Y: La-la-la-la-la. What a jolly nice day. Flowers, butterflies, the smell of apple pie, gr--
Male 1: Hey, look every body. Its Yahtzee.
*a large crowd gathers around Yahtzee*
Male 2: You changed my life, Mr. Yahtzee.
Female 1: You're such a great influence to us all. Please tell me what method of blow job is more appropriate. I can try it on you if you want me to. I'll do anything.
Male 3: Can I shake your hand? Please? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease--?!?!?!!?12132
Y: JESUS CHRIST! What the hell is wrong with you people?
Male 1: Can we have a picture of you?
Female 1: Yeah, I would masturbate to it all day. Sheshesheshe
Male 2: You would look great on camera. Better than Tom cruise or Johnny Depp or even Steve Irwin.
Y: (Oh, I don't want to upset these youngsters. Its alright Yahztee, they won't bite...I hope not). Alright, alright. We'll have some pictures. But make them quick.
Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!!!!! *they all sing Hallelujah and run around in white robes*
During the photo shoots:
Male 1: OK, a little bit to the left.
Y: Is this alright?
*Youngsters take out knives and pistols and gather around Yahtzee forming a defensive circle*
*click*
Y: Um...okaaaay. Who's---WHO TOUCHED MY BUM?
Female 1: I did.
Y: WHY YOU---Um, I mean---please...don't do that again, it makes me nervous.
After a few shots:
Y: Alright, I should get going now.
Male 1: Wait, we still have to take some pictures of you and the girl in serious action.
Y: "Serious...action"?
A view from outside the bathroom:
Y: NO, WAIT--STOP. WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
Female 1: *while others are carrying Yahtzee* Its alright, we wouldn't hurt you. We just want something as a memorial.
Y: HELP, I DON'T WANT THESE CRAZY CREATURES TO DO CRAZY SHIT ON MEEEEE.
By passer: Another poor soul...gone.
*sound of bangs and screaming emit from the Bathroom*
Y: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa....
*Machine gun fire fsx*
*More screams and machine gun fire sounds emit*
Y: *Breaks down door covered in blood with p-90 sub-machine gun in hand* *violent twitching* *angry face* Awlright, which one of ya wan' a taste of myaaai steel?
Fan: Hi there, Mr. Yahtzee, can I-- *shot dead by Yahtzee*
Y: *sees a crowd approaching* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Die ya fookin' fanatic perverts! Fookin' DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!
*sounds of screams and machine gun fire can be heard off screen*
On stage:
Y: My measure of a good videogame is VIOLENCE and SCENES OF RIP AND TEAR with some colorful amount GUNS and BULLETS penetrating the hearts of FUCKING FANATIC GAMING PERVERTS. I myself am a huge fan of these effects and find these SCENES OF VIOLENCE AND GORE attractive with MANY PEOPLE DYING. And that, is my measure of a good videogame.
*after a few moments of silence, the audience force themselves to clap and cheer lightly*
Y: Oh, and one more thing; *takes out a weapon* YOU'RE COMING WITH ME, TO HELL! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
*Yahtzee open fires on the large crowd*
The descriptions above are completely non-fictional and are accounts of several surviving eye witnesses.
This post has been edited by Game Over: 23 May 2008 - 10:41 AM