Chefelf.com Night Life: Apocalyspe Wow! - Chefelf.com Night Life

Found this on some website:
"Harrison nearly worked with director George Lucas again on Apocalypse Now when Lucas was in line to direct the picture."

Could you imagine the movie had Lucas directed it?

A Lucasarian Apocalypse Now? Young Lucas was a good filmmaker, because he knew his limitations. But he grew old and overconfident. What would Elder Lucas do if he remade it now?

* CGI. Lots and lots of CGI.
* Dialog: "Kurtz, You irritate me like sand. It gets in your underwear and feels scratchy"
* Keep saying "I've got a bad feeling about this" so the force.net fanboys in the cinema can laugh while they masturbate
* Everyone is related: "No Captain Willaird, *I* am your father"
* Amusing caricatures of the Vietnamese: "Meesta Kurtz!"
* Find some way to introduce Wookies

the viet cong can be wookies

"i did it all for the wookie,..the wookie,... so you can take this cookie, and stick it in your a**"

What an appalling thought.

hahahaha
thats going on
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If Lucas had shot Apocalypse Now back in 1971, as he'd intended to, the film probably would have been more intelligent than his later efforts. Indeed, it probably could have been termed (dare I say it) a masterpiece.

He's always been pretty weak with dialogue, and that plays a pretty big role in apocalypse now. Mood he would have done wonderfully, possibly better than copola.

Well, his version of Apocalypse Now was supposed to be somewhat of an exaggerated dark-comedy, similar to Dr. Strangelove. If it had gone into production as he had intended, I'm guessing Peter Sellers would probably be praised today for not only playing Chance in Being There, but for making a comeback as Willard in this film. What a missed opportunity...

Greedo as the Dennis Hopper character. Ewoks as the tribe. Jabba as Kurtz. Lando as the boat captain. Wedge as Kilgore. The script practically writes itself!

If the film had of been a success, george lucas might have toned down later films, realizing that less is more. It has to seriously affect a director's judgement to be the owner and creator of the largest most successful sci fi series of all time.

Mmmm. Reminds me of Citizen Kane, almost...

*George Lucas lying on his deathbed* "Rosebud..."

Some people might find a Lucas made Apocalypse now funny.
I don't. Now that i read this post i can't but have nightmares for the rest of my life with that. As such i must remain awake for the rest of my life which is impossible. So i choose death. But because i can't just lose my will to live and die (how the fu*k did you manage that Padme, how?) i must commit suicide.

SUICIDE LETTER

After recent events i have lost the will to live, yet i don't just die (dammit). I wish to tell the world that the star wars prequels suck and George Lucas is to be blamed for that. Though, i wish him well and to make a lot of money, which i am sure he will (by exploiting funs propably). I am such a nice guy i know, no need to tell me. Just eulogize me and make sure that more entertainment will come from the prequels, entertainment their creator didn't offer. Entertainment like the one chefelf offered us with his "Reasons to hate Star Wars". May i rest in peace, may the force be with me and i'll be always with you. That's because you only made me stronger George you hear.

WILL

I lost my will to live. Oops wrong meaning of the word will.
I (like there is the slightest chance i'll tell you my name, It's more propable to find someone who enjoyed the prequels, and is NOT George Lucas, than tell you my real name.) leave my Star Wars games to my cousin who is the biggest Star Wars fun i've seen. He claims he has seen each (original) movie 1000 times but i don't believe him. He as of yet has made no such comment about the prequels. As a matter of fact he doesn't even consider them canon!!?? As for my Star Wars stories, i leave them to George Lucas. OK stop it. I know that most of you hate the guy but please, ANY story is better than his and by giving mine now that i die he might just might produce a better Star Wars trilogy next time. This way i'll have saved a few lives.

Now that everything is taken care of i might rest in peace and become one with the force. My chosen way of suicide is watching ALL prequel movies. I know that you think that as the most horrible way for someone to die, but i think it's the most fitting. I estimate that either i will die the moment Anakin, the 10 year old Anakin, destroyes the control ship in "the phantom menace" and starts to yell, either in yoda's duel with Dooku, which i think is the worst scene in history of cinematography, or when i'll heard the medical droid announcing that Padme lost her will to leave, and with her i'll die too.

May the force be with you

This post has been edited by makingfun22_sw: 27 November 2008 - 11:20 AM

This is an example of a post that really belonged in another topic. Apart from your opening sentence, there isn't anything here about APOCALYPSE NOW.

Also dare I say this topic didn't have enough going for it to be revived after a year.

Civ's post.