Chefelf.com Night Life: EwokHunter's Ewoks Guide for Surviving - Chefelf.com Night Life

Evaluation
* star to *****stars

Weapons:
Rocks (*)
Nuts (*)
Sticks (**)
Ropes (**) (Difficult for finding them)
Your Hands (0)
Biting (*****)
Bigger Rocks (**) (Difficult for carrying them)
The only matter is that they have laser guns and the sith's lightsabers...and are the double of tall!

Friends: Being evaluated by their power.
Jedis (*****)
Bounty Hunters (****)
Siths (*****)
Rebels (***)
Stormtroopers (***)
Wookies (**and half)
Simple Humans with weapons (***)
Simple Humans without weapons (**)
Chances for having friends like all above (0)

Your Skills:

Building (***)
Fighting (0)
Having friends (0)
Communicating (0)
Knowledge (0)
Swimming (0)
Running (0)
Repairing (0)
Computer Skills (0)
Cooking (0)
MAKING A SHOWER (000)

SURVIVING NOT GUARENTEED FOR EWOKS FOR NOW.

Wait for the last 2 Volumes more of Ewoks!!!

And The Jedis, Siths and BountyHunter Guides!!!

hahahah what do you know....that regiment of stormtroopers really did suck.

I have here the Guides of all species I will make:

Ewoks
Jedis
Siths
BountyHunters
Orcs
Elves
Hobbits
Men
Dwarves
Dragons
Saiyans
N00bies
Democrats
Republicans
Moslems

Ewoks Guide for Surviving Volume 2:

HEALTH:

Cooking:
Well, they can't cook.

Food:
Nuts, Water and bugs.

Most common disease:
Stomache disease

Sports:
Escape of being hunted.
Hunt bugs.


EDUCATION


HoRrtografphy (0)

Reading (0)

At least speaking (000)

Math (If they can even speak, how they can know if numbers exist)

History (There isn't history about ewoks...well only Episode VI)

Geography (*****) Only two place Jungle and lake.


One volume more!!!

Jedis and Siths

Weapons:
Lightsabers (***** *)

Well there's only one weapon, well I think I better classified them by their color.

Evaluation of Coolness:
Purple (***** *) Only avilable for Mace Windu
Red (*****) Only avilable for Siths
Green (****)
Blue (****)
Yellow (0)

Abbilities:
Moving Objects (***) Lazies
Throwing a Lightsaber (0) Is that even an ability?
Thunders (*****) Only avilable for Siths
Making life with midichlorians (0) Only avilable for siths(This is better:Making life with sex (***** *))
Reflexes (*****) Imagine a world where goalkeepers are Jedis or Siths
Persuading (***** *) Star Wars Geeks really want this power a week before the Prom

Jedis and Siths Characters:
Obi-Wan (*****)
Darth Vader (***** **)
Darth Sidious (**** *)
Qui-Gon (***** *)
Anakin ''Hayden'' (0)
Yoda (0)
Luke (***)
Mace Windu (*****)
Darth Maul (***** *)
Count Dooku (*****)
Aayla Secura (**) Because she's hot
Ki Adi (***)
Plo Koon (***)
Kit Fisto (****)
General Grievous (***** *) He isn't a Sith but... he is cool

What is with all the extra stars? That mean they are extra-cool? I was under the impression it was only from 1-5.

Extra Cool. Or maybe extra stupid. Or Extra something... like:

People who waste time posting:
Barend (***** ***** ***** *****)

Lol.

Here is a sample one I did for dwarves. Just call it a fanfiction of sorts.

Beards: (* * * * *)

Heavy weapon that weighs as much as they do: (* * * * * *)

Hard-hat Viking Helmet: (* * * *)

Ability to hold their liquor: (* )

Bounty Hunters

Weapons:
Blasters (***)
Rockets (**** and a half)
Jet Pack (*****)
Threads (0)

Most stupid thing made by a Bounty Hunter:

Contracting a bounty Hunter (***** *****) Jango Fett is stupid

Contractors:

Huts: (****) They're rich but...gross.
Imperial People (*****)
Bounty Hunters (***) Ignore their.....well Jango's stupidness.

Yeah, Jango hiring another bounty hunter to do the job didn't make any sense, and Chefelf brought this up in 'Reasons to Hate Attack of the Clones.'

That would be like me hiring someone to mow lawns, and then when they didn't get the job done, I go and kill them, then don't finish the yard that they started.

^ Exactly how much sense it makes.

Elves:

Weapons:
Wooden Arrows (**) For god's sake, orcs and uruks had shields too!
Daggers (****) Two daggars mean being cool.

Abbilities:
Watching far away (*) I think that in that age they invented the scope.
Heal (****) Only for elves like Galadriel.

Elves:
Galadriel (***** *)
Legolas (****)
Arwen (yawn)
Elrond (*****)

Hobbits - SWIU Version

Hairy feet (*****)

Smoking pipes (*****)

Walking stick (***** *)

Ability to be quiet (***** *)

Bravery (*****)

Where'd you dissapear off to, EwokHunter?

Vacations.

(This is maybe the worst post ever.)

I beg to differ. There's a Search button somewhere at the top of this page, click on it and instruct the script to find all of Cobnat's posts, if you really seek to be enlightened about the worst posts ever.

Edit: That is, worst comprehensible posts ever. We don't want to feel Dee left out, now do we? Alright, alright, don't say a thing, I'll shut up already, 'twas a joke, a mere joke, please don't reply to this, if you're a certain someone who might feel insulted by these words.

This post has been edited by Gobbler: 11 August 2006 - 12:15 PM