Chefelf I must say that first, you're a genius, and second, I could not agree more with just about every single word you had to say about the prequels AND special editions...the orginals would have been better had George "crazy" Lucas just left them alone...seeing that the only thing he cares about now is special effects.
I am sure some people could read your articles and think that some of your gripes are "nitpicky", and they may even be right on some points, however these movies were so bad & dissapointing how in this world (or that one for that matter) could anyone complain about anything you had to say? I can definately understand how in your frustration that the greatest movie franchise of all time was being raped of it's mystique and innocense right before our very eyes, that you had to vent! I am actually surprised at how complete your list is, although these movies are so bad many, many more problems/inconsistencies could be pointed out. I could literally go on for the rest of my life about how bad these movies are. It's almost as if George Lucas didn't even watch his own orginal trilogy before he made the prequels!!! That's how inconsistent they are...you would also think that after 15 years in-between Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace, that he could have come up with something at least somewhat close to the originals. Alas, no.
Your gripes are more specific, but I wanted to point out some of the broader issues with the entire prequel franchise altogether...these basic things could literally cover every gripe you had about the movies. I know ALL of these things have been covered before, but I have been waiting for nine years now to gripe, and I have to get this off my chest or I will go to my grave hating G.L. (I can't even say his name) with everything in me...okay I will still go to my grave hating G.L. with everything in me...but here goes anyways, these are the things that bother me the most about the prequels:
1) Why is it the spaceships, cruisers, speeders, basically anything having to do with technology, is more advanced in the prequels, than in the original trilogy, which happened in a later time period??? Shouldn't this type of mistake be covered in "how to make a prequel 101"??? From the get-go it makes these movies inconsistent and DUMB...not withstanding the fact that none of the spaceships in the prequels are nearly as cool as the ones in the original trilogy...and that's NOT just my childhood talking. What kind of idiot would make this simple mistake in logic?
2) Dialogue Dialogue Diaglogue...or should I say lack of it. In this aspect these movies suffer from two distinct shortcomings. #1, the original trilogy had some of the best and most original dialogue ever put on film and equalling their greatness would be difficult for any filmmaker and #2, these movies just don't have any. Even if the original trilogy didn't exist for us to compare them to, the dialogue in these movies would still be among the worst dialogue I have ever heard in a movie. It just doesn't compare to the original trilogy on ANY level. It's almost as if George got everyone on set and just said, "ok, ad-lib". A prime example of this is when Qui-Gon (who by the way is the worst Jedi ever) wants Queen Amidala to go to Coruscant with him, and he sais to her "If you stay my feelings tell me that they will kill you". That's it? Are you kidding me? I heard that and it was painfully obvious that we were not in Kansas...er...Dagobah anymore.
3) Probably the most painful thing that happened for me in these movies, and the only scene/instance I will touch specifically, is the whole ridiculous midi-chlorian thing. It may very well be the dumbest idea G.L. has ever come up with, and after seeing all three prequels, that is a long list of dumb ideas. Qui-Gon said the word(s) midi-chlorians, and suddenly the movies of my youth lost any magic that hadn't already been destroyed in the first hour or so of The Phantom Menace. Doesn't G.L. understand that that's part of what made the original trilogy so great! He gave the Force a scientific explanation, and completely ruined it in less than 10 seconds. I must admit it was at this point of episode I that I realized where this saga was going, and I already knew I wouldn't like episodes II or III. It is this stupid midi-chlorian thing that gets me the most angry when I think of the prequels, so I'd better stop before I get too worked up and damage another laptop.
4) The acting. It could not have been more deplorable. Just as the dialogue, I can honestly say that if the original trilogies didn't exist, this would still be some of the worst acting I have ever seen. And I am a guy who thinks acting is overrated as a major barometer as to the quality of a movie. The only guy that was decent at all was Ian McDiarmid as Senator Palpatine, and he was only salvagable. It was obvious that G.L. only cared about special effects, and that every single other aspect of this movie was rushed, because the special effects is the ONLY thing about these movies that's any good. Everyone was equally horrible...Liam Neelson (I take the "equally" part back, he was definately the worst), Natalie Portman (even though she is still smoking hot), Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen...and these are well-known, respected actors! That's how I know that the only thing G.L. cared about was filming this as quickly as possible so he could get back to the studio and replace the "blue screen behind them". Who am I forgetting??? Oh yeah EVERYONE ELSE!!! The only thing that G.L. actually took time to think about was how he wanted the film to look...wait...that doesn't explain Jar Jar Binks.
There you go...sorry to take up so much of your time repeating things you have probably heard and thought about a thousand times, but I just couldn't take it anymore, I had to release...by the way I do have a bit of advice for you. You said in your review of episode I that you had been a Star Wars fan for the first 21 years of your life, and that you are now only a fan out of obligation. I am from Michigan, so I know a little bit about learning how to deal with being a fan of a terrible franchise (Detroit Lions) and I have learned that the only way to still enjoy original Star Wars Trilogy the way it should be enjoyed is to do what I do with the Lions...pretend they don't exist...I don't watch them, I don't acknowledge them (other than this post), I simply do like I do with the Lions and I ignore the prequels. Because let's be honest about it, the original Star Wars Trilogy is still the greatest movie franchise ever made...and you SHOULD be able to enjoy them. I hope this helps you in your search for peace from the prequels. By the way I am now a Patriots fan...and alot happier!
Steven
This post has been edited by Hoth: 30 December 2008 - 04:33 AM