Chefelf.com Night Life: People who are waiting for marriage to have sex. - Chefelf.com Night Life

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People who are waiting for marriage to have sex.

#211 User is offline   Laughlyn Icon

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Posted 11 January 2006 - 08:00 PM

Peer-pressure, the fact that they now have kids, religious reasons, fear of not being able to find anyone else to love.....

All common reasons married couples stay together.

Sex is rarely one of them.
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#212 User is offline   Amber-Nicole Icon

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Post icon  Posted 11 January 2006 - 08:22 PM

"Sex is good, sleep with many people! The more people you sleep with the better chance you have of falling in love." -Teriyaki Souffle, AKA Wilbert

Wise words from a friend who's been trying to cheer me up. Bwahaha. Also, I totally have a date set for Monday! smile.gif
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#213 User is offline   Jordan Icon

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 04:31 AM

I understand what true love is now, I just watched Mr and Mrs Smith. (the guy from the OC was in it too!)
Oh SMEG. What the smeggity smegs has smeggins done? He smeggin killed me. - Lister of Smeg, space bum
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#214 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 03:39 PM

I'm no longer sure, after your last quote, A-N, what your position is. It sounds like you just did a total turnaround and favor sex of itself over sex + love. You definitely can't be advocating falling in love with loads of different people, unless the term means less to you than I think it does to say, Slade. I think you're siding with Jordan whether you want to or not.

Everyone, all this shit about "experience" and "age" and "wisdom" is all crap. You're just at opposite extremes of the argument: anyone who says that love enhances sex is just saying they would be uncomfortable having sex without love. Asking Jordan to succumb to love and then have sex first is denying that his own sexual experiences may have been just as fun as yours, even if they didn't develop relationships that ran longer.

Speaking from age, and experience, I can tell you that sex is enhanced by mood and lust. Relationships are enhanced by love and trust, and yes, you're gonna have more sex then, so the chance of having boring sex will increase with time. I think this is why love gets its bad rap, because it leads to more sex, increasing the odds of an eventual burnout. My memories of past relationships are seldom memories of sex. My memories of past sex are seldom meories of love.

Yes, to whatever someone said about the zeitgeist and the overselling of high-stakes, take-no-prisoners overheated passion. Yes yes of course. But that might just mean the answer is more recreational sex, without all the overheated romance and heightened expectation. It's not necessarily an argument for love.

Jordan: it'd be nice I guess if you met someone you could feel strongly about. Then you'd know for sure whether you're one of those people whose relationships are enhanced by love, or whether you're just looking to blow your wad.

This post has been edited by civilian_number_two: 15 January 2006 - 09:55 PM

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#215 User is offline   Dr Lecter Icon

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 07:47 PM

A wiseman once said that sex can never be true, since it requires a lie from one of the parties. Since men need to sex to feel loved, but women need to feel loved to have sex.
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#216 User is offline   Jordan Icon

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Posted 13 January 2006 - 08:26 PM

QUOTE
Speaking from age, and experience, I can tell you that sex is enhanced by mood and lust. Relationships are enhanced by love and trust, and yes, you're gonna have more sex then, so the chance of having boring sex will increase with time. I think this is why love gets its bad rap, because it leads to more sex, increasing the odds of an eventual burnout. My memories of past relationships are seldom memories of sex. My memories of past sex are seldom meories of love.


That's what I think. I think I was trying to say that.

This post has been edited by Jordan: 13 January 2006 - 08:35 PM

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#217 User is offline   Spoon Poetic Icon

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 01:14 AM

Um...

I feel that sex is enhanced by love...

But never was uncomfortable with the sex without love bit, either.

People can think whatever they want to about sex and love, but I don't appreciate being told that I'm wrong about something that really has no right answer; that my beliefs are screwed up; and that I don't know what I'm talking about.

And for the record, it's not that love can make bad sex good or anything quite so dramatic as that. It's more like, instead of the sex being purely physical, the emotional side gets to have its role, too, and for many people (even though guys don't like to admit it), this can be extraordinary. Also, since you're not having sex just for the sake of sex, it can take the pressure off, you don't feel like you need to be "good," relaxging you and making you better, afterall. This is my own experience as well as experience that has been shared with me by others, girl and guy.

Edit: I'm feeling generous, so I fixed an obnoxious typo in the second to last sentence.
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This post has been edited by Slade: 15 January 2006 - 02:58 AM

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#218 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 02:56 AM

I concur with the Spoon.

The emotional attachment takes away all of the pressure that just having sex entails (such as the need to perform), and lets the couple enjoy being intimate with one another in as deeply a way as humans can physically be, as a fun experience that reflects the emotional intimacy shared.

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#219 User is offline   Dr Lecter Icon

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 07:03 AM

I agree, I just think its a good foundation for an attack on Christianity.
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#220 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 04:21 PM

Everything's a good foundation for an attack on Christianity to you.
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#221 User is offline   Spoon Poetic Icon

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Posted 15 January 2006 - 08:55 PM

What the hell does this have ANYTHING to do with Christianity??
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#222 User is offline   Dr Lecter Icon

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 02:49 PM

I was born to attack Christianity.
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#223 User is offline   Emu Icon

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 04:07 PM

I attacked Christianity with your mom last night!
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#224 User is offline   Otal Nimrodi Icon

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 04:36 PM

Oooh! Dissed!

*Triple-snap*
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#225 User is offline   Icey Icon

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Posted 16 January 2006 - 04:55 PM

Speaking from experience, meaningless sex is just that, meaningless sex. Also, maybe I just had a weird relationship but all of my memories with Perla are sex related. Next to her giving birth of Baby Alex it's sex sex, watching Eddie Izzard live and then having sex in the bathroom. So, yeah, I'm propably insane.

Meaningless sex. It's just bad, in my opinion. In comparison, Perla was utter crap in bed, but still sex with her was always far far more enjoyable and rewarding.
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