Chefelf.com Night Life: People who are waiting for marriage to have sex. - Chefelf.com Night Life

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People who are waiting for marriage to have sex.

#1 User is offline   Lord Melkor Icon

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Posted 27 May 2005 - 04:25 PM

What is your opinion of people who declare that they won`t have sex until they are married?
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#2 User is offline   civilian_number_two Icon

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Posted 27 May 2005 - 06:25 PM

It takes all kinds.
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Posted 27 May 2005 - 07:48 PM

It is their right and opinion, and not my place to say otherwise.
Personally that's not me, but I don't think them better or worse than anyone else for believing so.
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Posted 27 May 2005 - 08:24 PM

I say that it's king of silly, but it's their religion, and who am I to judge?
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#5 User is offline   Laughlyn Icon

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Posted 27 May 2005 - 08:42 PM

It's not always regilion that's involved in this issue, sometimes it's just the persons personal beliefs about sex. Some people just think that virginity is more special than others.

I'm cool with it, providing their opinion's not forced down my throught
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Posted 27 May 2005 - 10:08 PM

I have a greater deal of respect for them. Hell, I know I couldn't do it (at least the choosing part, my celebecy is all natural baby).

Still doesn't mean that if my friend made that choice I wouldn't poke jokes at him from time to time like you do a fat friend or a dumbass friend.

But if it was my girlfriend who made that choice I would probably curse my luck and break it off because I don't really want to get married in the future. (Maybe but it just don't fit in my plans)
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#7 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 01:04 AM

I'm not one for it, but if other people want to wait until marriage, they can go right ahead. I'm of the opinion that love is fleeting and life it too short to decide you want to settle down and get married before having sex with one's signifigant other.
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#8 User is offline   Jane Sherwood Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 02:49 AM

QUOTE (Laughlyn @ May 27 2005, 08:42 PM)
Some people just think that virginity is more special than others.

People like me. I'm quite proud of my virginity.

Of course, it's probably easier to feel that way because I'm female. From what I understand, it seems like males are more ashamed and embarrassed by their virginity.

I can't see sex as being some casual, meaningless thing. That kind of invasion, putting yourself in that position...that's big. Very, very big. That's a special kind of purity and you can never it get back once it’s lost. And I don't plan to allow anyone to do that to me unless I can willingly and confidentially bind myself to that person for life.




...That may have sounded a bit over dramatic there, but...
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#9 User is offline   Slade Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 03:06 AM

Pure... I'm about as pure in thought as a mud puddle. In action you'd think I was pretty dull and hadn't lived much, and you'd be right!

But sex is certainly not something to be taken lightly.

This post has been edited by Slade: 28 May 2005 - 03:07 AM

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 06:06 AM

Asimov's autobiography has a nice take on the topic. He says that they felt society's praise for waiting but the sex was awful because neither of them knew what they were doing. As for my own experience, I figured I'd marry the bloke eventually. That ended up not happening because I had better things to do than serve as a surrogate mother figure. However, I can't say I regret my non-virginal status. Practise makes perfect.
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#11 User is offline   Lord Melkor Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 06:21 AM

Jane Sherwood, do you have a boyfriend you love? Does he share your point of view?

To male posters: What do you think about the situation when a person you have affection towards would like to wait for marriage, and she is not willing to marry for the next 4 years at last?
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#12 User is offline   Laughlyn Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 07:12 AM

Jane: Surprisingly for a serial relationship bastard, I actually think that you're opinions a good thing. You're very right, It's something you can't get back. You do have the advantage of still being young, so hang on to it until you think you're ready\ met mr(\mrs?) right.

Lord Meklor: It really depends on how much affection you feel towards them. If you can convince yourself that it's worth it then there should be no problem. One question though; Are other things on the menu, or are we purely talking intercourse here?
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#13 User is offline   Lord Melkor Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 07:21 AM

QUOTE (Laughlyn @ May 28 2005, 01:12 PM)
Jane: Surprisingly for a serial relationship bastard, I actually think that you're opinions a good thing. You're very right, It's something you can't get back. You do have the advantage of still being young, so hang on to it until you think you're ready\ met mr(\mrs?) right.

Lord Meklor: It really depends on how much affection you feel towards them. If you can convince yourself that it's worth it then there should be no problem. One question though; Are other things on the menu, or are we purely talking intercourse here?


This person follows Catholic doctrine, so things like Oral Sex are also out of question, though I am not pushing it, I am trying to be delicate. And sexual attraction is actually the least important reason I am with this person, I find her personality fascinating and really suitable for me. But sometimes I feel a bit... unfullfilled.

This post has been edited by Lord Melkor: 28 May 2005 - 07:24 AM

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#14 User is offline   Laughlyn Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 07:45 AM

Rent porn then, It'll be your sin, not hers.

No, seriously, If it's going to bother you for a long time (4 years) and you think there's a chance that it'll screw things up further down the line, you might be better off calling it off for both your sakes. In my experience, Good friends are far easier to deal with than (potential) lovers.
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#15 User is offline   J m HofMarN Icon

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Posted 28 May 2005 - 11:10 AM

I've actually been in the position of avoiding sex once before but luckily the girl was so ugly and full of baggage that it wasnt that big of a temptation. I kind of have to go with Jane on this whole issue.

Sex has been turned from something that is fun into some kind of competitive sport by the corporate media. The ideal of the "player" is constantly talked up, and the porno industry makes millions off of people who could see most of the stuff just as easily for free.

Personally I find the idea of saving virginity to be a virtuous and kind of independent decision. It's probably an especially good idea for women to wait cuz, lets face it, theres plenty of men who are just looking for that certain something.

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