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05/08/2003 Archived Entry: "Like Laundry for Chocolate"

I tend to do my laundry once a week. Monday is my day of choice. Generally my biggest stumbling block is having to wade through two feet of clothing that lines the basement floor to get to the washing machine. This clothing has been unsystematically scattered about in some sort apparent cyclonic rage by my various housemates.

This Monday seemed to go much more smoothly. It seems that members of my household had gotten their act together and gotten their laundry in some sort of order. So I was able to do my wash without incident and bring it up to my room where it sat for three days. Which brings me to this morning.

I reached into my laundry bin when I woke up and put on a fresh clean shirt. As I checked my email I scratched my arm and felt a weird substance on my shirt. I looked down and it appeared that my shirt was covered with hard black crusty spots which was kinda cool because on an orange shirt it gave me the appearance of a sort of human-leopard hybrid.

When I returned to my room to investigate I found that nearly every piece of clothing in my basket was similarly ruined. The culprit? A piece of uneaten chocolate from Easter.

So I used up three and a half bottles of Shout and threw them back in the laundry. I'm sure moms and girlfriends around the world will be flooding the comments section to tell me of better methods soon. Since I don't give a rat's ass about my clothes it shouldn't matter too much. It can't get any worse I suppose.

Replies: 22 People Love Me!


"apparent cyclonic rage"

minus 'cy'

almost equals

"apparent colonic rage"

which makes me laugh

Posted by Lefty @ 05/08/2003 04:00 PM EST

That's more like what happened to my clothes.

Posted by Chefelf @ 05/08/2003 04:36 PM EST

The best way to get rid of a chocolate stain is to chew/suck on the spot for a few hours. It'll eventually wear off....good luck.

Posted by Attaboy @ 05/08/2003 04:40 PM EST

Yeah I did that but it was kinda soapy too. It definitely lowered the overall quality of the chocolate.

Posted by Chefelf @ 05/08/2003 04:43 PM EST

Shout is a good option. The best option, of course, is to check your pockets before you do laundry.

Posted by Jen @ 05/08/2003 10:38 PM EST

Yeah well no one's perfect. I don't often wash anything in my pockets but this just happened to slip by me.

But the good news is that all the stains came out beautifully! Yay for Shout!

Posted by Chefelf @ 05/08/2003 11:03 PM EST

Why did you have Easter candy in your pockets to begin with? I mean, carrying chocolate in your pants is a recipe for problems even if you don't wash it by accident!

Posted by Jen @ 05/09/2003 12:12 AM EST

I always carry chocolate in my pockets.

I also carry it onto my roommates' pillows so it gets in their hair. Also, I leave needles lying around the apartment so my roommates can step on them and then we have to go to the emergency room for eight hours and she gets morphine & I don't.

Aren't you EXCITED???

Posted by Caolan @ 05/09/2003 12:51 AM EST

Words cannot describe how excited I am ...

Posted by Jen @ 05/09/2003 07:29 AM EST

Sometimes you just like to carry around chocolate in your pocket! Back me up, people!

Posted by Chefelf @ 05/09/2003 08:12 AM EST

The best thing to do is put butter and sugar in your pockets and bake them at 350 degrees Farenheit for 40 minutes. Just a trick I learned as an A.C.

Posted by Paul @ 05/09/2003 11:09 AM EST

Carrying chocolate around in your back pocket leads to the chocolate being "Bum-warmed", not bad, but I prefer to let my wife carry our daily supply of chocolate around in her purse.

Posted by Attaboy @ 05/09/2003 02:47 PM EST

I find that the hip pocket is best for chocolate because you can access it easily. However, I rarely eat chocolate, so it isn't really an issue for me.

Oh, and if you keep it in a plastic bag (not unlike the zip-lock variety) it isn't as messy, and therefore: more fun.

Posted by Heccubus @ 05/09/2003 03:29 PM EST

I like to carry Morphine in my pocket as well as chocolate

Posted by Steve @ 05/09/2003 04:11 PM EST

Bum-warmed Morphine is awfully nice.

Posted by Chefelf @ 05/10/2003 09:27 AM EST

M-m-m-m-morphine.

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