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NHL Playoff Commercial Review (Rounds 1 & 2)

Thu, 21 May 2009 19:24:22 +0000

NHL Playoff Commercial Review (Rounds 1 & 2)

With two rounds of the NHL Playoffs down and two rounds to go, I thought it fitting to recap the most important part of this sporting events: the commercials. Here are some that have caught my eye so far:

The Most Interesting Man in the World

View Video @ YouTube.com

A YouTube search for "the most interesting man in the world" will give you a good deal of outtakes, other commercials, and back story. However, nothing quite sets it up like this commercial. The most striking part of this commercial (to me) is when we see him engaged in kendo practice. I wish there was an entire movie of The Most Interesting Man In The World doing kendo. I'm always ashamed when a commercial entertains me on the level where I want to watch it a second time. The only thing that ashames me more is that if I am presented with the choice of Dos Equis on a beer menu, I will be influenced by this commercial to select it. I think that's the first time that's ever happened to me.

thePORTAL on NHL.com

View Video @ YouTube.com

This is the second most homoerotic commercial ever produced. However, it's the single most homoerotic commercial that has ever been produced without the name Lorne Michaels attached to it. (See the Schmitt's Gay Beer Commercial to see a slightly more homoerotic commercial).

I'm annoyed by the guy in this commercial. The camera view bothers me. The way this jerk claps seems chumpish. And the way he lurks around the locker room and ogles Alexander Ovechkin who is strangely poking a phalic hockey stick is flat out disturbing.

Papa John's

View Video @ YouTube.com

What could be better than ordering a greasy pizza and having it hand-delivered by the CEO of the mega-chain that manufactured it? This series of commercials explores the answers to that question by having Big Papa personally deliver pizzas to unsuspecting customers and crashing their parties. In this commercial Papa John crashes a teenagers' pizza party by infiltrating it with his camera crew and making them have to refrain from the likely underage drinking and illegal drug use that was about to occur. However, it is impressive how well Papa John can throw a football.

In another ad from this series, Papa John ruins a girl's 9th birthday party. The girl is polite enough to pretend that she's happy that this old man delivered himself along with her pizza. Papa John repays her kindness by awkwardly hitting on her during the entire commercial.

It's uncomfortable.

Pizza Hut Pasta Blindfolded Family Commercial

I couldn't find a video of this one anywhere. In this commercial, a family of four is blindfolded, taken out of their house, driven around for a while, then brought back home and told they are in a restaurant. This is all presumably done with their consent. The family is then fed Pizza Hut pasta and asked to review it. Then, much to their shock, they are told that they're actually at home and this is Pizza Hut's delivery pasta. They are shocked that they are at home even after the blindfolded walk back up their unique back steps, and into their home which has none of the characteristic sounds and smells of a restaurant, but many of the characteriestic sounds and smells of their own house.

The first time I saw this commercial I missed the setup and thought that this commercial was intentionally trying to be unbelievable because there's actually no way you would be able to fool someone using this method. I actually thought it was quite hilarious that they'd blindfolded some people in their own home and then asked them if they thought they were in a fancy restaurant. Sadly, I don't think they were going for intentional unbelievability.

My commercial would have been so much better.

Let a Stranger Drive You Home

View Video @ YouTube.com

In this commercial, a bunch of drunk assholes take a cab home because they have consumed too much Heineken. An old cab driver doesn't spend the entire cab ride talking in muffled tones on his cellphone but, instead, joins in an improptu group singing of Biz Markie's "Just a Friend."

Not likely.

Bea Arthur: Goodnight, but not Goodbye

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 21:57:59 +0000

Bea Arthur: Goodnight, but not Goodbye

I was sad to learn of Bea Arthur's passing this afternoon. My first instinct is to pay a loving tribute to Dorothy Zbornak (n�e Petrillo). After all, this is how most of my generation learned of Bea Arthur. Maude was a little too early for me to truly appreciate. I have vivid memories of watching The Golden Girls with my parents every Saturday night. I didn't realize at that young age that Bea Arthur always played the same type of character: an exceptionally sarcastic woman designed to cut down nitwitted and slutty older women. Well, maybe that was just her character on The Golden Girls.

In tribute, I'd like to bid farewell to Ackmena, her character from The Star Wars Holiday Special.. She steals the show in this film (not that there was much to steal) and I have long argued that her performance is one of the few truly great moments in the special. Watch it now and see if you don't agree. (You will definitely agree. It's fantastic!)

View Video @ YouTube.com

Goodnight, Bea Arthur, but not goodbye!

Self-Proclaimed Nerds/Geeks

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:13:31 +0000

Why I Hate People That Self-Identify as Nerds or Geeks

Something I have long hated has been the self proclaimed nerd/geek (SPNG). This breed has been around for a while. The problem with this group of people is that they truly think and believe that they are special, unique, and better than everyone else. Here are some things I hate about the SPNG:

The SPNG hates people and things in the mainstream and latches onto obscure music, television, or movies until they hear someone they don't like mention them then disposes of them because they are too mainstream.
The SPNG constantly flaunts their geek cred by mentioning how amazing they are for liking something that is slightly less mainstream.
The SPNG does not see the humor in the fact that they like an "obscure" TV show with only 5,000,000 viewers instead of a mainstream show with 10,000,000 viewers.
The SPNG will ocassionally throw in a line from Flight of the Conchords and nod knowingly to his friends as if you didn't know what they were talking about.
The SPNG may or may not pretend to like Battlestar Galactica a little more than they actually do to preserve their nerd cred.
The SPNG definitely pretends to like Johnathan Coulton much more than they actually do.
The SPNG claims that they've never actually heard of American Idol even though that is impossible.
The SPNG actually thinks a quote from Star Wars is obscure even though there isn't a single line in any of the six movies that is not instantly recognizable to 85% of all males from the age of 25 to 45.
The SPNG loves to self-aggrandize about how beautiful their life/culture is.
The SPNG writes lenghty emails to television networks begging them not to cancel their favorite show. This email includes a point-by-point analysis of how the show actually has much more viewers and fans than the network realizes and takes it for granted that the network has not actually done the math on whether canceling the show will be beneficial to their bottom line. Apparently TV networks just like to cancel hugely popular and lucrative shows just to make geeks sad.
The SPNG either just discovered xkcd or discovered it years ago and now hates it because other SPNGs have discovered it.
The Famous SPNG writes books and does interviews where they talk about how special their geek culture is while other SPNGs fawn over said books or interviews.
The SPNG thinks that maybe, one day, one of their online petitions will be successful.
The SPNG thinks that they are better than other people because their tastes are more refined and original. They think these other people are either pedestrian or snobbish. The SPNG legitimately does not see the irony in this.

I feel much better now. That's been bugging me for a while.

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