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Smugglers disguise bologna as car seat Saturday, November 29, 2003

#1 K1NGWARREN

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Posted 29 November 2003 - 03:19 AM

QUOTE

Smugglers disguise bologna as car seat

Border agents last week landed a meaty bust, seizing 756 pounds of bologna arranged into the shape of a car seat and covered with blankets in a man's pickup.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers seized 81 rolls of Mexican bologna Friday at the Paso Del Norte bridge as the pickup entered the United States.

"It puts the ultimate consumer at risk," said customs spokesman Roger Maier. "Who knows how long these products have gone without refrigeration or without proper handling?"

http://www.azcentral...gnabust-ON.html

Lesson learned: make sure your bologna is properly handled.

#2 Chefelf

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Posted 29 November 2003 - 10:08 AM

Who smuggles Bologna? Isn't there plenty of it in the U.S.? Doesn't it cost $1.19 a pound?

#3 Ninja Duck

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Posted 29 November 2003 - 10:43 AM

But don't you know, it's Mexican bologna! We can't let the Mexicans do anything they might profit from.

And who is the ultimate consumer, anyway? I can imagine some guy in Wal-Mart, sitting on a throne and ordering the lesser consumers to do his bidding. His voice sounds like Bill Gates.

#4 sinister grinner

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Posted 29 November 2003 - 08:55 PM

who in the HELL smuggles bologna. why is it so special that you have to smuggle it. what's wrong with it. if they don't want people selling bad meat to the "ultimate consumer" let them bring it into the states.

Thirteen and a half.
Twelve jurors,
one judge,
and half a chance.

#5 looktothesky

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Posted 30 November 2003 - 02:43 AM

"without proper handling"? It was formed into a chair! That's the best handling in the world!

PRECIOUS VELIUS....

#6 Chefelf

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Posted 30 November 2003 - 10:35 AM

Ahh, the lost art of bologna sculpting.

#7 Emu

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Posted 30 November 2003 - 07:19 PM

a. "Have you got it?"
b. "yeah, it's right there."
a. "where?"
b. "you're sitting on it."
(short pause)
a. "ah, okay."
(another pause)
a. ".....Bologna?!!"
b. "Of course"
a. "oh."

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#8 sinister grinner

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Posted 30 November 2003 - 10:29 PM

why do they have to smuggle it. :angry:

Thirteen and a half.
Twelve jurors,
one judge,
and half a chance.

#9 Reader

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Posted 01 December 2003 - 03:58 PM

That balogni will sell if they market it right.

"Free prize within evey can!!"

(the meat's bound to get things stuck in it along the way)

"Nothing is real, all is permitted"
- Hassan i Sabbah
"There's nothing wrong with anything."
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#10 Heccubus

Ugh.

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Posted 01 December 2003 - 04:41 PM

Yeah, like road debris and so forth. Of all things to smuggle though...bologna? Well, at least now I know to never try and take a sandwich through customs.

Customs Guy: What's this?
Me: It's my lunch. See, it's a delicious...
Customs Guy: *into radio* We've got a 10-13 at gate B, meat smuggler!
Me: But I just wanted a sandwich...
Customs Guy: Suspect is getting violent, taking decisive action *removes nightstick*
Me: Ah nuts.

#11 looktothesky

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Posted 02 December 2003 - 08:00 AM

If they put a novelty hat / horn on it it would get through customs easily!

PRECIOUS VELIUS....

#12 sinister grinner

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Posted 02 December 2003 - 10:09 AM

why do they have to smuggle the bologna? does it have narcotics in it?

Thirteen and a half.
Twelve jurors,
one judge,
and half a chance.

#13 WalrusOfPlastic

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Posted 02 December 2003 - 11:20 PM

I want to know who draws the line between a car-seat made of balogna and balogna disguised as a car-seat. It's important that a line be drawn, or all animal biproduct, car saftey devices would be siezed when any saftey concious, meat loving consumer crossed the border.