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01/02/2003 Archived Entry: "1, 2, 3... Go!"

People are making a big deal about today because the digits in the date (in lousy America anyway) are: 1, 2, 3. People are idiots.

I hate it when someone unexpectedly engages you in conversation in a public place leaving the ball in your court. 90% of the time I have no idea what to say.

Example:

Today I went to the post office to ship off 7 more parcels to my faithful Amazon Marketplace customers. After I handed off my parcels to the guy at the desk he became frustrated with the computer after his first four or five attempts to make a label for the package had failed. Finally he printed one and explained: "For some reason it wouldn't let me print the label!"

I froze up. My lips and mind went numb. I didn't know why but I felt I had to respond. I couldn't just let that statement hang in the air, becoming stale and offending us with its foul odor. Terrified, my mind raced to come up with something--ANYTHING--to relieve the pregnant pause.

"Computers," I said. "You can never trust them."

What the hell? I don't believe that. I spend a good 95% of my waking day in front of a computer of some sort. The remaining 5% spent on my way to and from work or in the shower. I love computers. Nothing that I could possibly say could be further from my own beliefs. In fact it could be said that I trust computers far more than I would ever trust people for the reason stated previously: people are idiots.

"Ain't that the truth." He replied. I wondered if he really meant it or if he was thinking the same thing I was.

People are idiots.

Replies: 10 People Love Me!


Lately, I've been working on my small talk so that the most casual of conversations with a relative stranger doesn't end in bloodshed. Just today, I went into a flower shop off broad street to ask where a certain Carr street was and he took out a map, and explained that he "simply didn't know the names of streets in this area, even though its his neigborhood!" and I piped in with agreement, sharing a personal secret of my own.
"I don't know street names very well either."
Its was social brilliance!

Posted by Rory @ 01/02/2003 09:22 PM EST

You are nothing if not a social butterfly, Rory old bean.

Posted by Chefelf @ 01/02/2003 09:27 PM EST

Definitely nothing Rory, definitely nothing.

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