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11/07/2002 Archived Entry: "Is There a Draft in Here?"

I really don't like arguing about anything political with people. I do have my opinions but I reserve arguing about politics with only my closest of friends. These discussions are usually limited to shouting matches at 3:00 in the morning over Hitler's true intentions in Europe with a frazzled Rory and generally never include current events. Sometimes Paul and I will just share a: "Yeah, that Bush sure sucks, huh?" "Yeah."

I was helping out one of the older gentlemen at work today and we started talking. He told me that Bush was going to reinstitute the draft. This reminded me of some hogwash that my friend Paul (not the Paul of lanceandeskimo.com fame) was spouting shortly after September 11th--the first September 11th, not this most recent one. He was telling me how he was going to get drafted and all of this garbage. I assured him that he wouldn't but the more I tried to comfort him by telling him that he wouldn't be drafted, the more angry he became about being drafted.

Here were the reasons I presented him for not getting drafted:


  1. At 25, Paul was simply too old to be drafted. When there were plenty of men in America from 18-22, I can imagine it would be some time before they had to begin drafting 25 year olds. Short of a full scale invasion of China I could scarcely imagine a scenario where America would take that kind of casualties.
  2. He was married.
  3. He had a kid. I don't think that America makes a practice of turning kids fatherless and mothers into widows.
  4. Most importantly... there wasn't going to be a draft. Period.

I thought that those points were quite valid and that his argument of "I'm telling you, kid!" was just a little weak.

So fast forward to this afternoon and I'm having this argument again, this time with a man in his sixties/seventies. Now he was telling me that I was going to get drafted. For some reason people telling me that I'm going to get drafted just pisses me off and I feel compelled to argue with them.

So I gave my standard argument. "I don't think I'm going to get drafted."

"You don't think so."

"No. I really don't think so."

"You shouldn't be so sure."

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Well we'll see."

"Yes, sir. We will see."

"What makes you think you won't get drafted?"

"I'm too old."

"How old are you?"

"25."

"Oh, you're not too old."

"I'm pretty much at the end of the drafting spectrum."

"Well if you're healthy you'll go."

"In the event that there is a draft, which there isn't going to be, and I am healthy enough to go, then I'll also be healthy enough to run to Canada."

"You would go to Canada?"

"You're damn right I'll go to Canada!"

"God, when I was your age I'd already been in and out of the military."

"Excellent."

Canada would be excellent! I would totally live in Canada indefinitely rather than have to fight in a war. There's no question! I like cold weather, I'm French-Canadian, how bad could that be?


O Canada! Terre de nos aïeux,

Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!

Car ton bras sait porter l'épée

Il sait porter la croix!

Ton histoire est une épopée

Des plus brillants exploits

Et ta valeur, de foi trempée

Protégera nos foyers et nos droits,

Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

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