Zero Punctuation - Crysis
#2
Posted 16 January 2008 - 02:02 PM
That is one badass baby.
#3
Posted 16 January 2008 - 02:06 PM
He didn't rip too much on the gameplay either. Quote, an "above-average shooter". He's practically lathering on the praise
Smashed up my integrity.
Smashed up what I believed in,
Smashed up what's left of me.
Smashed up my everything,
Smashed up all I thought was true,
'gonna smash myself to pieces,
I don't know what else to do.
#4
Posted 16 January 2008 - 03:31 PM
This game pretty much begs you to post your mid-range specs online to compare your e-penis to others and ask if you're having as much *ahem* performance problems.
#5
Posted 16 January 2008 - 06:14 PM
This post has been edited by Sylv: 16 January 2008 - 06:15 PM
#6
Posted 16 January 2008 - 06:40 PM
This post has been edited by Dr Lecter: 16 January 2008 - 06:54 PM
#7
Posted 16 January 2008 - 07:39 PM
Whoa, backtrack. HL2 ep3 rates slightly higher on the "Give me it NOW" list.
I hate endings like that, that just make you say GIVE ME THE REST OF THE STORY!!!
Smashed up my integrity.
Smashed up what I believed in,
Smashed up what's left of me.
Smashed up my everything,
Smashed up all I thought was true,
'gonna smash myself to pieces,
I don't know what else to do.
#8
Posted 16 January 2008 - 08:33 PM
I'm telling you by hook or by crook I shall aquire an 8800! But I'm not using it to play Crysis, god no. I don't see what all the fuss is about. I gather it's something to do with that lovely America fighting the evil boo hiss North Koreans which for some reason turns me off it at once.
#9
Posted 16 January 2008 - 09:20 PM
Pointless needling (hmm...) of old vets aside, I take your point. I've always prided myself on not caring about graphics either, though the fact that the only gaming systems I had up until 2001 were an NES and an original, four-AA-batteries, turn-the-little-dial, weighs-a-ton, beat-a-rhino-to-death-with-it Game Boy may have something to do with that.
And as I still lack regular access to any computer newer than this formerly-cream-colored '98 Gateway thing, I certainly haven't played Crysis. However you can hardly bash Yahtzee for praising the graphics when they are, according to everything I've heard, the basic reason this game exists and it's only real distinguishing feature.
Anyway, I liked the review. It started off very strong, but seemed to fade a bit as it went. Still one of the better ones though, and I've loving the internal conflict with his little review voice.
#11
Posted 17 January 2008 - 03:34 AM
Can anyone remind me which review the salad is from? I forgot already.
I'd say probably the Tabula Rasa one.
#13
Posted 17 January 2008 - 11:57 AM
That eBay painting is not fucking haunted! It's a fucking painting and it looks a bit scary, that's all there is to it!
#14
Posted 17 January 2008 - 12:05 PM
Tell that to little Johhny Hobbsin of Portland, Oregon. Oh, wait, you can't becuase after viewing the Haunted Ebay painting he is now nothing but a souless husk of a child.
#15
Posted 17 January 2008 - 02:50 PM
i wish i had a faster computer so i could render faster, but no game is worth updating your computer for
i post without caps to annoy sniffles. kisses ;)