[der Mudda]

In view of his latest topic I feel I must apologise to the ladies on the site for my child's twisted sense of humour.

The problem must have been caused when he ran into a glass door in Portsmouth and split his eyebrow open. We had to laugh!!

[Jane Sherwood]

The problem must have been caused when he ran into a glass door in Portsmouth and split his eyebrow open. We had to laugh!!

That's funny no matter who it happens to! Kind of lets you know how the birds feel, doesn't it?

[Pyewacket]

No, no. It's "Mistah DAHH-cee".

[Rhubarb]

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, CONDENSED VERSION


"Oh, I SAY, Mister DAH-ceee! What a perfectly marvellous evening!"

*flutters fan eclectically against chest*


"Miss Bennet, kindly keep the hell out of my face. I'm busy brooding, and being aloof. Now get lost."

*strikes Byronic pose filled with sneering contempt*


"Mister DAH-cee, I find your manner quite intolerable!"


"Yes, it's my sole character dimension. Did I mention that you're a bitch and I hate you? I also hate puppies, and pretty flowers."


"My character angle is that of a vapid spiteful cow, and therefore I find myself obliged to jeer at your sulky petulance. and make snide comments pertaining to my own superiority. And now, if you don't mind, I must away to my group of shrewish friends to say cutting things about you whilst glancing in your direction and giggling."


"Alright. I'll stand here and pose Byron-ically whilst turning down hot chicks who want to dance with me cos I'm so rich and awesome. Incidentally, my friend is a jerkface."


"No, he isn't. Oh wait, yes he is. And oh look, my sister's whoring herself out to some soldiers."


"Jolly bad show, that. Let's get hitched."


"Yes, let's."

This post has been edited by Rhubarb: 01 July 2004 - 01:08 AM

[Heccubus]

*applauds*

[Chyld]

Ah, tis all true. I had to write six sides of writing on that damned book for English two years ago. That's shedloads, by my standards.

"Yes, it's my sole character dimension. Did I mention that you're a bitch and I hate you? I also hate puppies, and pretty flowers."

Well, that made me giggle like an idiot...

[Jane Sherwood]

Hmmmm...Should I take this as a sign that I should avoid reading anything by Jane Austin if I can possibly help it?

[Chyld]

Hmmmm...Should I take this as a sign that I should avoid reading anything by Jane Austin if I can possibly help it?

I don't know, I'm not acquainted with her works. Ask Rhubarb, she seems cleverer than me.

[Jane Sherwood]

Seems like she's cleverer than most of us, really...

[Rhubarb]

Ooh, praise. Me like.

Wanna know about Jane Austen, eh? Okay, sure thing... just remember, you asked for it.

Austen is alright so long as you can get past the flowery language, although the same could be said for any early Victorian writer (I think Austen was late Regency, if the costumes in the tv adaptions are anything to go by, but meh). Pride and Prejudice is easily her best, and I do actually like it, despite my previous post. It isn't so much a love story as a rather biting satire of early Victorian/late Regency society, ie. mother of the lead character (lead character being Lizzie Bennet) is obsessed with getting her five daughters married and goes into hysterics whenever an eligable gentleman pops into view. Her father, representing Austen's own boredom with the situation if I'm not mistaken, is rather dry and is the only character to not give a damn about the whole business of the marriage market (except Darcy, I'll get to him). Her two younger sisters kinda represent how Austen must have felt about other girls' obsessions with marriage, all giggly and squealy and wailing about wanting new hats and dresses to look nice for the boys - you're obviously meant to hate the pair of them.

The two older sisters are the 'straight' characters; they just amble through the book, reacting to everything else. I find it interesting that the oldest sister, the sweet-tempered, obedient, beautiful God-fearing ideal woman, is called 'Jane'. I guess it's an inside joke or something, since Jane Austen didn't originally publish under her real name, and no one except her closest friends and family would have known.

Darcy is awesome. He's all rude and aloof and is representative Austen's own cynicism with society, I think. As a character, he's fucking cool and totally hilarious, if you're into the sulky, angst-ridden, look-down-my-nose-at-all-the-other-characters types, which I am. It's totally worth a read if you can actually, you know, read it... lots of people have as much trouble with it as with Shakespeare because the use of language is so different to today. I estimate I skipped roughly a quarter of it, all up. My concentration span is all fucked though. Book is still good.

I've only read one other Austen book - Mansfield Park - and if you're familiar with it, you'll understand why I have never read any more. A lot of historians suspect that it was written by one of Austen's sisters, because the main character (Fanny Price, if I recall) is such a timid, mousey, insipid, religiously-obsessed weed... completely the opposite of Lizzie Bennet. You wanna know what the book is like, watch the film. Then imagine the lead character as a timid mousey, insipid, religiously-obsessed weed. Oh yeah, and take out the sex. Boring as all fuck. Only finished the book cos I was sick and had nothing better to do.

If you are actually thinking about reading Austen, just read Pride and Prejudice. If you like it, I've heard good things about 'Emma' and 'Sense and Sensibility'.

Otherwise, just read A.C. Doyle's Sherlock Holmes short stories. 'Scuse me while I shamelessly plug them. They're way easier to digest, and are segmented into convenient bite-sized chunks. Plus Holmes is THE coolest character you will ever read, EVER. He's so awesome. Worship the Holmes.

[Supes]

What a wonderful thread. To go from talking about the base levels of our language to quoting one of the great works in the English language. Shouldn't be to long before someone presents the entire works of Shakespeare in 90 minutes.

[Jane Sherwood]

Well, when you put it that way...

(*runs off to search her mother's ancient bookcase for a copy*)

Also, I'm one of those people who don't have much trouble understanding Shakespeare at all, really - when I feel like it, that is...


NOTE TO SUPES: I have all of Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy memorized and can say it in about thirty seconds, does that work?

This post has been edited by Jane Sherwood: 01 July 2004 - 11:13 PM

[Supes]

NOTE TO SUPES: I have all of Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy memorized and can say it in about thirty seconds, does that work?

Yes Janey that works in a big way. I used to know both Hamlet's soliloquy and Mark Antony's speech from Julius Caesar. It's been a bit of a while though and I've realised that I can no longer recite them. Must brush up in the near future.

[Little princess]

Oh yes, Rhubarb, Mr Darcy is awesome. He truly does inspire awe, in this puny little bosom anyway. He couldn't be called anything but MISTER Darcy. Even in the throes of wild ecstatic passion, you'd find yourself moaning 'Oooooh..... Mister Darcy'.
As Rhubarb says, the books were written in the Regency to George IV period. Some critics think she should have mentioned the events going on in the wider world around her, like the Napoleonic wars, especially as her brother was serving on one of the ships that fought battles with the French navy. I like her safe cosy little world. I love the language too, even find myself talking like it for hours after I put the books down.
P and P, S and S, Emma, and Persuasion, my favourites. The film of Persuasion, I think was best, but was least popular, probably for the reasons I loved it. No'one was a raving beauty, it seemed to be filmed in natural light and candle or lamplight as it would have been. The clothes were wrinkled and worn, again as they would have been, no drycleaners or washing machines, and people expected to be a bit dirty, everyone was. It had an authentic feel about it.