamg, and curse your wicked hide!

STAR WARS is not dead; it lives on in our Laserdisc an videotape collections.

Anyone here who buys the special edition DVDs despite having made a big deal about not wanting them is a total asshole. I don't care how shiny they look, just leave 'em on the shelf: old is better than new about half the time; this is a case in point.

[Despondent]

JYAMG, thanks for the inspiring posters, erm, tombstones. that stuff is great.

Helena, Thanks for sharin'! That grimace with the quote is priceless.

Civilian, I really respect your videodisc collection. In the mid to late 80's people were investing in home theater/laserdisc setups just for SW. Now anyone can go to walmart and get the lamest, I mean latest cinematic experience at home. dullards. cling to the old ways.

Mr. Guest thinks we should thank lucas for what he's given us. Those films have no meaning to him now. It is too late.

dead or alive, this thread really does seem like a funeral. Somebody let Jar Jar in to lighten things up. Oh that's right. ROTJ. Gungans.

[Vwing]

*tear* I go on vacation for a week and come back to find this?!! Is this official? Oh god he's just gone too far now. He's mad with power.

[Just your average movie goer]

It's official.

You can read about it under the article "Not-so-Special Editions" here.

Just scroll down to the bottom of the page. You'll find the sad news soon enough.

[Paladin]

Anyone here who buys the special edition DVDs despite having made a big deal about not wanting them is a total asshole. I don't care how shiny they look, just leave 'em on the shelf: old is better than new about half the time; this is a case in point.

I'll be buying the DVD, but ONLY for seeing what kind of butchery has come onn to the Star Wars saga. I won't watch it until Episode III comes out on DVD, by then I'll have I and II on DVD too so I can see the whole thing in one long sitting. I'll probably be half-way insane by the time it finishes, though.

Once it's over, it's over. I'll shelf my ENTIRE Star Wars collection and never watch them again, and I'll be doing whatever I can to forget about them. I'll find something else to take their place, either created by me or by someone else, but I'll find something.

[Jordan]

Ok let me get this right here. When Luke removes Vader's helmut, we will see Hayden? Or will we just see Hayden in the final scene when Anakin returns as a Ghost?

I can live with the ghost, for the time being, but not the other scene. It's not right to pervert classics. Going back and re-creating history is something that villians want do in flims.

[Just your average movie goer]

It's not right to pervert classics.

No, it's not right. I think the original Star Wars films should be heritage listed for preservation.

On another note, a lot of you guys on this forum seem to have the laserdiscs. These things never came out in Australia, or at least in Brisbane. Are they still in circulation in America or are they now hard-to-find rarities?