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08/29/2002 Archived Entry: "Problems of Mobility"

Biking did not go so great yesterday. I got kinda a late start and it was pretty cold out. I also couldn't help but notice that it looked like rain was imminent. I parked my car in the parking lot to the bike path and broke out my nifty new hand pump.

I bought this little portable hand pump for my bike so that if I forgot to pump up my tires before I leave the house I could do it right before I hop on the trail. A brilliant plan. I unscrewed the cap for the tire and attached the pump to immediately hear all of the air in my tire drain out nearly instantaneously. No amount of reattachment or enthusiastic pumping would do anything to inflate the tire in the slightest bit. Could it be that I was simply too stupid to know how to use this rather ordinary bike pump. Could very well be.

Disgusted I reached for my shorts to cover up my horrendous spandex covered ass. I guessed that I would have to drive to the nearest bike shop and buy an easier moron level bicycle pump. Then I shut the back door to my car. Damn! My keys were in the car. And the back door was now locked. No problem, I thought. I have a spare key. Can you guess where the spare key was? Just guess. I'll give you three guesses. Nope. Uh uh. Yup! In the car. Wonderful.

I stood there for a couple of minutes just walking around checking all the doors a few times (always a sign of grave desperation). No luck. So now I had to formulate a plan. The way I saw it I had two options: 1.) Call AAA and just hope to god that their computers are too stupid to realize that I never paid them my membership fees and that my membership officially ended four months earlier, or 2.) Bust my back window with a rock.

I then decided to try the first option before the very expensive second option. Normally I am quick to complain about cell phones and people with them but I was quickly grateful that every living man woman and child now owns a cell phone. I asked the first guy I saw if he had a cell phone and, sure enough, he did. I called AAA, crossed my finger and... they bought it! They totally didn't even realize that I'm not a member any more. What are the odds of that?

So I exchanged all of the necessary information with the woman on the other end and then sat on a wall freezing my ass off for the next hour and a half. I even had to eat all of my cycling food so by the time all was said and done it was 5:30 I was cold and hungry and in no shape for a bike ride. Damn.

I leave for Cape Cod tonight but Weatherbug says it's going to rain for the next couple of days. Damn you, cruel fate.

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